its time!!

I am 29 and have been smoking since i was 14 - i have quit on and off and always gave into temptation ive quit using evrything the champix nicotene patches and hypnotherapy and i always went back to it!!! i always used weight gain as a reason to go back to it however upon thinking about it it was never me that actually wanted to give up it was my husband that would try and push me therefore i felt like i was trying to sabotage myself by saying i was gaining weight or cranky or stressed at work and the kids to take it back up....

this time is different - last year i was sick alot and its rare i get sick - i noticed out of all my friends that i was the only smoker left everyone had given up i was feeling embarrassed and would hide to have a ciggerate. it got to December 2012 and i was coughing alot i couldnt lay on my back even without coughing - i am fit and active person and i was realising that before smoking never affected my exercise but now i could feel my breathing harder and my chest tight - i was waking up in the morning where it hurt to breath and my chest was tight - i said to my husband i dont enjoy smoking anymore and my smoking is getting heavier and heavier the cost is enormous and if i dont stop soon i really think im on the verge of developing cancer or emphysemia... i was going to qld in jan and a cruise in march i said after hte cruise in march i will quit - well after a week of feeling even worse i said i dont want to wait this has to stop now or il keep putting it off noone is forcing me this is me wanting to do it! So i started by reducing the ciggerates and smoking a different brand all tips i had read that would help - i am also a habit person therefore i have bought an e ciggerate to help me when i get really stuck and frustrated .. i made the date for tomorrow 28 jan 2012 to wake up and not have a ciggerate or lighter around - usually on my day before quitting in previous attempts i would smoke like a chimney thinking oh il never have this again today its nearly 1pm and ive only had 2 which is very little for me!!!

im hoping to take up a new hobby or interest to refocus my mind and have been looking into that i also want to move from nsw to gold coast in a max of 2 years and hae made it my goal to really make a huge dint in my mortgage - i can spend up to $400 a month on ciggerattes thats crazy! all that will be going on my house loan... fingers crossed