Stories & experiences

South Eastern Sydney

Day 29

Posted in Quit experiences 21 Sep 2015

Back at work and glad the wretched weekend is over. I find the weekends the most challenging as they are less structured and there are so many memories lurking in every corner. On Saturday I simply wept all morning. There was no particular reason but I have been on the verge of tears or crying for the last five days. What helped was going for long walks, meditating using the Headspace app and getting a couple of chores done that I had put off for about a year (or two). Oh .. and laughing with friends about how ridiculous I am is good for the soul.

One of the things I have realized is that I have to be with people. I am absolutely fine if I am with other people but the times when I am on my own are when that wily, old craving finds its way into my head. I know if I continue to resist I will get better at resisting (I already am) and there will be less to resist. I just respect the fight of my opponent because it is fierce and doesn't give up easily.

If all of this sounds miserable then I am misrepresenting the situation. There are loads of time when I feel carefree and relaxed and when I am so glad I am not spending a fortune to remain a social pariah. Most of the time I can observe this battle against addiction with a great deal of interest and curiosity. It's as though I am outside my body and I can't quite believe that I am one of the contenders in the ring - and that I am winning. However, there are those moments which are just plain crap and in those moments I am fully inside my body.

Still, it is pretty great to be approaching a calendar month and I am quite sure that the support on this site is the best weapon I have in the battle.

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  • Lizzie 1, Western NSW September 21, 2015 | 16:02
    Wow 29 days ! That's fantastic
  • shasha September 21, 2015 | 17:37
    I think that is such a truthful post,I agree totally,it is hard but even after a week in feeling the benefits.Thank you for your words last week along with others on the site,got me through.Thought id slip up yesterday but I flexed that willpower muscle like I do when I'm pushing a run and I felt so good when I didn't smoke x😊
  • Nannette, Hunter New England September 23, 2015 | 22:48
    I have to hand it to you Fullofhope, you have been soooo STRONG on this journey. From your posts you have had some very challenging days but you have pulled through it. I like what you said in one of your posts that the want not to have one is stronger than the want for one. I keep thinking to myself that there is no way I want to start smoking again and have to do quit again . As we know quitting is a tough ride.looking forward to your continued posts xx

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