Stories & experiences

Nepean Blue Mountains

Day 4 and I slipped.....

Posted in Hints and tips 12 Feb 2012

Hi Guys,

Amazingly after last night I did not give in and have a smoke. It was actually late this afternoon when I gave in. I have no excuse for it but what I can say is that the lonliness crept in and I let the cigarette in too. I have no one I know to talk to at the moment so that's how I feel at home - alone.

I hope I haven't disappointed some of you. For myself, I can also say something that surprised me is I could actually taste the horrible thing! I haven't completely tasted the whole disgusting cigarette since the first time I must be because I haven't been smoking and some of my taste buds/smell have come back. And when I finished it, I was actually horrified in it. I felt like I had just emptied an ash tray into my mouth (which is what it is really) and I came straight inside to brush my teeth, wash my hands and spray perfume on myself. I still feel like it's in my mouth.... so in one way for me, this is a bit positive. In the fact, It turned me off. I know in one way this is a failure but in another light I am looking at myself saying, "Hey, you've gotten this far, don't let one cigarette get you down." I'm definately not perfect and I didn't even think I could make it a day let alone nearly 4! It's also a learning tool for me. I know I need a better back up plan for my stress/feeling down that's for sure.

So I definately haven't given up, this has been a hiccup along the way.

I hope everyone has had a great weekend.

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  • Roseyk February 12, 2012 | 17:50
    Don't beat yourself up Adelle, this is just a slight set back, and like you said look at it as a blessing in disguise, that the cigarette you smoked made you horrified and tasted disgusting. Just keep thinking of that the next time you get tempted to have another one. Each quit attempt just makes you stronger and your resolve to quit even bigger. Tomorrow is a new day, so get back on the horse and just keep on going. Don't focus to much on it as a failure, just look at what you can learn from it to help you through next time. Don't worry about disapointing people on here. No one is here to judge you, we are here to offer support and advice where we can based on our own experiences. Most people on this forum, know exactly what you are going through as they have been through it or are like you just starting their quit journey. The most important thing to remember is never give up on giving up, you will eventually get there:)
  • margie, Illawarra Shoalhaven February 12, 2012 | 18:49
    Don't give up Adelle! So you had 1 ciggie, pfft!! Get back on the horse (so to speak) Day 20 for me today, & if i can do it! So can you. I am 45 & have been smoking since I was 16 :( It's so hard but don't give up. Day 4 was also really hard for me too. don't worry about disappointing anyone on here, we're all going through the same thing. Hate that you feel so alone. Are you on Facebook? if it would help add me. Margaret cerff. Good luck Adelle. I'll be looking out for your updates.
  • MickeyJ, Southern NSW February 12, 2012 | 20:25
    Don't get down about it Adelle - the voice beat you this once - but you'll know next time it tries to trick you. So what are you thinking? Still on the giving up horse or been thrown and have another attempt some time in the future?

    Yep, you can add me too Adelle, and anyone else going through this- but you'll never find me - name is Michael Jones LOL. went to St francis Xaviers college. I think that is how you might narrow me down.

  • Ican February 12, 2012 | 23:17
    Hi Adelle...hmmm I can't really say too much cos I also fell off the wagon...found a banana peel and slipped good after 55 days.

    You are right about the back up plan for the emotional times. I did not have one and that was my undoing. Still have one now and a revised overall plan. I will not let my slip up stop my quit attempt. It is not the end of the world. Like you, the feeling of being alone weakened my resolve. But love your resolution to keep going and not allow one slip up ruin a really good thing for you.

    You can also find me on facebook....Karen Payne...there are a few...I have a photo of my two grandkids on a red floatie ski boat in a pool. I am also on for messenger is Love to hear from you...

    Thank you for your supportive comments on my post from yesterday...sending lots of hugs and warm strong thoughts your way...(yes, I still have some to spare and you need them right now)...

    As you rightfully said...a hiccup can be handled, dismissed and moved on. You have not disappointed anyone. These beautiful cyber buddies on here are the most supportive, non-judgemental bunch of people I have ever encountered in my 54 years on this planet.

    Hugs and lots of TLC...xoxoxox from one other imperfect person....
  • adelle, Nepean Blue Mountains February 14, 2012 | 21:16
    Hey I just wanted to jump on here quickly to thank you guys so much again for your awesome support! I am very busy at the moment and am going through quite a difficult time including allot of changes whilst still having to set myself into gear for work/study. When this settles down I will be back on here and add you on facebook. I have decided to set another quit date as at the moment too much is going on in my life. I have not given up though. Talk to you all soon :-)
  • adelle, Nepean Blue Mountains February 14, 2012 | 22:14
    I have actually just quit again. Day 1.
  • Ican February 15, 2012 | 0:11
    Good for you adelle...I will hold your hand...I have just quit again as well and am on Day 2...Lets skip off together, holding hands on the way....I just checked in to see how you were going and intending to leave a message for you here...I was soo pleased to see your last comment.

    You can do it, honey......I know this cos I can do it too..You are beautiful and deserve good things in life...keep telling yourself that..

    Hugs, hugs and more hugs...xoxoxoxox
  • adelle, Nepean Blue Mountains February 16, 2012 | 21:57
    You're all so awesome! Thanks again Ican. Good for you! I'm so happy for you :-) Thanks so much for thinking of me, so sweet of you! I know I can too and you're right. I hope you tell yourself the same thing as I'm sure you do! xoxoxoxox I'm just finished my 2nd day, 3rd night :-)

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