Banging on and on about giving up

So over the last 10 years i have gone from main stream smoker to hiding in alley ways to sneak in a fag alone. What a world, when something so main stream and acceptable becomes so horrid and offensive.

I have in the past given a passing thought to quitting cut down to 5 a day then the world came crashing down around me and I got back up to 20 a day, I made an excuse to be weak but I wasn’t to fussed with the result as people around me were still smoking so for a moment it was still socially acceptable. I then went cold turkey lasted 3 hours, no excuse this time just my heart wasn’t in it. I wondered what I would do if I didn’t smoke I would have all this free time to fill in, because I notice that my 5-10 min fags usually take place when I am sitting down and staring out at the world.

I have done a lot of cold turkey before; I gave up medication which saw me literally ill for two weeks, both mentally and physically. A few years back I kicked a very strong energy drink habit I was up to 4 cans a day from 18years old to 29, again kicking this habit I became both mentally and physically ill as my body began to heal, after that was accomplished I gave up soft drinks, which repeated my body healing process. So it’s time I give up the fags, why?, why not?, I am not quitting because I feel quitting as a word in its self is failing we are indoctrinated from an early age that if we quit something we are admitting defeat and throwing the towel in, so I chose to look at my journey as I am leaving smoking in my past, letting my body heal and see where it takes me. I don’t want to run a marathon, I don’t want to work out to an inch of my life, I can’t say I will live longer as a result because we truly never know when our time is up, I can’t say I am going to find love however I think my options will be enhanced by not smelling like an ash tray. I am excited about the possibility of not stressing about having the money to buy more, or the restriction of going out and visually sourcing place I can do my nasty habit without offending others.

Let the journey begin!