Stories & experiences


feeling strangely tearful

Posted in Getting started 10 Feb 2021

I stopped smoking 20 days ago and it's been a bit of an emotional roller coaster since then. I find myself bursting in to tears every now and then for no reason that I can think of. I don't feel tempted to smoke, but I am strongly aware of missing something. I feel adrift, restless, disconnected and also most things feel kind of meaningless and pleasure less. To be honest, I think I'm either getting depressed or becoming aware of an underlying depression that I was covering up with all the smoking. It's giving me a strong urge to just upend everything and quit my job, sell my house and buy a caravan and go travelling. It's like stopping smoking has cut away my anchor. I am hoping that this too will pass.

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  • Happiness February 10, 2021 | 13:05
    What you seem to be experiencing is the feeling of groundedness. Nicotine is a drug that you became dependent on. While it did nothing but relieve the craving or discomfort that it itself caused, we were slaves to feed it on demand about every 40 minutes to an hour. Funny how it never woke us as babies do. We don't miss it when we sleep. Only when awake. That is because part is psychological. You don't feel like yourself because you are not getting a jolt or quick delivery of nicotine that the tobacco companies competed for. This quick hit of dopamine made you feel good and of course stopped that craving.
    What someone smoke. They enjoy the first couple of puffs and forget that they are even smoking. How many mindless smokes have we had in our lifetime. We did not particularly enjoy it as we were told by the manufacturers. We were addicted to the nicotine and the jolt of dopamine. Replace the dopamine with other good feelings, hugs, love, chocolate, lavender and even learning. Exercise is a great one too and it will help relieve any stress that you may kept pent up.

    Above all think positive and embrace the quit as something you WANT to do. Why wouldn't you? Can you think of anything else that saves you money, restores health, gives you more time and freedom and doesn't cost a dime. The pride you will feel and the confidence you will gain when completing this challenge goes on to all aspects of your life. Enjoy your quit!
  • Time2Bfree February 10, 2021 | 13:33
    Thanks Happiness. Strangely I don't want to smoke. I feel quite clear about that and about this being something I want to do. Much more clear than I thought I would. I think I was very ready to quit this time. I want to not experience the cravings, or to be managing them better, and I want to not feel so restless and depressed, but I don't want to smoke. I do realise that all of this stuff I am experiencing is normal, and to some extent unavoidable, so it's just a matter of getting through and believing that it will get better as time passes. But it's weird and hard. I'm looking forward to feeling more positive. I think the advice to enjoy my quit is good - it's a positive reframe to noticing the experience as a journey and a 'moving through' to the ultimate destination of being unshackled and to pat myself on the back for ticking off the milestones.
  • softly40 , Mid North Coast February 11, 2021 | 8:04
    Welcome Time2bfree, It appears that you are grieving the loss of something, like a friend, so the association of loosing a friend is quite strong, and yes you will feel sad at times. What you need to think about is getting over the idea that the cigarette was your companion, the Nicotine drug needs to be thought of as dangerous to your body and mind, not the other way around.

    As to how you approach this is up to you. The main thing is to keep on with the quit, saying NOPE (not one puff ever) every day as many times as you like the drug needs to keep you hooked into its rehlm mentally aswell as physically.

    Start counting the moments of happiness you have experienced during the day, before you go to sleep. Let yourself be happy on waking. You will turn this feeling around faster.
  • Robn February 12, 2021 | 12:03
    Hi Time2bfree, perhaps you need to ask yourself are you truly happy to be quitting or are you doing it for other reasons. If you embrace your quit completely, be happy at the thought of tomorrow without a smoke, be happy with the clean air you will take in to heal your lungs, the money you will save, not feeling smelly and embarrassed by the smoke in your hair, on your clothes. There are many joys to quitting and we all need to keep reminding is part of changing your mindset and it really helps make quitting easier. Want it 100%, go for it 100% and don’t let the down days beat you...

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