Stories & experiences

Fullofhope
South Eastern Sydney
31
Stories
28/08/2015
Joined

Celebrating one year todat

Posted in Staying quit 22 Aug 2016
9 Comments

I came home tonight and thought, 'thank God it is not this time last year - that was such a hard night'. It is a year since I smoked my last cigarette and I am so glad I can say that. Whilst my close friends have been incredibly supportive, it was the extraordinary contributors to this site who showed me the path, cheered my along the way and gave me the determination to keep on going. I don't visit as much as I used to but I can see new cohorts going through all of this together and that is inspiring when the going gets tough.

A friend of mine congratulated me today and said I showed willpower and doggedness. I am here to say that I have NO willpower. I cannot resist what I want. However, I have been dogged about this. It has been like seeing the line at the end of the marathon and willing myself towards it. Whatever it takes to get there - wine jubes, walks, visiting this site, endless treats (am not actually sure I have saved that much with the multitude of rewards I have given myself!). It didn't occur to me until today that there was this great difference between willpower and doggedness but I thought it might be helpful to share it. One is about resisting and the other is about achieving.

My skin looks healthier (about nine kilos extra probably helps) and I sleep better. I never have to go out in the cold or become increasingly agitated at a dinner because of nicotine withdrawal. My health feels much of a muchness - no ups and no downs. I've allowed myself a sneaky grin today as a mark of complete bewilderment that I actually was able to tuck a year behind me. And I miss it every day. But only for ten minutes once or twice a day which is certainly more bearable than being on an aeroplane or going on holidays with non-smokers, or being tied up at work and gagging for a ciggie whilst sitting in an endless meeting. Missing something for a maximum of twenty minutes a day (most days, two minutes) is nothing compared to being in the claws of a smelly, dangerous and unappealing habit.

I remember Dave from WA, Nannette, Shasha, Lia and all those wonderful fighters who helped me so very much in those first few months and I wanted to thank them all and wish them well.

Ok - so now the next challenge is set - late August 2017. Onwards and upwards.

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9 Comments

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  • Nannette, Hunter New England September 27, 2016 | 20:19
    Oh Fullofhope I'm soo happy and proud that you hit your target. I'm back and I have been searching to see if you were still here. I loved your posts and the honesty with which you write. Most importantly you maintained sense of humour and made it. You should be very chuffed. I'm back only day 31 but better than day zero. I hope you continue to post and hold the torch out front for all of us to follow. You are Very inspiring xx
  • Nannette, Hunter New England September 27, 2016 | 20:17
    Oh Fullofhope I'm soo happy and proud that you hit your target. I'm back and I have been searching to see if you were still here. I loved your posts and the honesty with which you write. Most importantly you maintained sense of humour and made it. You should be very chuffed. I'm back only day 31 but better than day zero. I hope you continue to post and hold the torch out front for all of us to follow. You are Very inspiring xx
  • Iwillbeatit, Western NSW August 25, 2016 | 6:52
    Congratulations on your one year milestone. You have hit the nail on the head for me especially the rewarding oneself and I have been doing this a lot! I am at 298 days and hoped but never thought this day would come that I am now close to a year smoke free. This journey has been hard and I also get a craving every now but I and determined not to give in. Well done and thanks for posting
  • Chezzel August 24, 2016 | 7:12
    Congratulations well done what an amazing achievement, I have really enjoyed reading your posts, and your comments and advice has been spot on and so very helpful, enjoy your amazing day you deserve it big hugs
  • Chezzel August 24, 2016 | 7:10
    Congratulations well done what an amazing achievement, I have really enjoyed reading your posts, and your comments and advice has been spot on and so very helpful, enjoy your amazing day you deserve it big hugs
  • willson, Nepean Blue Mountains August 24, 2016 | 6:51
    how awesome are you well done and hope you reward yourself it is your anniversary after all
  • Dobbin August 23, 2016 | 17:08
    Well done fullofhope and thanks for your shares. You share is right on the nail and reminds us of the many rewards of quitting. Enjoy your success and please keep posting. Dobbin
  • Miss lizzy August 22, 2016 | 23:31
    Congratulations to you, what an awesome achievement and Everything you said, is so true. You are an inspiration and you definitely fill me with hope😊
  • Lia August 22, 2016 | 20:52
    Top post, Fullofhope. So glad you made it to 1 year. That is massive. What a poignant post. Gobsmacked! Never ceases to amaze me when I read such heartfelt thoughts about a journey. Love the bit where you say you miss it every day. Of course we do! Just like a partner we loved in the past. We ignore their shortcomings as we ignore our own weaknesses. We remember the good times. Thanks, Fullofhope, I think I will pen a post around the idea of just that. Remember the good times of inhaling poisons galore. Just like being in a poisonous relationship. There were no good times...

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