Stories & experiences

Bootsscooter
Hunter New England
3
Stories
18/09/2016
Joined

Really I miss it, slip up

Posted in Hints and tips 18 Sep 2016
12 Comments

I miss them. I just passed week 6, which is day 46. With 2 minor slip ups on days 29 & 43. It's now day 46 and I've had a major relapse-bought my brand, been rolling away all day 7 smokes :((

Trying to see the positives and trying not to go hard on myself, but really struggling, it's like I missed my best friend, and then went and got her back. They really have been there right by my side my whole life 20yrs 25 Rollie's a day. So confused.

Restarting a quit tomorrow, I am going to try keeping the pack near me or at least in the house..thinking this might help with the thought of losing them/loneliness..???

Advice??

I am nrt 14mg

Thanks for listening :)

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12 Comments

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  • Cameron1987, Western NSW September 19, 2016 | 14:02
    Your not alone, i slipped up to. I didnt make it as far as you though. My quit date is now tomorrow. I aslo feel lonely when i dont have them with me, but i think if i do have them with me i wont be strong enough. I feel bad for starting again and i feel like i've let my family down for it so beating myself up pretty bad at the moment. I'm sorry i cant offer you any advice though. The best i can do is wish you well and let you know that your not alone in your battle!
  • Cranky76 September 19, 2016 | 15:54
    It's interesting how our minds can play games with us. Do you really miss them? Stop and think about the whole picture before you answer this. Standing in the cold and rain or the sweltering heat just because you need one to fill your addiction. Smelling disgusting and having yellow stained fingers. Slowly killing yourself and paying through the nose for it- doesn't sound like
    much to miss. It's the drug that is only high lighting the 'missing' of it. To quit you need to be 100% on board and acknowledge that the 'addiction' is going to try trip you up..
    Good luck.
  • Johnnie, South Eastern Sydney September 19, 2016 | 17:06
    Hi Bootsscoot and Cameron. You two amaze me. You give up and then relapse after significant time. You have to understand that you need to be strong if serious about giving up. The time that you two went for without smoking was basically the hard part and then would start to get easier and easier as time goes by. So please keep going and give away or dispose of your pack of tobacco not keep it near you. We quitters all feel we have lost a best friend but we must go forward especially in my case when my best friend was edging me closer to copd. Please try harder both of you as people on this site need inspiration not "yielding" Cheers.
  • Bootsscooter, Hunter New England September 19, 2016 | 21:40
    Oh, I must be on the wrong site??
    Holy shit so glad I didn't read his last night whilst I was sobbing in fetual position on the floor. My addiction and smoking suppressed all of my emotions and pain..and played a vital role in my mental survival, and I feel lucky to be here. However I am stronger now, it dosent mean I am not weak aswell, I'm proud of my weakness and strengths. Missing the thing that suppressed my emotions for 20yrs and "helped" me cope is real, I have now 20yrs of blocked emotions and pain bubbling up-and only a vague clue on how to birth them in a safe place where I'm not reaching for anything, it's quite beautiful!!
    Well, today my "friend" was with me all day, she stayed with me, I did not give her the power to kill me by putting her in my mouth and lighting. But she was there while I cried all the way home from work!!!
    Yay go me right Johnnie?
    Smokefree Day 👊
  • Bootsscooter, Hunter New England September 19, 2016 | 21:45
    Thanks Cameron
    So nice to feel I'm not alone!!
    Good luck to you hey
    Nurture yourself, be good to yourself!
    Try not to see the negs, so many positives ok! The fact that we quitting and on here is a big step, but it's one on the journey! Pat yourself on the back!! It's a very tricky time, we need all the help we can get :)) you are very lucky to have family that care so much too :)
  • Dobbin September 20, 2016 | 1:25
    Hey Bootscooter. Good luck. There is so much support here if you wish to use it. Before using this web page and over 53 odd years I had tried numerous methods to quit and kept failing.
    I couldn't really tell you what worked this time ( 375 days free from nicotine ) as I was equally determined before.
    I think I ran out of credible excuses. However , sticking with the winners here seemed to make the difference.

    Good luck and keep posting
  • Johnnie, South Eastern Sydney September 20, 2016 | 8:34
    Hi Bootscooter, I did not mean to be rude to you or Cameron in any way. However, unfortunately it has to be told in a straight forward manner when we are trying to assist each other. If you stay on this site you need to get accustomed to that fact. It is nothing personal and we are all entitled to our opinion. Cheers.
  • Crasher September 20, 2016 | 10:33
    Hi Bootscooter and Cameron,

    I'm at day 23 today. I tried and failed at least 4 times over the last 25 years. But here I am again... The difference this time is my WANT - I actually really WANT to give up. My partner still smokes so I have "access" to ciggies any time. But I don't WANT them. For myself when I started I realised that my addiction was playing games with my mind - meaning that thingy in the mind that is satisfied when given the nicotine it craves (like a reward). So I turned the tables and let my mind play games with the addiction - so when the cravings hit I consciously told myself it was only the trigger in my head and it will pass - And guess what - it did (this was backed up with lolly pops and water sipping - ie hand/mouth actions like smoking)

    So at day 23 I can now report that my physical addiction is gone. I no longer get the dry mouth, or the feeling that I want to literally pull my hair out, or the lack of concentration, etc.. Now I only face the mental addictions - like the time of day triggers, when I finish this task I'll have a ciggie, when I drive home I'll have a ciggie, etc.. To combat these I have my water bottle which works perfectly fine for me now. Also, I don't think about smoking as much anymore.

    Don't beat yourselves up - accept your error and move on - but strengthen your resolve. Most importantly don't let YOURSELF down - because now you have to go through it all again...

    Cheers
  • Cla205 September 20, 2016 | 16:10
    Hey Cameron and Bootscooter, I am on day 19 of being smoke free... and I have slipped up here and there, but I tell myself everyday, you know your goal and where you want to be... SMOKE FREE... stay positive, stay strong.. I smoked for 30 years and this is my first attempt to quit, and I must say it is hard.. but believe me it will be worth it... This website is to help us, whether it is yielding or inspiring. we read stories, of other quitters to help ourselves through this tough time... Keep going....
  • Bootsscooter, Hunter New England September 22, 2016 | 7:46
    Thanks guys, I just really appreciate the nurturing kind of support, it's just me on this journey alone, no family, no friends.
    So kindness works the best for me :))

    Smoke free days 👊
    And they are still here with me, do yeah it can be done, better for my strength as well I believe!!
  • Greenman88 September 28, 2016 | 23:36
    It is not a game of winning and losing. This is real life .. you learn by your mistakes and falling down makes you stronger for the next time. see it as a journey. A journey toward your real self .. a stronger self !!

    Don t listen to the mind chatter ... listen to your heart .. to your real intention. Love yourself more and treat yourself with positive thoughts and actions.

    I am on day 9 .. 5th relapse .. It is a journey .. Much love to you !!
  • Bootsscooter, Hunter New England September 29, 2016 | 6:23
    Oh Greenman, inspiring post about how we see failure and courage..really like your positive perspective!!
    - "I am on day 9 .. 5th relapse .. It is a journey" - best 👊
    Hey thanks for your support, best wishes and vibes to you for your day 10 :)

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