I've had enough!!

Today was meant to be the first day of my no smoking but of course i have put it off... Not intentionally but deep down it probably was! I went and bought patches this afternoon and i have 4 cigarettes left in my packet... this is it.. NO more smoking for me! I have tried to stop smoking maybe 8 times now and the longest time was a year... a whole year, i managed to not smoke for a whole year! How come now seems like it is so hard to stop? I have to do this for myself and my kids, it is not good for them and for me... i want to see them grow up and i want to see them with their kids. I'm nervous and i feel like i am going to fail again as i have done so so many times. This time has to be different,... i have to understand that if i crave a cigarette it is not just a moment it is a life long moment, if i have one smoke i will keep having one smoke! I have to stop now and stop for good, i have had enough!