8 months....

Hi everyone, 

I hope everyone is doing well quitting. I have come quiet abit along the road now..... 8 months on. Glad I quit and wish that it happened sooner. Better still I wish I never started!!!! 

It is a tough tough road, but I keep treading on it. I not going to lie I do think of 'the one'  but have not caved yet..... I believe I won't, I am so stubborn, do not know if that is a good thing or a bad. I am kinda hard on myself . I still take it one day at a time. I will never forget that this had control over me for many many years. I never allow myself to get cocky. I am cautious , but I do celebrate in ways also. It has been a mad year for me , I learned so so much , realised I as a person need to put myself first and put much more value on me instead of others. It is exshausting , and you never get the same respect in return. I am hurt , I am sad , I feel many many things.... but I have learned , that is what I take from it all. I have found times where I truely believed that a smoke will help calm me down, make me into a more chilled out person to please others. But I then I remember , I am not that 16 year old anymore. I do not need to smoke to fit in, to help me feel part of something, or to belong. To deal with bullying, to cope. I do not need to stuff it all down puff after puff. I am stronger than I have been given credit for, I am healing in my own way.

I went for a long run the other day, it was on old moutain road where I live I climbed and climbed as high as I could go, my legs were killing me when I reached the top. I never looked back the whole way up, I waited until the climb was over. I took a deep breath and turned around to see the most wonderful view. I couldn't reach that if I smoked, I would have missed the beauty. I stayed a while and took it all in, deep breathing, nature can make you see further beyond your own limitations. I discovered that nice place and it was comforting. I will keep on climbing , I hope I make the year!!!! 

Thank you to all the huge support here.... keep going to everyone, never give up on quitting...most importantly never give on believing that you can beat this addiction... it does not matter how many times you try all that matters is that you do.