Stories & experiences


Doing things differently

Posted in Getting started 05 May 2016

Hi everyone. I'm new here and have my quit date set for two days from now. I'm not a big public sharer, but I suspect that has been one of the barriers to my quitting: trying to do it all on my own. I have smoked for 20+ years. At my "worst" it was 20 ciggies a day. Now it is between 3-7. I hate it. I have attempted quitting more times than I can count - and always with nico. replacement. Two times I managed to quit for 4 weeks, once for 3 months. I felt physically better - but in some ways mentally much worse - which is always what triggers the relapse. I feel like it is killing me, and mostly I have given up hope of being able to do it. It feels like a constant battle and I have lost hope of ending my relationship with ciggies. I feel like the partner who is too frightened to leave a violent relationship. The only thing I think is to try and do things differently: in the past I have been too proud to use a forum like this, or a service like quitline. I have only sought help a few times before. Once was about 15 years ago, and my GP prescribed Zyban which gave me frightening hallucinations. The other time I asked for help was to try hypnosis (on two different occasions). I spent a lot of money but had the wrong expectations: I just wanted to be able to "stop" and thought it would be like being on one of those Paul McKenna shows where I would turn into a chicken repulsed by ciggies. I didn't realise it was all a bit more indirect than that. Neither of these helped, so I stopped asking for help. I hope that by putting my hat in the ring here I can learn a lot from others and not feel so alone as I try - yet again - to face this process.

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  • storm, Murrumbidgee May 05, 2016 | 20:32
    Welcome CharlieChips, I am 51 days smoke free my best ever attempt. All I can suggest to you is take one day, hour, or minute at a time. Use whatever you need to assist you in your attempt, use this forum to vent or read and remember everyone here understands the battle you are about to undertake. Keep focused and you will succeed one day at a time Good luck
  • Lia May 05, 2016 | 20:36
    This is the best help site, ever. My 45 year habit ended when I read one amazing post on this site. Turned my life around. Smoke free for 341 days...
  • IC May 05, 2016 | 20:39
    I wrote this the other night ,

    I told him the truth shall set you free bringing this stuff out in to the light is how to heal, keeping it hidden is what it wants that's how it gains power.

    I explained we need to heal physically emotionally and spiritually from this sickness and it is a sickness of the mind and body I am sure, its my mind that made me smoke and my body that wanted more, so I take away the physical craving after how long a week?

    its emotionally, its my mind that wants to smoke, so for me that means my mind is sick , and learning to heal my mind by sharing how I feel , understanding there's other ways to think , learning to be nice to myself, not beating myself up, when you think about it its no different than cutting or taking heroin, its a sign something's not right inside.

    humans are funny creatures we avoid pain at all costs and most of the things we use to avoid pain cause more pain in the long term so we have to deal with that then what we were covering up.

    my story is long like everyone's and wont go to far in to it here, but there is abuse of several kinds and other issues that smoking helped me not deal with, I know what most of them are and stopping smoking is another level of healing for me, I have had other addictions I have stopped through the years and smoking is the last real bad one to go, and its not easy but it is doable and I have to get honest, doesn't have to be here, I have used lifeline in the past to talk about my stuff, consolers, friends who will understand and not shame me more and they are usually people who have done some of their own healing work.

    so for the above reasons if we and I say we as in everyone who has ever smoked doesn't deal with this stuff to some degree they will smoke again and that's why we see so many fail or are not able to quit because they think smoking is the problem , when really its just a symptom of other things.

    I know I bash on about this and for me I have to learn a new way of dealing with life now and my past, and for the most part I need some help, being here, lifeline, quitline, consoler etc.. its not weak to say I need help or don't have all the answers it takes courage and strength and most of all trust.
  • Anne55, Southern NSW May 05, 2016 | 21:10
    Putting your hat in the ring is the best thing you will ever do.
    This is the only place that anyone understands your struggles.
    You are not alone. I think that has helped me so much.
    Read posts of people who have done this, there are so many.
    Just do it, one minute/ one hour/ one day at a time.
  • manchild May 05, 2016 | 22:46
    Quit cold turkey on the 2nd of March this year. Thats 64 days ago. I discovered over time I am a nicotine addict, so I've quit nicotine in all forms. I never thought that I would be able to quit like this after smoking for so long (over 30 years) and so hard (almost 2 packs a day)
    In the last few days I've learned something new about my addiction. It has to do with guilt. I did not know that I've been hating myself for so long for not quitting the cigarettes. Basically, the guilt was covered up by just having another cigarette and telling people I like to smoke and its none of their business.
    If I can do it, then anyone can do it!

    IC is dead right. First you must simply quit smoking /nicotene for a few days to get it out of your system. Then comes the beginning of reprogramming your mind because it is your mind that wants you to light up. Its not natural to light up and smoke but we've brainwashed ourselves to believe this is so, so we have to fight one day at a time.

    Anything can happen in our lives but I want to win this time. I don't want to go back to smoking again, so I really want to learn to unlearn smoking. That sounds hard doesn't it? Well, its harder to continue smoking, to continue justifying to myself why I should smoke, to continue living with the guilt, the procrastination and the fact that smoking seriously drains me of energy, not to mention the other ways I am putting myself at a disadvantage.

    I really feel for anyone who finds it hard because of the addiction screaming and the fear that they simply can't go through withdrawal and live without cigarettes. I know how this feels so I'm not sitting here high and mighty giving advice. I know what its like to be down in the dumps with smoking but truly the fact is we can! We have it within ourselves to do it. We just need to put down that cigarette and not take a puff. If I can do it, so can others!
  • IC May 05, 2016 | 23:17
    I tell I feel like sh$t tonight nothing is working I am sick got bugga all money and I want a smoke , but you know what that would be the nail in the coffin may as well go neck myself, so yeah its gunna get worse before it gets better and we do what we have to too stay smoke free just for today !!

    its an old idea that doesn't work it fixes nothing !!

  • CharlieChips May 06, 2016 | 4:43
    Have woken up this morning to read all these wonderful replies. Thank you. I relate to all of this. I am tempted to write in response to all the things you have said...but the truth is right now I am a mess so feel that the best course of action here is just to shut up and take in everything you have all said. Thank you for getting exactly where I am at.

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