Stories & experiences

South Eastern Sydney

Day 18

Posted in Quit experiences 10 Sep 2015

I am glad I have been on this site and checking in regularly because I learned that this third week can be pretty tricky. I have found it so but continue to remain smoke-free. I think in the very beginning we are charged with the enthusiasm of our decision and are ready to fight the good fight. After a couple of weeks (and weeks which I must say I have not coughed at all) I think I have started to ask myself 'Why exactly have I chosen to put myself through this particular torture?'. There is a dull background answer which says 'Because you wanted and needed to' but there is also another louder answer which says 'Yeah ... you can pop up the road and end all of this anxiety'. I just have to keep on shutting down that loud voice and do my best to ignore it. Today, I have over compensated with eating and distraction but I figure that is a reasonably small price to pay for a rough part of the road. This is a game of cat and mouse.

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  • shasha September 11, 2015 | 0:19
    SO TRUE! I identify with the relief of handing over the cash for ciggies and the accompanying feeling of disappointment that ALWAYS follows. I look at your 18 days and all your name suggests it gives me hope. Thanks for your post.
  • believe September 11, 2015 | 6:20
    your a hero of your life.. giving space for your future for better health and look good.. i adore you..keep it going buddy we are with u.. love Asif
  • Lizzie 1, Western NSW September 11, 2015 | 7:30
    Hi Fullofhope
    Your doing an amazing thing, everyday is a celebration without filthy cigarettes.
    It is that horrible voice in our heads trying to get us to believe we need to smoke , that makes it so difficult but not impossible!!
    I ate heaps too much but ,like you thought it a small price to pay. Now at day 54 ... Have lost some kgs and yesterday purchased a treadmill.
    Look out world here we come :-D
  • Bronte, Mid North Coast September 11, 2015 | 10:14
    You are quite right, the first weeks are full wanting, missing etc but also much determination and anger at the cigarettes then days go by and your brain does try to trick you. It's trying to suck you back in & win you over - it will tell you just about anything to get you back! You've often got a constant argument with yourself going on in your head back and forth. Yes, it would be easy to pop up the road - ahhh relief. But...then what...your back where you started....I discovered once again just yesterday - I said to myself ahhh what a relief it is not to have to smoke, I find relief in everything without having to smoke actually. I can greet the kids home from school without racing to brush my teeth and wash my hands so I don't stink when they arrive. I'm not hiding out the back for 5 minutes while they're eating their dinner, I can sit down and talk and eat with them! The list goes on, it's such a happier existence! Good on you Fullofhope, keep up the good work.
  • Fullofhope, South Eastern Sydney September 11, 2015 | 16:28
    Thanks all for your comments. A always, they are incredibly supportive and bolster my determination. This internal battle is unbelievable but quite funny when you can sit outside of it and look at it for what it is. One good thing that has happened is that I seem to be sleeping better. Long may that last.
  • Nannette, Hunter New England September 11, 2015 | 16:47
    Hi Fullofhope, stay with us, I'm nominating you for team captain on team determined, because I've got to hand it too you even when you are having severe cravings you remain with us. You might have a little leprechaun sitting on you shoulder bringing you lots of luck on this journey or is he sitting on your shoulder ready to whack you on the head if you think about a dart. Tell him he is doing a good job.week three is a shocker in terms of persistent cravings you just make that little leprechaun Keep in your ear and do lots of dancing in the kitchen .xxxx
  • Fullofhope, South Eastern Sydney September 11, 2015 | 20:48
    Thanks Nannette, as always. It is encouragement such as yours which keeps me focussed and determined. I like the idea of a leprechaun on my shoulder. Unbelievably, a close friend of mine, just tonight, told me how a leprechaun helped her recently. I have never heard the word leprechaun mentioned twice in one day before (or even twice in one decade). Both of us liked the idea of those helpful spirits. I hope all is going well with you.

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