Stories & experiences

Mike O

Motivation when you r motivation is destroyed

Posted in Hints and tips 13 Jun 2022

My key motivation if you like to give up smoking was increased energy. I haven’t smoked for 3 weeks and have no intention of returning to smoking. However- my main motivation hasn’t transpired and isn’t true- i have less energy and I am exhausted.

I have projects to do at home- no energy.

I feel I want a reward for all this pain of stopping- I know well hey that’s life no one owes no one anything.

But I would like to take something positive from this time.

As an executor of my fathers will I received abuse from my family. I renovated my mothers house for 2 years post his death not even a thank you from my mother and yet more abuse from family members yet again.

I worked for the national health service in the U.K. during the Corona virus 1000 hours plus free overtime not even a thank you from my employer.

I am used to doing thinks for zero reward resentment or abuse.

Stopping smoking- I’d hoped there was at least some upside, some quick win, buzz, reason to take from it as a crumb of hope it is actually worthwhile?

Any motivation techniques from the group I’d love to hear.

At the moment it’s 😂indescribable.

Walking up a hill of sand it feels like only to feel you are in the same place or further behind when you started walking.

Should I treat iff if like and attack? Cover up until the beating stops. Then start the fight back?

What’s a winning tactic here?

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  • Slk June 13, 2022 | 13:21
    Your doing great..only good things to come from now You'll live longer now. Your not alone.
  • Mike O June 14, 2022 | 9:00
    Thanks SLK- good advice- I now think any negative effects post smoking cessation from now on In have other underlying causes so we shall see from here
  • Slk June 14, 2022 | 21:56
    I'm struggling right now..i want a cigarette really bad
  • Mike O June 15, 2022 | 6:02
    Why’s that SLK? How lint you been stopped?

    For me, right now if I were you raid the fridge, step outside breathe the air, make a hot drink- don’t think about smoking just think you now have no physical need for nicotine or a cigarette
  • Mike O June 15, 2022 | 6:03
    Let me know how you get on!🤞😀
  • Mike O June 15, 2022 | 6:33
    Let me know how you get on!🤞😀
  • Happiness June 15, 2022 | 7:09
    I am glad you are determined to stick with the program Mike, despite not finding any immediate gratification.

    You are probably in good health and don't experience the better breathing, heart rate and blood pressure as others might. Be thankful for good health, now and later on in your years. There cannot be a price put on good health!

    When our time and efforts are not acknowledged, we can feel let down. Now, on top of it there is no "reward" of having a cigarette, which would give us that jolt of dopamine which bolstered our mood. Doing things that give you pleasure , chocolate, lavender, hugs and kisses are examples of what can uplift your spirit and give you that jolt of dopamine.

    Reward yourself with other little pleasures for a smoke free day, and week and work towards something for yourself with the money saved over the long term.
    It is so definitely worth it! It takes time to adjust to the change in our routine, our bodies and in our minds.
    This time around, I embraced the quit, the change , and found a forum for support. The forum and the mindset made all the difference for me. While most seem to have some difficulties for a time, others like myself can find it much easier to quit smoking than they had expected.

    You are doing great! Give yourself more credit for doing what millions only wish they had the courage to do. Remember that smoking was not a lifetime choice, only a lifetime addiction if we did not believe in our power to change that. We do have the power. Kudos to you and all the others here doing your best to make choices for the better. I have no doubt that you will succeed with your determination. The mindset just makes it easier. I hope this phase of fatique and disappointment passes quickly. Remember that it does get better and we are all rooting for you.
  • Mike O June 15, 2022 | 8:54
    Hi Happiness

    Many thanks for your wise words and support. I think the portal is great peer support and advice from those in the know and is great for those who live alone or don’t have a support network that knows or cares about the individuals quit attempt, or can empathise on what it’s like to give up.

  • Mike O June 15, 2022 | 8:54
    Hi Happiness

    Many thanks for your wise words and support. I think the portal is great peer support and advice from those in the know and is great for those who live alone or don’t have a support network that knows or cares about the individuals quit attempt, or can empathise on what it’s like to give up.

  • Mike O June 15, 2022 | 8:59
    I’m trying to motivate to energise- if I succeed I will spill the beans and let you know 🤞😁
  • Slk June 15, 2022 | 12:24
    Its day 5..i have my ups n downs.. but yea..i really would like a smoke
  • Mike O June 16, 2022 | 3:11
    From now on in day 5 (that’s great) you hav no physical need to smoke .

    Keep going SLK.

    Yes you will feel ups downs anger tears cravings remember they are moving more to mental not physical cravings now- try to zone out or keep your mind moving read eat write sleep anything…

    Keep hanging in there and en I have noticed 4 weeks in is now easier

    Remember Not one puff ever- the at the way to surely restart

    Hang in there SLK!😀
  • Mike O June 16, 2022 | 3:13
    Keep reminding and telling yourself you have no physical need to smoke SLK and your willpower will prevail
  • Slk June 16, 2022 | 7:01
    Thanks Mike x
  • Mike O June 16, 2022 | 8:15
    Let us know how you fare😀🤞
  • Slk June 16, 2022 | 19:26
    Day 6..just taking it minute by minute tbh
  • Mike O June 17, 2022 | 7:08
    Best way just keep going SLK! I find it’s the best way for life in general!😂 Keep your mind on anything other- sleep tv food starring into face anything! I’ve had a few cravings today had a bit of a strange day managed to spill coffee into over myself 3 times amongst other things 😀one of those types of days but hey I still don’t expected to get hits & cravings but now I just say it’s only mental cravings Not physical, have come thus far it is getting better just keep going- day 6 one off a week- after tgat the time seems to pass quicker 😀hope you are okay 😀🤞?
  • Slk June 17, 2022 | 11:44
    I had a panic attack n cried haha..n all i do is I'll be worrying about dieting...cant win
  • Mike O June 18, 2022 | 6:25
    Day 7 cold Turkey that’s gotta feel good right SLK? Panic attacks tears rage your not alone just let them come and let them go let it all out it eases with every day!

    This will make you laugh my short term memory is now none existent- went into a shop today paid for two transactions and when paying for the second in under 2 mins had forgotten about the first had to ask the shop keeper if I’d paid😂

    I cannot stop eating either SLK if it’s any consolation I’m eating so much at times in the last 3 weeks i have to sleep it off😂 that is levelling off a bit now but hey my view is if I gain weight then irl lose it over time off when the smoking recovery is done one thing ag a time- I’d see the eating thing a positive sign your over the nicotine phase. I find to avoid weight gain but manage food cravings eating every hour. Ideally have prepped a salad a boiled egg pot of feta and olives anything like that pickled gherkin Or beetroot- prawns cheese anything- small amounts- only problem is I feel too tired to prep but just having stuff in helps. Let us know how you are doing SLK!😀

  • Slk June 18, 2022 | 17:16
    Day 8 cold turkey..just finished sooking bout 10 mins ago again trying to find another outlet instead of food but apart from alcohol there's not much that I can do that interests me..n I know what you mean bout the memory brain seems I'm not fully with it ..not used to this much oxygen getting round my body haha
  • Mike O June 18, 2022 | 22:02
    This will make you laugh SLK yesterday I was cooking and managed to set fire to a chopping board. 😂day before cooking I was using a knife for chopping and list it spent 5 mins looking for another knife- found it in its edge between the cooker hob grates in the end😂mind is all over the place.

    Cooking is a great leisure thing too I found, radio on and experiment offers some entertainment when you have the interest.

    I jump in the motor and go shopping most evenings places don’t normally go for food ingredients eg other supermarkets just 30mins changes the scene.

    I’m hoping to have the energy in the next couple of weeks to start swimming on an evening again- even 20-30 mins every other day and go from there will see how it goes!

    Yes giving up smoking does suck and blow but not in a good way. Hang on in there SLK it will only get better.

    Hope you are having a good weekend?😀
  • Slk June 19, 2022 | 4:47
    Haha all this extra oxygen in our brains making us a little loopy huh ..n a quiet weekend.. may be one Day soon I'll be able to start being social again after I master this quitting cigs stuff. My name's stacey by the way 😁
  • Mike O June 20, 2022 | 8:08
    Hey Stacey, how’s it going?

    You might be into something with the oxygen thing…I hear people who go high altitude where the oxygen is purer or more concentrated those not used to it feel tired, dazed, confused, foggy etc.

    It’s sensible getting to grips with not smoking before socialising resuming normal life. I ducked out of a mates bbq 10 days into my quit attempt as I felt it was too soon, too difficult to risk. I did however manage to meet a couple of old work friends for some drinks last night without any real temptation to smoke. Fair enough they don’t smoke but we were out in public where others do was all okay this time no real urges although before hand wasn’t sure what to expect.

    But do you know, I’ve known these guys 3 years and 18 months respectively and neither noticed I wasn’t smoking 😂 Never said a word.

    Let me know how your doing😁
  • Slk June 20, 2022 | 23:01
    I'm doing ok..not a bad day today..still hard tho..n did you let yoir friends know? That you had stopped smoking?
  • Mike O June 21, 2022 | 6:21
    Hi Stacey, I purposely didn’t tell anybody. See if they noticed but moreover so I don’t have to talk about it. I just find it easier. Not Dealing with questions etc. It’s amazing how many people don’t notice 😀Another friend of mine is on holiday and text me today to ask if I wanted any duty free tobacco. I said thanks for the offer but no- first person I’ve told & only because I had to. I’m 4 weeks in today and glad I’m given up. It is getting easier and normalising as a way of new life. Still an adjustment and not easy; and not seeing all those benefits yet they try to sell you to give up ‘ooh you’ll be fitter’ ‘ooh you’ll have more money’ I think those things are merit goods, your future self gets them 5 years down the line plus not now. I’m not major socialising still only long standing arrangements- giving up is still fresh and new in that sense for me so not pushing it. Mind like Swiss cheese still- spent 15 mins looking for a pair of shoes on Saturday- couldn’t remember where I put them found them in my gym bag😂

    How you getting on with it, settling down? Lessening or dampening side effects? How you feeling about it?

    Keep hanging in there Stacey!Doing great!😉
  • Slk June 21, 2022 | 19:57
    I think I'm ok but then I'm getting a little angry lately..your doing great to..really great
  • Mike O June 22, 2022 | 8:36
    Thank you Stacey - you feeling one minute yay all sorted any side effects of stopping now dissipating and I can manage them- next minute-they’re back? I have that!

    Getting angry too over strange things at strange times even over trivial things I then fester over- as I’m quite easy going & laid back I notice it’s out of character for me. If I pick up I’m doing it I rationalise it’s a side effect of stopping and dial it down. Irritability is a known side effect I supposed.

    As you advised I take it as it comes one day a a time, I think we are getting over the worst of the physical withdrawal it’s now just the mental habit and need.

    I m thinking I’ve stopped but haven’t quit that’s a long way off and the whole basket of stuff hunger forgetfulness, tiredness, getting angry, tears, What he ave you will continue on a cycle but lessen over tim (I hope 😂)

    How’s it going on your day Stacey? 😁
  • Slk June 22, 2022 | 22:53
    Gosh I hope to haha..n yea I just want a shocking..i just want a smoke..but I know I probably won't be able to do this again so if I have a cig I might aswell admit defeat n wait till I'm 50 n hanging off of an oxy tank...ive never been 12 days without a smoke for 26 years. N yea I'm still angry..n snappy.. n I don't know if im going to have another smoke again in my the thought of not having atleast one smoke.. ever again.. Is a little overwhelming to me atm..what if I had one smoke in say 1 year n I don't even like the taste nomore..oh god who am I kidding..Id f' n love it haha
  • Slk June 22, 2022 | 22:55
    It's the end of day 12..n it still feels like cigarettes are winning..
  • Mike O June 23, 2022 | 8:16
    You smoked for 26 years Stacey?

    Sounds like you’ve got a mantle on what to expect, and a mantra on your reasons for stopping.

    Smoking certainly being a mainstay and major factor in life ( it has been in mine) is hard to move away from and isn’t just a switch- the urge will push back.

    However now you have no physical need for nicotine or to smoke it’s all physiological which is tough still but you are equipped by the sounds of and your are taking it day by day which is great.

    12 days cold Turkey is awesome had either of us been told that a month ago today we’d be now 12 days plus no smoking, I’m sure we’d say - you know irl take that! Something great to build on!😀

    The crap we get told about the benefits of quitting life will be all roses in under a week or to is well meant but I think at least we are wise to this and dug in to see it out now🤞😀 I think/hope

  • Slk June 23, 2022 | 15:32
    Yea I would not have believed it..thats for sure..n yea 26 long did you smoke for?
  • Mike O June 24, 2022 | 8:20
    23 years Stacey….. it’s a long time!
  • Slk June 24, 2022 | 22:15
    Yep very long time
  • Mike O June 29, 2022 | 9:03
    Hi Stacey,

    How’s it going?😀

    18 days into quitting, how you feeling?

    You smoked for 26 years, young were you when you started?
  • Cuba June 30, 2022 | 6:22
    Hi Mike O, how are you going with your quit ? I hope you are going well. Your comment on my last story helped me. Thank you 🙏🙂
  • Cuba June 30, 2022 | 6:23
    Hi Mike O, how are you going with your quit ? I hope you are going well. Your comment on my last story helped me. Thank you 🙏🙂
  • Cuba June 30, 2022 | 6:23
    Hi Mike O, how are you going with your quit ? I hope you are going well. Your comment on my last story helped me. Thank you 🙏🙂
  • Mike O July 02, 2022 | 12:00
    Hi Cuba, the quit attempt is still going well thank you.

    Glad you found my comment on your post helpful.

    I’m approaching 6 week’s of smoke free. Now I’m not counting the days so much and losing track of is it 5 weeks or six or more- which is a good sign as shows it’s now starting to slide from view and I’m concentrating on other areas in life.

    My sleep is improving, I’m less tired but still prone to tiredness bouts. I’m still easily sidetracked but that’s lessening, concentration and forgetfulness still an issue but again lessening.

    I was using increased caffeine consumption and eating as a crutch to replace smoking. I’m now cutting down on the caffeine which helps with sleep irritability and feeling wired, and not eating 1,500 calories per day in nuts which helps with tiredness in not having a food coma.

    I regard myself as stopped not quit and would never regard myself as quit as temptation will always follow a former smoker potentially so I regard Not One Puff Ever NOPE as important to any quit attempts.

    Hope your own quit attempt Cuba is going well and keep us posted to how you are going with it 😀

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