ding ding .... round three ... here's for it being a charm

so here I am on day 10 of champix. all my reasons for never needing them again must have gotten glossed over along the way ... the dreams ... the way it messes with ur sleep ... and oh! what it does to bodily functions!!! I'm 43 years old and yes I've been down this road before. so what went wrong? ... can I blame life? I guess I can ... but it's probably better that I sit the blame on my shoulders, as truth is, no one tied me up and forced that first " it's only one" cigarette between my lips. so why will I make it work this time? ... I have hidden that I began again from my parents ... which made my kids keep my dirty little secret too, this has never been fair on them. last december my mum was diagnosed with adenocarcenoma of the lung ... lung cancer ... her reward for many years of smoking. my dad has had two lots of open heart surgery ... the odds for my survival seem pretty bleak at times, and here I've been puffing away like there are no consequences! this has to be my final quit. champix are nasty. but the smoking I've been doing is even nastier. for me, my children,, my bank balance and style of living, I have to be successful this this time! I have never shared before or had support, so with.a bit of luck, my odd rantings placed here wil help my resolve and keep me on track.