Stories & experiences


My First Real Meltdown!

Posted in Quit experiences 17 Jul 2016

4weeks/4days....oh my, today I got lost on my way to a flute rehearsal...literally lost! I have never signed up for any map app...blah, blah! So, after driving around for a hour and fifteen minutes, I am in the parking lot of a college campus crying....I have so few coping skills after smoking "at/thru" every challenge in my life. Heck, I just sat there and cried. Then came home, ate, took a nap and feel much, didn't have to smoke today, feel empowered to have taken good care of myself, feel grateful for the "tap on the shoulder" to start building some coping skills...I will be lost again!

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  • IC July 17, 2016 | 23:00
    we learn as we go how to cope smoke free its not quit and get what we need the next day its a journey.

    don't worry I have had my share of tears in the last 110 days of being nicotine free and its kool needed to happen and crying is a coping skill in the right place like where you did it sounds like you did good to me.

    tears are cleaning anyway you know they tested those tears against onion tears and they contain different chemicals so its healthy :)

    all part of the fun :)

  • jolynn July 18, 2016 | 0:18
    Thanks, IC....really appreciate your support!
  • HappyHusky July 18, 2016 | 19:16
    I cried so much in the first few weeks, don't worry it's okay! Don't worry, you're doing good. I felt a lot of brain fog and found myself wondering in circles sometimes, completely forgetting what I was doing. Sometimes I would think I was fine, but meanwhile I was irritated and kind of walking around, on the verge of tears. It was a relief when I finally concluded it really was from quitting smoking, and I wasn't going crazy :P It's normal and you're doing great! :)
  • jolynn July 19, 2016 | 0:04
    4weeks/5days..walked the two miles to church...mainly uphill. Took 45 minutes, as I had to stop and rest a bunch!....more tears, more bike riding, more Oreos....more hours, days, weeks of no nicotine......let's keep going strong! Thanks ya'all!
  • WhiteWillow July 19, 2016 | 1:57
    Jolynn, you are an inspiration, that's what you are, flower. There's nothing like a good cry to put everything in perspective, it's all good and you are doing amazingly. You will still get these moments but that's not necessarily stopping smoking that make you feel like you need a cry, that's just life!!! People who have never smoked also break down and cry when things get too much. You have us, you have your walking and you have your faith. Life's good and you're clean. How can it possibly be any better than that!!! You're fab, keep going one day at a time. Hugs!
  • jolynn July 20, 2016 | 0:38
    Thank you, Folks! You have no idea how much this online support is helping! Yesterday took my first ten mile bike ride in a very long time! It felt great! Urges to smoke are not as intense or maybe they aren't catching me by surprise and I am able to "let them go" easier. A stranger told me I looked "so healthy" yesterday as I was taking an evening walk, though I have always been disgusted by "reformed" smokers, I had to share my no-nicotine status with him as I noticed a pack of Marlboros in his pocket (boy, did I notice! Ha!).
  • WhiteWillow July 20, 2016 | 20:56
    Well done, flower, that's amazing. No way I could cycle 10 miles, all power to you. I did the same on the run I did at the weekend for charity and the lady I told had quit 3 years ago so we had one of those "yay, we're brilliant" grins.
  • jolynn July 27, 2016 | 4:15
    5 weeks/6days...just returned from another family gathering...goodness, it seemed as though everyone was smoking. I was smart enough to pull my tent trailer so as to have a "safe" space....but, I have NO coping skills! I spent a lot of time "angry"... At what I don't know. I couldn't handle being angry so I cried.....emotional mess, but stayed nicotine-free. My best friend was late for a swim date. I got totally and impatiently pissed, so I left...jeez, I have a lot of work to do regarding these crazy emotions!

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