Stories & experiences

Rhiannon89
Central Coast
1
Story
29/03/2020
Joined

Trying again

Posted in Getting started 04 Apr 2020
5 Comments

Hey everyone!

I’m 30 & am attempting to quit smoking for the billionth time. I literally attempt every time I finish a packet, and will smoke more to get rid of them quickly, only to end up buying another packet and then having to chain smoke that packet just to try get rid of them & try quit again. It will last Sometimes a day, a week, sometimes a few months. But I always end up back on them. I have quit for a few years back in my 20s when I was pregnant/in a better headspace.

I remember id always said I’d quit before I was 25, then 27, and now 30. I’ve smoked since I was 14. I hate everything about it. I hate my kids smelling it on me, I hate the chest pain, the anxiety that I’ve developed some sort of disease, the shortness of breath, the headaches, EVERYTHING.

It’s gotten the point where I need to chain smoke 3 cigarettes in a row each time I smoke to relieve cravings. I’ve read Allen Carr’s book previously which worked the first time for a few years, but I’ve re read it that many times now that I feel like it just falls on deaf ears because each time I fail I lose more and more hope.

This time I’m going to try the gum and patches and use this forum, which I haven’t done before.

I think my biggest downfall is how much I associate smoking with my house I live in, I smoke outside and every time I see my outdoor table the cravings are intense. I’ve also never drank alcohol without smoking, so anytime I want a drink I crave them. It’s extra hard at this time being stuck at home with 3 kids during the pandemic. My biggest triggers seem to be stress, boredom & relaxation (when I drink). I know deep down it doesn’t relieve any of that at all, but the cravings are so intense.

I have one cigarette left now & am feeling really anxious about this next attempt. I should be feeling excited for a better life, but I honestly think I’ve attempted that many times that I’ve lost all hope. Wish me luck!

Thanks for listening to my vent 😊😜

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5 Comments

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  • Lia April 04, 2020 | 18:14
    Hi. Seems like you have developed a pattern. Along the way, might you be kidding yourself in thinking you will quit? You and you alone must work out why you want to quit and then to work out how. From experience cutting down and / or enjoying the last hurrah never worked. It was just an invite to do it again and again. 45 years and trying in the last 2 when biting the bullet finally worked. Not so simple but that's it in a nutshell. I am nearly 5 years quit and know one puff will take me back to where I started. Hardly ever think about it. $41500 saved from the ash tray is yet another powerful reason. With inflating prices that will be over $100000 in another 5 years. As long as the CV-19 doesn't get me I shall live to buy many more expensive shoes... and breathe easy as opposed to developing emphysema... That too was an option 5 years ago. I wish you well.
  • Chance123 April 04, 2020 | 19:44
    Its a tough time when you fail over and over. Im trying to change my mind set - every time you get through a craving, youre one step closer. I think this one sounds like your real quit.
    Let us know how day 1 was.
  • Happiness April 05, 2020 | 7:58
    When we try to quit smoking and fail it is not a total lose because we learn something. You need to try a different approach. Spend money on an NRT so that you have money invested . Perhaps that will give you incentive to follow it through. Meanwhile, taste and think about the poisons in a cigarette. Losing its appeal helps. Making it inconvenient and uncomfortable to smoke will demonstrate what a time waster it is. Comparing the cost of smoking to something you could save for ..... For me , reading others' stories gave me the belief in myself that i needed. Yes, you can quit smoking. I am proof.
  • softly40, Mid North Coast April 05, 2020 | 9:21
    Welcome to the forum, this will help you over that devastating feeling of failure you are experiencing, and the overwhelming thought of trying again. Let me tell you that starting again is the best option not the worst.

    You could give up and not try, so you are at a new starting point now. Why do I know this, because this happened to me. I am now over one year free of the smokes. Learn from others Learn from outside information, but learn is the message you need to have at your fingertips right now. Ride the waves, we have all been there.

    This is an appropriate time now for you to begin again, you will have something personal to work for whilst we ride out the virus.

    Better late than never, try again and look up "How to grow to be a happy non smoker by NASIA DAVOS" u tube TedxUniversityofPiraeus Something in there will resonate with you, and can help you in many ways.

    Practice (NOPE) Not one puff ever, every day.
  • Nuts April 05, 2020 | 11:37
    Hi Rhiannon. I used patches for a month to get me through the first few weeks. You have to be really positive and determined . Look at your kids and do it for them as well as yourself. They will copy what you do so you should lead by example. Maybe lay of the drink for awhile. Be strong. You can do it

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