Stories & experiences

manchild
53
Stories
17/03/2016
Joined

In a smoking room and offered a cigarette

Posted in Quit experiences 14 Jun 2016
10 Comments

Yesterday I literally blew my mind and body with too much coffee. I'll be honest and share with everyone that I had to drink a bottle of red wine and lots of water to counter the effects and it took the rest of the day to even get back to anything normal. I don't want to be in that situation again as I'm stressed enough as it is with what is currently going on in my life . Even if my heart is being ripped to pieces, I know that addictions and any kind of excessive behaviour won't help at all.

Today I was stressed out again but luckily did not have any coffee. I was able to survive the morning but a large portion of it was spent in a small room with a smoker. Yes I was feeling stressed and breathing in his passive smoke did not help either. Of course he offered me a cigarette more than once and I declined. Yes, I think I am starting to develop a healthy fear of smoking, kinda like being scared to cross the road without looking left and right. I did not think much about cigarettes today and was not tempted to smoke.

It does get better - At least for me!.. what I mean is it is getting better on the smoking front. As for life? Hmmm... Trying to do whats right is not easy sometimes. Just when I thought that I was doing better (and really I am) and I'm able to pick up all the pieces and put them back together again- I see that I've changed for the better and some others have just become worse. OK, thats nothing to do with smoking but its kinda like quitting for me has not just been about quitting cigarettes but more about entering into a different realm altogether.

Unfortunately I think a certain group of people would prefer me to be sickly and weak and addicted and I guess I have to leave those people behind for the moment and carry on with my new life. Then there is the other group who cheers me on and is happy for the achievements. I guess that in all of this I've discovered nicodemon is certainly not a friend ...not only that, true friends don't deceive you!

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10 Comments

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  • Flora June 14, 2016 | 23:39
    Bravo. This is not about other people, stay focused and on track....you are doing so well, keep it up.
  • Lia June 14, 2016 | 23:56
    Hi manchild, friends are friends but they will never replace your new best friends here on icanquit who are there for the ride as you work towards being free of nicotine. Hope you will do us proud.
  • IC June 15, 2016 | 0:19
    life hey, not so easy sometimes, I understand to the degree that vary rarely is the ocean smooth and flat and I can go as fast as I like and hit no bumps.

    I know also those times need to be taken full advantage off and enjoyed as much as possible as the next day might be a bit lumpy out there.

    so yes addiction has its warriors also it will use what ever means possible to lure and trick us back in, even to the point of using outside forces...

    so you are doing well MC keep at it and stick with the strength sometimes we have to leave some behind to move forward, we cant drag that with us its too heavy.

    a saying comes to mind , those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind.

    so yeah it can get a bit lonely at the top but the view is better 😊

    IC
  • weewillem June 15, 2016 | 3:47
    So typical of us, bring so stressed and dealing with it by using another stress inducing substance, then counteracting that with another stress inducing substance. Great that you can recognise this and learn (thanks for the reminder)
  • IC June 15, 2016 | 7:41
    I thought that was normal doesn't everyone do that 😊

    IC
  • manchild June 15, 2016 | 9:47
    Thanks Flora, Lia, Weewillem and IC.

    Its crazy isn't it? I'm glad that I managed to figure out that the overdosing on coffee is going to kill me. Yesterday afternoon I went out for a walk, took my youngest son (8 year old) with me as well and was a father to him. The walking and the good company is starting to bring me back to a better place. I don't want to lead myself into bad places where I fall back into bad attitudes and decide "Oh what the hell - just have a cigarette and don't think too much!"

    I am an addict, that is for sure. I'm addicted to nicotine, alcohol, coffee, gambling and probably some other things too. For the life of me , I need to quit all those things and seek things above and be addicted to doing good things instead, especially if they help others. I've managed to stay away from gambling and cigarettes for quite some time now. I guess I need to stay away from alcohol and stimulants of any kind. I know that my optimum self is stimulated through regular exercise and I don't need any stimulants if I keep busy. Boy, after more than 100 days I am beginning to see this whole thing is not just about quitting smoking. I'm sure many of you know this
  • JazzyKelly71 June 15, 2016 | 13:10
    Some great insight MC. I too have been mindful of the it's not just about quitting the smokes but an evaluation on the life I want and need to live both healthy and free. It is a rebuilding of shorts of what is important and the things we need to let go of. We are the benchmark for our children to be present and there is the most valuable thing for them. I can do this with a smoke in my hand or I can do this free honestly and with love. As a Beatle once said All things must pass this I have held onto throughout my life when it gets too much and unbearable I can do this and find myself in the process of who I truly am. Keep it up and know that we are in your corner. Thank for sharing and being so honest it is a rare thing indeed.
  • WhiteWillow June 15, 2016 | 16:21
    Having read through everyone's posts here, it makes me proud to be part of such an intelligent, honest and profound group of people. How amazing you all are. People come into our lives, some stay for a lifetime, some for a few years and others only fleetingly but they are all sent to us to teach us the lessons we have to learn. Best to be philosophical about this. Thank them, love them and move on as they will do the same.
  • butthead, South Western Sydney June 15, 2016 | 16:33
    Hi guys, loved the coffee and smokes, all day if I could. Now my wife has a draw full of tea. Chamomile, Green, Herbal, Orange and Cinnamon , Turmeric Blend etc. Helps with getting of coffee and breaks association with smoking. Some are quite good and beneficial.Even feels like you are rewarding and heeling your body after all the bad stuff we put in. Anyway love all you and your posts. This is how humanity should be treating each other 😃 with care and support.
  • Papa1, South Western Sydney June 19, 2016 | 8:37
    Stay strong you are already feeling better with your changes by the time you have dealt with all your issues you will be a new you and a better you go for you can do it :)

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