Stories & experiences

South Eastern Sydney

No use longing for something you can't have

Posted in Quit experiences 30 Sep 2015

This is what I have just told myself. I cannot give in so I cannot pine for it. There is a fight between the determination to stay on track and the feeling that it would be so very easy just to slip back for a moment. A friend has been over for dinner and we have had a couple of glasses of wine and it was all pleasant. But the moment she left, I looked out the window and thought 'a two minute walk and I could have a cigarette'. I knew even when that crossed my mind that I would NOT do it but it did make me realise that the temptation to have one remains a clear and present danger. For many reasons, I don't think I will succumb but I do think it is important to note that this journey we are on requires a fighting spirit at nearly every step.

All that said, after two extremely difficult days, today has been without craving and has been easier. It's always reassuring to know that I can check in here.

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  • penelopejane October 01, 2015 | 0:20
    Dear Hope, It is inspiring to me that you didn't take your tempting thoughts seriously and act on them. I have yet to have a free day yet. All of my counsellors want me to wean myself. I am currently smoking about four a day. Today I tried to stop. I acheived a six hour break. I am trying to pack it in at night. I am persistant. I haven't quit quitting. I need to get some sleep tonight. My brain is overactive. I think I'll make a milo. Keep resisting those
    thoughts to light up. You are fantastic. You must have such a valuable new lifestyle by now. If the wine ever makes you want to smoke - put down the wine too. It is a minor sacrifice to make. Good on you.
  • Lia October 01, 2015 | 8:50
    Hi Hope. Stopping smoking has to be a conscious effort . You are well aware of this. Those cravings! I am up to day 125 without any slip ups. That does not mean it is now an easy road. That is about 2500 cigarettes not smoked! Surely a reason to celebrate. But I know what caving in to that mischievous craving ,"Margaret Thatcher", (the name of my craving) would mean. That one moment of caving in would see me back where I was 126 days ago. That would mean a massive pay cut... By all means celebrate with a wine but no cigarette. If you desperately need an extra reward, go buy yourself something with that pay rise.
  • DaveWA October 01, 2015 | 10:14
    I agree - it seems like the thought is always there.. hidden, but easily becomes a clear and present danger, and 18 days in, last night was the first time I actually thought about "just one", but chatted with my wife and had a glass of Pepsi and a bag of chips, put on a movie and resisted... I had a hard day at work, and had to make some big decisions at home with the kids, so cracked a few beers to relax..alcohol def brings out the smokey demon in me..nice to be able to resist, but need to stay smart and aware.. so, made it to day 18 full smoke free..

    It always pays to resist, as the guilt of smoking would make me think that I was bad, and messed up the day, so may as well smoke, and the pack lasts 2 days, so just finish the pack, and Bang!, you're a smoker again.. that easy - I have done it many times and aware of the danger now..

    Good on everyone resisting and sharing experiences - it makes me aware that this thing is similar for everyone - its a worthwhile struggle..
  • nodrah October 01, 2015 | 12:47
    yes, went to the pub last night and after about 4 drinks could have quite easily lit up a demon stick no probs at all but kept on saying youre an idiot don't be stupid and before I knew it I was on my way home smoke free......definitely a lot harder after a refreshment or 4:)
  • Nannette, Hunter New England October 01, 2015 | 22:19
    Hi Fullofhope, I reckon that Leprachaun that has been sitting on your shoulder and whispering in your ear has been doing a top job. When I read your post I just thought he has got your back and I don't reckon he will let a dart near you. Your words are full of magic Irish wisdom and fighting spirit, so keep him on the job because you are going great. Very inspirational indeed. Well Done xxxx

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