Stories & experiences

Doing it for baby
Hunter New England

Life on the otherside.....

Posted in Hints and tips 01 Nov 2013

Last night was bad. I wanted a smoke, my husband tried to make light of it. I went outside and screamed, i screamed to the stars i ran around the block. The urge was gone. I rubbed my patch and thanked it for doing its job. That little square flesh colored thing and me have a weird relationship i know i couldnt do this without it but i hate it at the same time. That little square thing of nicotine it releases what i want out of my body into my body i can feel the nicotine leave the patch and enter my body, my arm tingles its in my blood.  

Today i ran into a friend, a friend i havent seen in about 2 weeks. She asks me if i had a lighter i say i dont smoke she laughs and says since when? 5 days i say i want to scream 5 days im so happy she laughs she has found he lighter and sparks up i watch as she breaths in the smoke it curls around her tounge. She ask how? I lift up my sleeve and show her the little flesh colored square she says I'm a cheat only cold turkey works that I am doing it all wrong she has a puff again and smokes comes out her nose. I look at her she looks sad, i can she it in her eyes like only people who have smoke knows her fingers are yellow, her teeth stained, and god she stinks. I want to give a cuddle tell her that when her time comes to quit she will be ready that the otherside of that cloud os smoke feels good, its clean fresh, people are happy. She looks at me again and says well your boring now laughs gives me a kiss and off she goes i can see the cig burning between her fingers as she walks away waving. I stand there and look at myself I am happy, i can smell my perfume from this morning it makes me smile, i smell my hands and my hair they smell clean. I smile and know this is it. This is my way and i am on the other side.

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  • Larch , Hunter New England November 01, 2013 | 14:18
    my otherside!
    I never realised my sense of smell was gone but the last week I have noticed it coming back - and been thankful I don't still work in the vet clinic!!!

    I can notice the yellow stain on my fingers has gone, I think my moustache is lighter (and yes I'm female!!)

    I wonder about teeth - do they get more discoloured when you stop or do you just notice the discolouration once you have stopped??? Someone on site mentioned a teeth whitening, and I might put that on my list too

    And Choosing Life, did you laugh when someone with a cigarette in their hand says only cold turkey works! hah! whatever works, works (my thought for the week!!)

    Yep - if we all look for the positives and help each other, apart from being healthier the world is a better place just from helping each other; well done all.....
  • choosing life , Hunter New England November 01, 2013 | 14:27
    Yes larch i too have noticed my teeth but I have been usinf Colgate whitening for a little while knowing i had set my quit date to start the process but i do know of one lady who quit and her teeth became loose something about the gums shrinking after she had stopped smoking fingers crossed that doesnt happen EERKKK!! and yes i though it was ironic somone puffing away telling me im a cheat. I like that matra whatever works works!! Thank you
  • converse November 01, 2013 | 23:50
    Hi Choosing life, great post!! you are in a very good place in your mind, your thinking is spot on, when you see others smoking it is like looking at yourself in the past, I love how you described how you accepted yourself and all the positives after your friend left, hair smells, teeth and that you were happy. Good for you!! It's a personal journey and unique experience, and a positive opportunity to face a few demons and win. Well done.
    My experience with the teeth thing is they were brownish yellow, it took about a week to two weeks for them to look better. It also did not feel counter productive brushing and smoking.
  • Nic succeed November 02, 2013 | 9:00
    Hi Choosing Life,
    Well done each day is an awesome achievement congrats on day 5. I am back today on day 1 and need to make it the last time. I do at 39 have those shrinking gums and bone receding, I have already lost 1 tooth. I start my treatment on Wednesday the 11th and can not be smoking as it reduces the benefits. I have really enjoyed reading your posts and will continue to follow and support your journey. Thanks for your encouraging words, this is it I am coming on the journey too!
  • choosing life , Hunter New England November 03, 2013 | 19:50
    Thanks guys! And let's do this journey together!!!

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