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Long night, last night. Thoughts of lawsuits, homelessness and destroying the finances of my family. Still, I am very proud of myself: My usual go to was to turn on the TV (or iPhone) and watch until I passed out. This time, I walked around the house, ate an apple, put on an audio podcast and listened until I feel asleep. And I kept to my morning routine of rising early and journaling.
The pull to watch something on my screen was palpable and there were moments that I was about to give in. And then I thought: This is just the excuse my addiction was looking for (manufactured). I am bigger than my addiction; I make better choices.
Part of what made that possible was the fact that I spent the evening cleaning up my notes (I had a stack of them built up over months) and being otherwise productive and away from the TV. The extra power I generated from focusing my attention on getting things accomplished instead of watching TV was incredibly satisfying; and I didn't even miss watching the tele. It may be a feeling similar to what you smokers experience when you first see more money in your wallet from not having spent it on durrys.
Granted, I am a bit slower off the mark this morning—I slept very little, after all—yet, I could not be filled with more excitement at the prospect of living my life intentionally. Day 3, television free.
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