Stories & experiences

yayme
South Western Sydney
2
Stories
23/01/2013
Joined

Ive got this far...

Posted in Hints and tips 23 Jan 2013
6 Comments

OK so here i am - 20 months & 16 days cigarette free! I did it!! I will NEVER EVER go back go that place of calming myself with a cigarette - its all myth. It doesnt calm you. Im 44 and have smoked since i was 14. 

Where do i start? I suffer severe deression and anxiety ( i refuse to be medicated). My mind works in the oddest of ways. I never gave myself a quit date - to me that was giving myself too high expectations..FOR ME ...that was not appropriate. I just knew that i would stop when it was time to stop. I didnt need the added stress of a date. Due to my depression and anxiety my Drs wanted to admit into hospital where i could be monitored as Champix were known to give side effects...due to family committments hospital was definately a no go zone...My teen kids were educated on the tablets and the possible side effects and they basically watched over me. Within the first few days my depression was almost non existant (amazing) however i never let my mind tell me that as i would have learnt to rely on these pills...i kept smoking and smoking wondering when they were going to work for the smoking part...I woke the monday morning ( the day before i had smoked 2 and a half packs of Winfield blue, i was a heavy smoker at the best of times but started to become anxious about giving up) So i woke up the monday grabbed my smokes out of my bag to headed to the kitchen to make my coffee ( coffee and smokes to start my day). I went out onto the verandah and looked at the smokes and thought " this is it - no more". I have not had one since that day before. I told myself repeatedly that i really didnt feel like one and it was all in my head, i drank my coffee but clutched that new unopened packet of smokes like there was no tomorrow..JUST INCASE!!. I waited and waited and waited for withdrawls to start , as odd as it sounds to many people i enjoy withdrawing as it shows a self achievement.  I often do certain food and coffee withdrawls so  i know how harsh withdrawing can be but i expected worse with cigarettes and braced myself. Not one withdrawl and it become a focal point between family and friends who were all encouraging and supporting me. We would all laugh about me "hanging to start withdrawing" or how let down i felt not withdrawing ( of course this was all in fun and added to the support i recieved) I carried those cigarettes with me everywhere for 2 whole weeks  to the toilet, shower, in the shops, driving...It was for me giving up something that i totally relied on to get me thru the day. I was scared for them to be out of my sight - they had been my "life line" for so many years and carried me through so much trauma. If i let go of them smokes my whole world was going to crash. After 3 weeks and feeling a little braver i gave that packet of cigarettes away with my lighter. :) I have also let myself  acknowledge wanting a smoke and when that little urge does arise i acknowledge it to who ever is around or just myself by saying " gee i feel like a smoke" as soon as i acknowledge it it disappears - because its all in the mind! That tiny little urge lasts the length of that sentence. Thats it - Gone! The first 2 weeks i did keep lollypops handy but this was because of the "hand to mouth habit" eating lolliops definately helped that. I also, from day one craved Cinnamon for unknown reasons - so i added a sprinkle of cinnamon to every coffee i had - i to this day believe that helped with the lack of withdrawls. Although i have no evidence to support that :) I will say i have kept off the smokes for many reasons the main one being i refuse to give the government any more of my money! Yes of course i do it for my health and for my kids - we all do it for that reason...but i needed to look at other excuses not to go back to them. I have always prided myself in my teeth and over the years i have let them go to - since quitting i have started on the journey to fix my teeth also ( most dentists refuse to do dental work now on smokers ). I will and honestly can say i do NOT feel any health benefits from quitting - Im waiting for those to kick in like i wated the withdrawls.  Everyone says " oh, you will feel so much better etc etc"...when??? I feel better mentally because i gave up...i achieved but thats it. I still get puffed, i still get that squeazy feel from my lungs ( although it is much less) pumpng the tar out and i still at times have that strong taste of tar coming out of my gums...HOWEVER, Im glad i have given up. The health benefits i will feel eventually.My depression is still there but no where as bad as it was...REMEMBER:Refuse to get sick or die over something that you have control over and refuse to give our Gov money to die... 

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6 Comments

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  • eric , Western NSW January 24, 2013 | 8:38
    i did a course of champix and stopped smoking after 3 days but the time was right for me to stop, i did not get any of the dreaded side effects people talk about and i was a real heavy smoker for 44 years health wise i feel great i have not had a smoke for 2 and a half years i never feel like i want a smoke, i turned 60 the other day well all the best to you, and it is good you have stopped.
  • Kerrie January 24, 2013 | 12:11
    Great Story, I am 4 weeks and four days off cigarettes. 3 days off the Lozenges looking for inspiration as the old 'its not that big a deal has kicked in again'. You have inspired me to keep going as it is a big deal health & money wise and as a personal challenge to beat the addiction. 36 years of smoking is enough.

    Thankyou for your story
  • yayme , South Western Sydney January 24, 2013 | 21:02
    Eric :) Well Done...That is awesome. 2 and a half years is a huge achvievement. Im glad you never suffered any of the side effects either. A very Happy Belated 60th.
    Kerrie :) 4 weeks and 4 days is also a huge achievement - you can do it, dont turn back. You are over the hardest part already - now its just old habit - dont let it get to you. Like i said when you have the urge, acknowledge the fact that you feel like one its ok to be honest with yourself and others...I truly believe being honest and open about it helps get you through.Again we all do it for health and money but find other things too that you maybe passionate about..Im super stubborn and i refuse to give the Gov my money - im very strong about that haha and if that is what keeps me going and off them - then so be it. Kerrie PLEASE dont give in.Dont give the gov your hard earned money - they know there is over 4000 chemicals in each cigarette, they know there is no law about what cigarette companies areallowed to add to the product, they know there is rat poison, paint thinnerand so much more in each stick and are they caring that you can buy them?No! So dont give them the satisfaction of letting them, let you, kill yourself.( i told you i was passionate about it lolol) Stand up for you and your body. You can do it. Tap back in anytime or if you want t exchange email addys let me know.
  • Mich1 , Western Sydney January 24, 2013 | 21:02
    You are an insparation, and have given me additional hope for my journey ahead
  • yayme , South Western Sydney January 24, 2013 | 21:04
    Eric :) Well Done...That is awesome. 2 and a half years is a huge achvievement. Im glad you never suffered any of the side effects either. A very Happy Belated 60th.
    Kerrie :) 4 weeks and 4 days is also a huge achievement - you can do it, dont turn back. You are over the hardest part already - now its just old habit - dont let it get to you. Like i said when you have the urge, acknowledge the fact that you feel like one its ok to be honest with yourself and others...I truly believe being honest and open about it helps get you through.Again we all do it for health and money but find other things too that you maybe passionate about..Im super stubborn and i refuse to give the Gov my money - im very strong about that haha and if that is what keeps me going and off them - then so be it. Kerrie PLEASE dont give in.Dont give the gov your hard earned money - they know there is over 4000 chemicals in each cigarette, they know there is no law about what cigarette companies areallowed to add to the product, they know there is rat poison, paint thinnerand so much more in each stick and are they caring that you can buy them?No! So dont give them the satisfaction of letting them, let you, kill yourself.( i told you i was passionate about it lolol) Stand up for you and your body. You can do it. Tap back in anytime or if you want t exchange email addys let me know.
  • yayme , South Western Sydney January 24, 2013 | 21:11
    Mich1 - You can do it! Dont let anyone tell you that you cant! Good luck and keep us posted.

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