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So I succesfully quit smoking on the 26th December, as I had planned and thanks to the champix and fantastic support from my partner and his family I found the first few days were incredibly easy!! I hardly thought about smoking and when i had to think about it, like seeing someone smoking or going past the smoke shop or sitting outside in my favourite chair, I found it really easy to say to myself "thats disgusting" (probably not the most polite way of putting it but i can say what i want to myself right...) and just like that i could look at the smoking scenario through completely different eyes....
Now having said all that New years eve we had a friends round and of course they smoke.... To begin with I didnt think too much about it but once i had had a few drinks i caved and asked them if i could have a smoke.... it tasted bad and it gave me a head rush but i smoked the whole thing! MY partner was with me and i love that man so much!! I think he knew if he made a scene out of it i probably would have smoked a lot more. I know that smoking that night means that i havent been smoke free since my quit date.... But i had 4 cigarettes throughout the entire night. Woke up in the morning and didnt rush out to buy my own! Ha! Score for me!! I am still on the wagon and i am slightly more aware of my goals and i know that i cant let that little cigarette monster manipulate me. I AM A HAPPY NON SMOKER AND AM FEELING SO GOOD ABOUT THAT!
My partner left for work today and he wont be home for awhile and i thought that my first reaction would be to instantly rush out and buy cigarettes, because if he wasnt here how would he know whether or not i was smoking. But that was not the case. Today was the first day alone with my thoughts and i succeeded! I feel so proud of myself! Silly to say that out loud but i really do! I feel like i have broken through a barrier!
For everyone out there like me struggling to finally put that little nicotine monster to sleep I really do suggest champix! I have made so many attempts to quit and it really does help!! I have two weeks alone to prove to myself that i can do this! and I know i can!
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