So 2 months ago i decided to really try to stop smoking, i was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Each cigarette was draining away my energy, money and most importantly my confidence. the voice in my head that was telling me i was weak and useless got louder every day. After a horrible two years of upheavel in my personal life I needed a change.Cigarettes were the constant in my life through all the sh*t and to be honest i needed everyone of those smokes to stop me killing myself ( i don't say that lightly) I have smoked for over 30 years with "baby breaks". and i felt in order to let go of this really crap period in my life that i had shown in other areas how strong i could be,i just needed to let go of the associations with it and smoking. SO...i found myself an 8 week 10k running plan,up to that i had done a bit of 5k running and a tiathlon..all the time smoking. This time was different. i signed up for a Cancer charity Mo-vember run,joined a running forum,found a plan and focused. Some days i would run and want a ciggarette afterwards because it hadn't gone so well(insane) I realised in order to improve i would have to give up completely ,i made a deal,i wouldn't smoke until after the race(again,insane) Well yesterday was the race, i ran it non stop in just over an hour! NO WAY could i have done it if i'd continued to smoke, and guess what I don't want to,not that i'd say I won't ever again,you never know. But the thing that has been so important in this is how much help i have gotton from this site, i like many others had a slip up early days(a gift) It really is a day at a time but what i've learnt is tha if you have a plan,financial ,health or otherwise it really helps you focus, Thanks to all y buddies on the site. S x
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