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Hi everyone. I'm new here and have my quit date set for two days from now. I'm not a big public sharer, but I suspect that has been one of the barriers to my quitting: trying to do it all on my own. I have smoked for 20+ years. At my "worst" it was 20 ciggies a day. Now it is between 3-7. I hate it. I have attempted quitting more times than I can count - and always with nico. replacement. Two times I managed to quit for 4 weeks, once for 3 months. I felt physically better - but in some ways mentally much worse - which is always what triggers the relapse. I feel like it is killing me, and mostly I have given up hope of being able to do it. It feels like a constant battle and I have lost hope of ending my relationship with ciggies. I feel like the partner who is too frightened to leave a violent relationship. The only thing I think is to try and do things differently: in the past I have been too proud to use a forum like this, or a service like quitline. I have only sought help a few times before. Once was about 15 years ago, and my GP prescribed Zyban which gave me frightening hallucinations. The other time I asked for help was to try hypnosis (on two different occasions). I spent a lot of money but had the wrong expectations: I just wanted to be able to "stop" and thought it would be like being on one of those Paul McKenna shows where I would turn into a chicken repulsed by ciggies. I didn't realise it was all a bit more indirect than that. Neither of these helped, so I stopped asking for help. I hope that by putting my hat in the ring here I can learn a lot from others and not feel so alone as I try - yet again - to face this process.
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