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Today is my 22nd day without a cigarette and I am feeling slightly chuffed that I am entering Week 4 of the ordeal/journey/new life. I remember being buoyed by a sense of enthusiasm in the first few days and thought that those were going to be the very worst. Huh! I had a shocker only three days ago and really did think that I would go crazy and that my life was over. But I went to bed and have felt so much better these last three days. These ups and downs are so unpredictable but if we know that the tide turns when we are having a bad day, then we can approach it more rationally.
I have also felt a curious mixture of joy and sadness. I feel joy that I have found freedom from that horrible addiction and am no longer in prison. But I also feel sad about the loss of a companion. I was booking something for a holiday in December and I thought 'Oh no ... that's not going to be any fun ... I won't have my ciggies with me'. Then I thought of all the people who have tackled this addiction and have come out the other side - and how much I want to be one of them.
There is certainly not a lot of smooth sailing at the moment ...
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