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I have shared a number of stories on here about successfully quitting nicotine/ smoking. But tonight I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and someone offered me a cigarette. I know it was an excuse and I’m feeling bad.
Another part of my excuse at the time was in saying that sometimes I really miss it. But what is it that I’m missing about it so much that I bummed one after almost 5 months quit ?
I really don’t want to fall into this trap. Not again meaning the trap of the occasional cigarette. I know how this ends up.
Now I feel like I have to rethink everything. I was not as free as I thought. There was still the niggling desire to smoke in the back of my mind . But there’s no way I’m going to take it back up.
I’m just annoyed with myself but at the same time there is no point in beating myself up over it. I will look at it as a learning process and move forwards.
I have had so much trouble with ongoing cravings and I still have trouble seeing myself as a non smoker. There is nothing natural about the addiction but it just seems now like I can’t completely quit ! Anyway, any further thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. I know deep down that I’ve got it in me to stop entirely. I can move past even the strong cravings. The psychological side of the addiction is so hard. I know it is all in the mind and next time I get to this point I’m going to do something else, anything other than smoke.
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