Stories & experiences


Making choices

Posted in Quit experiences 16 Jan 2021

Long night, last night. Thoughts of lawsuits, homelessness and destroying the finances of my family. Still, I am very proud of myself: My usual go to was to turn on the TV (or iPhone) and watch until I passed out. This time, I walked around the house, ate an apple, put on an audio podcast and listened until I feel asleep. And I kept to my morning routine of rising early and journaling.

The pull to watch something on my screen was palpable and there were moments that I was about to give in. And then I thought: This is just the excuse my addiction was looking for (manufactured). I am bigger than my addiction; I make better choices.

Part of what made that possible was the fact that I spent the evening cleaning up my notes (I had a stack of them built up over months) and being otherwise productive and away from the TV. The extra power I generated from focusing my attention on getting things accomplished instead of watching TV was incredibly satisfying; and I didn't even miss watching the tele. It may be a feeling similar to what you smokers experience when you first see more money in your wallet from not having spent it on durrys.

Granted, I am a bit slower off the mark this morning—I slept very little, after all—yet, I could not be filled with more excitement at the prospect of living my life intentionally. Day 3, television free.

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  • Happiness January 17, 2021 | 8:15
    Wow. Cold turkey television viewing! Good for you wanting to change your life that badly and going all out to do it. No half way for you.!

    Like a diet, you can't decide to eat less and do a walk around the block to reward yourself with a big piece of cake.
    Like quitting smoking, there is no wrong way and you know you best. Winning in the end is what matters! Congratulations on getting control of your life and making thoughtful decisions. Good choices and standing by them will keep you in good stead.
  • softly40 , Mid North Coast January 17, 2021 | 8:24
    Hi again Avvid3, sounds as if you have some sense of control even though you didn't get much sleep. This does happen when you are inundated with thoughts that are worrying you. That being said it is only thoughts, and these can also be controlled to some degree, it sounds like you need some meditation techniques whenever you need these thoughts to stop, deep breathing is one method, making sure your breath out is longer than your breath in, there are many apps online that are free to download.

    As for seeing money you can devise a thought process which helps such as:- "When I sleep my money grows" you can also visualise this and develop this over time with your own mantra. I would be interested in what kind of podcasts you listen to?

    One trick for a good night sleep is to write out your worry and work out on paper what to do the next day and leave it alone. It should show you a pattern from your notes in the past, this will enable you to pinpoint your biggest worry, and you can develop your own mantra from there. We are all emotional and spiritual beings, this is a plus not a minus, work out your best approach to the solution from this perspective. Live a balanced life when you can.

    Congratulations for living your life with the best of intentions, for yourself and others.

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