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It is just shy of Day 23 and I have not slept properly for a couple of nights and when I put on my usual trousers this morning they were way too tight. Couldn't the angel of rewarding those who give up a nasty habit at least make us feel fantastic about ourselves? That would be too easy, I suppose, and we would have all given up years ago.
Today should not have been tough but it was. Dad called first thing to say mum was not well and was struggling to breathe. The first thing I thought was 'I need a cigarette'. Then there was a tricky and stressful work situation which, in any other month in the last 35 years would have justified many ciggies to calm down. And then a work dinner - three and a half hours of smiling politely.
But I haven't given in and the reason is because I just tell myself "Today I cannot give in". Am pretty sure the rest of the week will be less challenging. I haven't been meditating and have to get back to that ASAP. I am figuring if we can meet these daily challenges we are going to conquer this beastly habit in the end.
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