Stories & experiences

Bej
9
Stories
31/12/2020
Joined

I fell off the wagon.

Posted in Reasons to quit 24 Nov 2021
7 Comments

HELP!! My dear team, I have been over 10 months quit, and STUPIDLY on the weekend I had some alcohol and smoked way too many cigarettes. Tonight my friend came over and I have 5 more.

I am not going to change my quit date because I am not going to smoke another cigarette. The shame is Immense, I never thought I would have to write this because I was going along so strong, no urges, no desire, and now BOOM! It’s all I can do not to want another one.

That’s the thing, you can smoke anytime, it’s not wanting to that is important. I forgot myself, and here I am, scrubbing my hands trying to get the smell out of my skin, looking at my young children and thinking how I have fallen off the wagon and I am not going to see them grow old.

To be honest, I don’t think the punishment helps in anyway shape or form, it just makes you think you can keep going with it because what does it matter now?

Well, I have fallen off the wagon, BUT as life goes on, so will my continued mantra. NOPE everyday, imagining that woman who smells amazing, is free from the dreaded weed, and will not be controlled.

I will come back here every week until I feel like the thoughts (which creep in every day since) have gone. And I will carry on being the non smoker I am, forgiving myself for the glitch and recognising that alcohol is a trigger and I am NOT ready for that either.

Also, I have no friends who will not gladly give me a smoke. So maybe not relying on them to assist me otherwise. They didn’t force it into my mouth let’s be honest.

For all those in my shoes, we have got this!! Take a deep breath, take back control and walk away!

I don’t need luck. I just need to re-focus.

Much love to everyone.

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7 Comments

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  • Happiness November 25, 2021 | 0:56
    Yes, focus and continue on with the knowledge that you can quit smoking. A set back and a price of more cravings, but you can get back on track. Have you read the book I recommend for all to read? It's FREE , so no excuses , yet many don't. Quitting smoking is free and reaps many rewards, yet people don't. The cravings you have now are due to the nicotine withdrawal that you still feel have substance. In three days these will start to subside if not disappeared, but the pysche took a hit in your self belief.

    You have 10 months under your belt. You are no longer afraid of what life is like as a non-smoker, in fact you prefer to be one.
    I have great faith in you. Believe in yourself and continue on this glorious road to freedom!
  • Bej November 25, 2021 | 6:33
    What is the book happiness? I can’t find it in my comments? Day one, and you are RIGHT. Let’s get to day three, then it will be 10 months again. :)
  • NOPE-2021 November 25, 2021 | 12:22
    Don't be too hard on yourself Bej. It happens. You get up, dust yourself off and continue where you left off. That's all. You know what you did, you feel bad about it, but you know what to do to feel better (and,... BETTER!!).

    You have a new desire. Just continue to get your freedom back. You can do this.

    Sometimes when we walk to freedom, we fall, but then for those that succeed, they get up and RUN to freedom! YOU are going to run Bej and get to that freedom. Continue where you left off. Stay positive, Stay focused. And stay smoke free. N.O.P.E. (Not One Puff Ever) (and that means EVER!). You got this!
  • Happiness November 26, 2021 | 1:09
    Allan Carr ........great insight and makes you think, understand and WANT to quit smoking. Makes you BELIEVE that you CAN! Millions have. Enjoy the book and a life of freedom and pride!

    http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf
  • Bej November 26, 2021 | 22:00
    Thanks Happiness.
    Thanks NOPE! It’s all going terribly smoothly again, two wonderful days down, the rest of my life to go. NOPE my mantra, Alan Carr, you wonderful people and me my other motivation.
    I can’t take back what’s happened, but I can never let it happen again.

    Thanks again so much.
  • NOPE-2021 November 27, 2021 | 1:45
    Yahoo Bej!!!! What a GREAT positive attitude!!! Yes, stay motivated and be proud. At least you did not continue to smoke. You are very smart to put those smoke days in your past and continue with your future. You are on the road again more ready than ever!!! You got this for sure!!! Have a good smoke-less day!!!
  • Robn November 27, 2021 | 21:42
    Hi Bej, do not beat yourself up, we have all slipped up.....you have a wonderful outlook and you are back in the drivers seat. Keep going and just remember we can never ever have just one.....
    You can and will move on from this......be proud and strong

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