Stories & experiences

Istaysee
6
Stories
25/04/2020
Joined

This time feels different

Posted in Quit experiences 28 Jul 2021
5 Comments

I always logon to this site and read the experiences and advice from other quitters. It’s been very helpful having this site available and as I review my previous stories - 4 in total about slipping up, I feel foolish about posting again. Truth is, I tried to quit about 100’times, not 4.

But this time is different. I am 4 days quit and staying strong and not really paying too much attention to the pangs as they hit throughout the day. This time definitely feels different.

Background to my story. I smoked for 13 years from the age of 16. Quit for 9 years and decided I was strong enough to have a ‘fun’ cigarette at a wedding with my husband (who also quit for 9 years). I was immediately addicted again. One packet a month turned quickly into one packet twice a week, then every second day. We have now been smoking every day since for 2 years.

Since then a close family member was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. Heavy smoker. Even the guilt of smoking and watching their journey didn’t get me to stop. The anxiety and worry involved in smoking has lead me to being depressed and unhappy with myself. I felt like a total failure. I have been hiding from my young kids and smoking. No one but my husband knows we smoke. No social smoking, just a big secret as we were embarrassed.

But this time feels different, I’m solid on the decision and I’m not doubting it at all. I feel proud and happier. I know there may be hard days ahead, I do sometimes feel lost throughout the day. I work from home and find it isolating and more difficult to keep distracted.

Anyway, I wanted to share my thoughts for the day. I will never have another puff - I have learnt my lesson, even after 9 years quit. That one smoke triggered my addition and it’s frightening how powerful it can be!!!!

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5 Comments

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  • Happiness July 29, 2021 | 6:42
    Hopefully others will heed the warning and realize just how powerful nicotine can be NOPE, not even one Puff!

    I hope you will check in with us even after quitting smoking this time around to reinforce that mantra. You can do this, just as you did before. Find the desire and simply make up your mind that nicotine will no longer rule your day. Think of the money wasted by the both of you and get Mad. You are young yet and can make up for the time and money wasted. You can be an incentive for hubby to quit too. Regardless whether he does or not, you do it for YOU. Never give up, you can and will do it. This is not just another attempt, this is it!
  • Percy Verence July 29, 2021 | 8:28
    I can relate to everything you're saying. I'll never understand why I persist in doing something that causes me anxiety and makes me feel worthless - it's MY hand that puts the cigarettes in my mouth - how can I keep repeating an action against my own wishes?

    Tomorrow is my Quit Day. I can't count how many times I've tried to stop over three decades - my biggest fear is the fear of failure.

    Stay strong, Istaysee - if it 'feels different' this time, this could be the start of a new life as a non-smoker. Good luck and best wishes.
  • Robn July 29, 2021 | 9:31
    Hi, just something to think on when you feel like a failure because your quit wasn’t successful......or you relapsed. No one who tries to better their life by making changes is a failure. You are a winner just by trying...isn’t that what we instill in our children? Being a failure is when you won’t even try, won’t even have a go.
    So you are already a winner, keep that thought close. Stay strong and focused
  • Leeann , Central Coast July 29, 2021 | 19:26
    Hi Istaysee, I hear you loud and clear. Ive quit that many times that its embarrassing. But its more embarrassing to stay smoking really isnt it. I also hide it from extended family and work. I too have just woke up from the haze and I am day 9 going strong. I felt too embarrassed to post as ive crumbled too many times to count. But nope is right and here I'm back again head held high and we can hold our heads high as we are choosing to fight for the freedom from allowing and accepting defeat. We can win this battle, we just need to make that want to be free stronger. The rewards as we both know are endless. Stay strong and nope is right, there is no such thing as just 1 smoke🤍
  • Happiness July 30, 2021 | 5:21
    We have some fighters among us. Those who keep fighting will win in the end. It is a learning curve, and I admire those who don't give up. I found choosing to stop smoking easy, but I did rebound from a stroke of left side paralysis and lost 40 pounds since. So I guess that is also fighting for how you choose to live.
    Challenges are a part of life. We can learn and win. Just NEVER give up!

    Someone wrote that they don't like the term Giving Up Smoking but choose to stop smoking. I like that. We give up nothing when we stop (lose)smoking, but gain so much more. (win)
    CHOOSE how you want to live your life.

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