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Day 12 lol. I honestly didn't think I was going to make it this far. I have made a few changes since my last post, I am returning back to my normal daily routines, such as chores and outside activities. I am still not tracking my food intake, allowing myself to pretty much eat whatever I want. My plan is at my 21 day mark of quitting I will return back to the gym and start eating right again. I feel a sense of relief that I'm only focusing on quitting smoking, and not my diet, and regardless if its really making a difference is irrelevant, because I feel that allowing myself to only stress about not smoking is working.
My behavior is all over the place. I'm starting to feel bi-polar. It seems I go from happy to mad to sad to happy. I snap at my wife on occasion, then I take a few deep breathes and try to get past the anxiety. Then we talk about it, 90% of the time I'm in the wrong and apologize.
When I made it through the first few days it was such a struggle, but there was that sense of accomplishment, "I made it 1 day! I made it 2 Days!" and that was equally met with acknowledgement from my wife and friends about understanding the immense struggles I was getting through. But now I find myself at a weird spot in quitting, the excitement of "quitting" is kind of dying out. Like its no longer a new exciting thing. And even though that is dying out, its still a struggle. Its nice to say that the urges don't feel as frequent, and its does genuinely feel like its getting easier, I still find myself craving cigarettes from time to time through out the day, and my concentration at work and home still waivers considerably.
The biggest factor pushing me now is the 11 days that have passed without smoking. Thinking about that strengthens my resolve when the mental withdraws hit. Another really nice thing I think about is that when I put on my mask when I go outside, I'm no longer met with the smell of stale cigarettes.
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