I wish I had never started smoking..
I started smoking when a guy that I was seeing ended up with one of my best friends behind my back. I wanted to show them how much they hurt me by 'rebelling': Drinking, smoking, going out lots and changing who I was. It took me 2 years to finally come to terms with what these people in my life did to me, but by then, I was too far gone with my smoking.
I associate my smoking with every emotion possible: When I'm angry or hurt (as per why I started), I smoke. I smoke when i'm in a happy mood, stressed or run down, when i'm bored, had a rough day at work, when i'm out and socialising with people over a drink, but I now mostly smoke out of routine and habit.
I kick myself for letting myself smoke for as long as i have. I wish i coulod go back to when the situation started and coped with my problems in any other way that wasn't by starting to smoke. I've been smoking for 3.5 years now and my body has had enough. I'm a PE teacher who smokes and I HATE people judging me for it. I was to be samoke free to set a good example to my students and not encourage this behaviour. TIME FOR ME TO STOP!!
I think we all viewed smoking as the fix to everything, when we are sad, angry, happy or anxious, but the fact is - it has no special powers, it's just an addiction but a very mighty one! For me champix is working, I am day 54 smoke free after 35 years. You are on the right track, you want to do this and you can! You will be amazed at how much better you feel, even if u think u are healthy now, you will notice. A clarity to your breathing that u didn't even know was missing! Oh and you will smell good too! Just pick a method, or go cold turkey and then set your date. You can do this! All the best to you!