Stories & experiences


Quitting again

Posted in Getting started 04 Jan 2020

My plan is to quit in 7 days. I've tried tons of times. I've read the allen carr book twice and it never really helped. I smoke 2 packs a day. I don't work so there's a lot of times I smoke out of boredom. I don't have any trouble affording them so it doesn't make me less likely to smoke. My plan isn't really complete as I have no idea what to do all day instead of smoke. I bought several teas to drink and I plan to go with decaf coffee instead of regular. I have gum and plastic tubes to chew on. Unfortunately, I really love to smoke. I'm quitting because I don't like coughing all the time and it stinks. My sister and I are the last smokers left in our family as all the rest quit so I have a lot of good role models but when I ask they just say to put it in my mind not to smoke and resist the cravings. I've tried so many times and always cave before the 5th hour. I have a lot of regrets and as soon as I don't smoke all those feelings come back. Not sure what to do different this time to make it stick.

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  • Red-67 January 04, 2020 | 9:37
    Welcome quitter92. :)
    You do not sound very motivated. To do this, you must really want to quit, and make up your mind that you do NOT WANT to smoke. The two are different. Do you want to remain a slave to a little tube of tobacco ? Do you want your life to revolve around your next smoke ? I did not quit for health, or money. After 45+ years of smoking, one day, I just realized how stupid it was, and that I was really a slave to a cigarette, and that was it. I had to quit, and it was fairly easy, cold turkey, 3 fairly miserable weeks of withdrawal, and FREEDOM. :) I loved smoking too, but that is the addiction talking. If you have tried to quit many times, you must know you do not want to continue. I never tried, or wanted to quit, until that one time. Almost 3 years ago now, and I have never missed, wanted, or craved them since.. You can do it too.. Just change the way you think. Make a smoke something you do NOT WANT, not something you can't have. Do you want to smoke, or not ? Make up your mind, and just quit. You will be surprised at how good it feels, just to kick that slave driver out of your life. Take control of your mind, away from smoking, and it can be easy.
    You will hear a lot of talk, about nicotine, and even the error, that it is out of your system in 72 hours. All that is meaningless. The fact is, we are, or were, addicted to SMOKING. Much more than nicotine, and more than habit. Together, it defines us, We are, or were, smokers. Make the choice to set yourself free. You will be glad you did. I know I am :)
  • Red-67 January 04, 2020 | 9:51
    Oh, I did not set a day, I had 3 packs, at the time, and promised myself to never buy another one. I made 2 last a few weeks, and never opened the 3rd one. We light up out of routine. When you go for one, take a moment, and really just look at that thing.. That tube of tobacco that runs your life.. Ask yourself if you really have to have this one. Ask yourself if you want this little thing to control you. You may find, that you can just put it back..
    You may be able to afford them, but ask yourself if you want to continue giving the government all that tax money. A pack, of 20, cost less than 50 cents to make, and maybe 1.50 at sale. The rest is tax, and tariffs. You like giving your money away ? When you just stop, and think, past the smoke cloud, the quit can be as easy as you make it.. :)
  • quitter92 January 04, 2020 | 10:19
    Hi Red-67. Thank you for your replies. It's true, I am a slave to it. I do feel stupid having one in my lips all day. Especially as everyone around me has quit. I definitely need to work on my perspective. I just don't seem to want it enough yet. I did quit once when I was in the military. I didn't have any cravings or even think about it. But as soon as I was out 20 years ago, I started again and haven't made it a day without smoking since. I'll try your tips. Hopefully this will be my time to quit.
  • Nuts January 04, 2020 | 10:50
    Hi quitter92. You dont really love to smoke. You just tell yourself that you do. What is there to love ? Coughing, Being short of breath, smelling bad, no money. Being an outcast, just to name a few. For years i told myself that i loved smoking because i was afraid to quit. Are you doing that too ? If so, dont be afraid. Its not as bad as you think. Be positive and determined and it will be so much easier. You can do it
  • Red-67 January 04, 2020 | 11:07
    I do understand, but, what I can see now, that I could not admit to myself, as long as I was a smoker, is that we only love to smoke because we are, or were as addict. The more you allow yourself to think, outside the addiction, the easier it will be.
    Does a non smoker run for a smoke, to calm down ??
    Does a non smoker have to have a smoke, to enjoy a stiff drink ??
    Does a non smoker run for a smoke when they get upset ??
    NO, we only feel, or felt, that way, because we are, or were addicted to it. Let yourself think past the addiction. Do they really taste good ? NO, we just make ourselves think so. Take your brain away from them. Take control, and change the way you think. My light bulb moment was simple. I was driving past a restaurant, and saw a young couple, 20ish, coming out, and lighting up. We all know how that works, after a meal.. I remember thinking to myself,, just how STUPID does one have to be, to start smoking, knowing what we know now ??? 40-50 years ago, we saw smokers everywhere, but now, we should know better. But, then, I had to look at the one between my fingers, and ask myself, well, how STUPID do you have to be to keep smoking ?? My only answer was, SMOKING MAKES YOU STUPID.. That's how it works. And that was it. I had to quit. I had just never thought about it that way. I had never wanted to quit, and had never tried to quit. I grew up in a house full of smokers. Probably had second hand addiction to nicotine, before I ever started myself..
    If you can separate your thinking, admit to yourself that you are an addict, and see past the illusion, the lies, that we allow, even taught ourself to believe, you can then see, there is not, and never was, anything good about smoking..
    You CAN do this. You can make them something you just don't want :)
  • Happiness January 04, 2020 | 11:35
    Smokers are not guilted into quitting. No one quits unless they want to . You are not afraid of the health implication just as millions of others aren't. More money than sense doesn't fair well in this endeavor.

    Perhaps a challenge. Yours sister is going to beat you to the punch and leave you alone standing out in the cold hacking up a lung. Pisces came here weak and pathetic in her eyes, yet she opened her heart and mind to our guidance and stands smoke free, nicotine free and craving free in less than a month. Can you do the same?
    Why not read our stories and see how it is done. I have several stories and stuff I wrote to help others. No one can help you unless you want to help yourself. We can tell you all kinds of secrets and none will matter if you cannot have an open mind. An open mind and desire to quit is the MOST essential thing to this mission. Doomed to failure without. You need to decide if you want to do it, or spare yourself the hardship.

    You've read Allen Carr. That is basically what we encourage....seeing the truth. We were all once blind to the truth, making excuses and resigned to the fact that we would die smoking.

    For me the difference was the information highway via internet, wanting to better my health, accidentally quitting smoking. No elaboration here, if you are interested in quitting as easily as i did you will read. Simple. Pisces also has an amazing story......

    But we can't interest you in us, you are not even interested in helping yourself. Does it validate things to yourself that you joined a quit group so you can assage your guilt and say "i tried'.

    Some have come here with poor attitude and full of doubt, failures and even forced to quit. You have a choice. You do not have other health issues that stack the cards against you. You are just like the rest of us here.

    We did it and so did some that i very much doubted would. But at least they were honest with themselves.

    So if nothing else works.... then yes, I dare you!
    Red in absolutely right,
  • quitter92 January 04, 2020 | 12:00
    Hi nuts. Thanks for the reply. I'm hoping to change my mindset this time to make it go smoothly.
  • quitter92 January 04, 2020 | 12:14
    Hi Happiness. Thanks for the reply. I do have trouble with the mindset that it isn't a little friend that keeps me from feeling bored or any bad feelings I have. I've been reading the posts on here for several days before I joined. I made it to the 2017 posts so far. I'd love any secrets anyone can share. I'm hoping reading the posts helps me to make this time successful. I have been frustrated with my attempts alone.
  • Happiness January 04, 2020 | 12:51
    I meant to mention, that although I hadn't tried to quit for many decades, it was only when seeing others quit and believing that i could do it that i took it seriously. It was the first time for me joining a quit group and i do think that for many it does make a difference.
    I am at a loss as to what to advise you if you have read Allen Carr. Perhaps this time you will be ready. Try my If Youve Given Up Giving Up Piece a still got 7 days to practice and change how you think about cigarettes.
    Anyone can quit smoking, but we can't do it for you. There is no little magic pill. Even Champix and other stuff required you to do your part.
  • Pisces24, Central Coast January 04, 2020 | 13:52
    Well said all....
    What can I say quitter92......seems Ive said all that to myself before. I didn't ever even try to quit.
    I "liked" smoking or so I belieyved and so I said. It possibly was a control thing for me. No one can tell you or force you to quit. It has to be your desire and WANT not someone else's goal.
    Oh! I was gunna I told myself and one day.
    Well 47 years later trapped by being addicted, controlled, ostracised, etc etc you know the drill.
    I just got sick and tired of cigarettes ruling my life, sneaking around, lying and feeling like a low life weak idiot.

    I bought a pack of 15mg patches got onto this forum and really started to absorb what Nicotine addiction really is. I read the book and almost immediately I understood The Nicotine Monster and how it controlled my mind and every waking moment.
    I stopped feeling weak pathetic and despising my weak self.
    I wasnt weak and pathetic, it was the nicotine not me...
    All these years I hated myself and was too afraid that I was not strong enough.
    I grew a spine!
    I am strong enough.
    I have QUIT!
    31 days. Easy going.
    Im glad that I can go and do whatever wherever WITHOUT thinking of where when and how I was going to get that filthy cigarette into me...thats all I thought about every single day of my OLD life.
    NOT NOW!!!
    I'm free as a bird🕊... (even if its taken my whole life and Im more of an old bat!🦇)
    But....Happy and proud of ME and this major landmark and achievement in my life... so never too early but always too late. Give up.
    You can keep being half baked or you can get into it or you can go on as you are... I would ask WHY???
    YOU need to get there yourself. No one else is going to do it for you. Get out of your hidey hole and your comfort zone. Embrace it.
    Read the Allen Carr Book.
    What are you afraid of?
    Do you fear you'll succeed?
    You've set your QUIT date so do your homework and learn as much as you can.
    Everyone at ICANQUIT has walked in your shoes.
    Are you IN or OUT??????????
    Up to you.
    Smoke your head off for 50 stupid years or get a life!
    We're here for you
  • Lia January 04, 2020 | 22:16
    Hi Qiuitter92. I think I feel a little sorry for you. So smoking doesn't have any impact on your bank balance. 1680 days ago I stood on my balcony and looked across the square to the supermarket. I was running out of cigarettes and about to revisit the cigarette counter to hand over $196 for a carton. Shortly after that I was on my computer Googling how to quit sites / ideas. I came across this site and a post from Big Jon who said he called his craving Margaret Thatcher. That was it! My turning point. I used expletives every time Margaret reared her head and suggested I light up. Days, weeks and months later she remained relentless. Always suggesting I reward myself for my effort. We all know what that means. Back to square 1.If it was me wanting to light up, I would. Fortunately not Margaret nor anyone else tells me what to do. I can only hope you find your Margaret Thatcher "lookalike". $36 600 saved from the ashtray looks good in my overs tray...
  • quitter92 January 05, 2020 | 0:42
    Hi Pisces24. Thanks for your reply. I'm sick of cigarettes ruling my life too. I'll reread my allen carr book and read the posts on here and hopefully next week be a non smoker too.
  • quitter92 January 05, 2020 | 0:45
    Hi Lia. Thank you for your reply. I feel sorry for myself too. Hopefully, by the time my quit day comes, I'll be able to look at cigs like they're the enemy too.
  • Happiness January 05, 2020 | 4:44
    Are you smoking those cigarettes mindfully? Are you tasting the poison instead of how good you imagine they taste? Are you taking time, just the two of you, one on one. Are you starting to resent the time it is taking and how often? Can you smell how badly you smell? I had no idea how badly i stunk. Are you still enjoying that smoke? Don't be thinking, like your enjoying something you cannot have in the future. You are an adult, You have money, You have a mind, and yes you even do have some control of that mind left, even with nicotine doing all it can to blind you to the obvious. Take this time to do these things. It is no joke. You need help in perceiving what nicotine does.
    Take the time to read and absorb what Allan Carr says and the examples he gives. Relate to them. He wants to help you, you need to help yourself. It is not a speed reading contest.
    Only you know whether you do what we sincerely suggest in order to help you. You said you needed to find a new way.

    knowledge is power and the truth shall set you free.
  • Happiness January 05, 2020 | 5:10
    It also occurs to me that while the money spend smoking may not matter to you at this time have you ever considered other matters. What about your family and what a few dollars now or a lump saved down the road could affect their lives. An education fund for the grandchildren to ensure their success.
    Do you want to help others by donating to the Salvation Army, which has most of its dollars , 96% i believe goes to where we intend our contributions to go. Just like nicotine, some will fleece you.
    Do you love animals? What about a monthly contribution to this good cause for poor defenseless animals in need of food and shelter and love. Why not adopt one or two to lend a little excitement and joy in your life. Go down to the shelter and see if they don't melt your heart and have you stop feeling sorry for yourself.
    Putting those ash dollars to good use and making you feel great, would help you to keep your resolve, for it wouldn't be just a let down to yourself but to all those beautiful eyes also hoping for a better life.

    Can you tell i've been thinking of getting a cat or two?
    Anyways, just a thought.
    The money may not matter to you....burn it , burn a pile of it right now...that's what will happen to it anyways. It will burn and help no one and no thing and destroy you in the process........I bet you can't even burn the price of one pack......
  • quitter92 January 05, 2020 | 6:55
    Hi Happiness. I have been paying attention to every cigarette. I don't like how it tastes most of the time. I may have to give up coffee on my quit day too because that first coffee and cigarette of the day still taste really good to me. I've also been reading more posts. I'm having trouble filling the time in my first 3 days plan. No kids or hubby so I spend my days alone and sometimes they do drag on. It would be good for me to give more to worthy causes. I have a few already but giving is such a good feeling maybe adding more would help. It does change my thoughts about smoking when I imagine just burning the money into ashes. It is mostly the same as smoking the tobacco to ashes. I loved having my cats when I was younger. They've all passed on now and I just don't want to mess with the litter anymore so I don't want to adopt new ones but I do give financially already. I'd definitely have more to give if I throw away the cig addiction.
  • Nuts January 05, 2020 | 10:39
    Take $50 note. Picture a hungry child or a pack of smokes. I know which one i would spend it on. Think about it 🤔
  • Happiness January 05, 2020 | 12:20
    All the more reason to take in a couple of cats if you are at home all the time without company and hubby. You can always hire someone to come in and help out for an hour a week if you find it difficult or distasteful. We all need a reason to get up in the morning and someone or something to love.

    We all need a reason to give up smoking and you being around to take care of a couple of dependents will make you a happier and give you a reason to care about yourself. Loving yourself is sometimes hard, but no one is perfect and everyone is worth love and understanding. Most certainly everyone deserves to live a healthy life. Cherish what you have. Think what brings meaning to your life. Choose to get there.

    We make our own life decisions, We make our own happiness. Make changes for the better. You are worth it!
  • Pisces24, Central Coast January 05, 2020 | 19:28
    Happiness is gonna get a kitty cat for sure😽
  • Pisces24, Central Coast January 05, 2020 | 19:28
    Happiness is gonna get a kitty cat for sure😽
  • Happiness January 06, 2020 | 2:21
    I might even get two. Hubby doesn't want to Probably just one as they are independent anyways. They are not like dogs apparently. They do not miss us if we are away for the weekend. They love to sleep, but also like to cuddle and enjoy some playtime. I want an older cat, somewhat settled and well mannered. As I live in an apartment now it will have to stay indoors. I have inquired into a "medical" cat but not sure I want to get emotionally attached if the condition becomes chronic (or fatal). Nor do I have the money for expensive vet bills. I can foster to adopt, and maybe just foster and let someone else adopt. At least she would have a home in the meantime, and I could feel good about that and be happy knowing she would have a good home.

    Congratulations Pisces with the news of your son quitting smoking!
    It is a reward we did not expect but cherish most! Hubby and daughter are both still smoke-free and did it by reading Allan Carr. They also had an easy quit as I did.
    We have to think positive about changes we make in our life . While nothing is perfect if we look at the glass as half full rather than half empty there is more fuel left to fire the motivation.

    I find the "news" depressing so I don't keep up. I hope the fires are under control down there and that you got the rain you all prayed for. Thinking of you all and praying for your homes and families. PuffNoMore, there is some concern because you are close to the fires, please check in. Take care all.
  • Pisces24, Central Coast January 06, 2020 | 7:19
    Thanks Happiness... get a kitten. They are so clean and easy to look after. She will amuse you with her games , intelligence and laziness! She will cuddle you when she feels like it but she will give you love warmth and above all "Happiness"..
    Apartment living is perfect for a cat.
    I hope you are well.
    Aussies are really suffering Australia wide but thankfully I and my family are good.
    I'm also trying to get another family member on board too. I've given my son all my patches.
    Hes started running, walking and "burning off all this extra energy" so doing exercise and/or something new clean and positive and also FEEL GOOD helps you enter this different phase and a void for some.
    So to all who may have extra time or HEADSPACE get out and about and do something different. Change it up.
  • Pisces24, Central Coast January 06, 2020 | 7:41
    Quitter92... just forgot to tell you that boredom, life's regrets and frustrations are still THERE whether you smoke a white stick filled with tobacco laced nicotine and poison..
    Whether you smoke or not does'nt CHANGE anything you're thinking about.
    Maybe your Dr can help you with a Councillor to help you in those specific areas you're concerned about. Talking to someone always helps.
    They are not related to smoking you know, they are separate.
    It might sound crazy but yoga or gentle pilates might be good for you. Try it maybe just once. You'll meet some friends too. Get out and about and not be alone. Get past the letterbox as often as you can. Being on your own makes you dwell on everything... getting out in the fresh air and be happy you're alive.
    You CAN do it you know. You're strong enough.
    Look at all the things you've survived in your life.
    You are still HERE! Surviving and living.
    When you do resist smoking each day that passes is a feeling of pride and then you start to feel a little STRONG. This feeling grows and your pride grows too.
    The best thing of all is that when these feelings grow your nicotine addiction and fear diminishes.
    Try it
  • Happiness January 06, 2020 | 10:53
    Puuuurfect Pisces. Alsolutely Puuuurfect!
  • Happiness January 06, 2020 | 11:15
    While so little information is given in a synopsis of a situation. Sometimes we can accurately sense a feeling. While we intend to help on an individual situation, we mean no disrespect if we are wrong in assumptions. Apologizes if we are totally wrong, but someone DOES fall into this area and may benefit.

    Quitter 92, if you have followed posts in the past ,know that my demeanor in your case is as always well intended. You seem to require something outside the norm.....something that you can relate to. Some do, and all i can do is hammer away at different unique approaches. We are all different. I do not doubt that anyone wants to quit after several attemps. I will be the first to admit that they are much stronger and determined than I have ever been in the past.

    While we may all be different, we are all human, none of us perfect, but still face the same issues of growing older, being on our own, wanting and needing to be self sufficient and not wanting to burden the kids. We still need to feel wanted and useful and loved. You are no different. We love life and want to live as long as possible and hopefully without being a burden to loved ones. Love yourself. Isn't that the first step in knowing love. If you don't love yourself, how can you love another?

  • Happiness January 06, 2020 | 12:04
    Puuuurfect Pisces. Alsolutely Puuuurfect!
  • Pisces24, Central Coast January 06, 2020 | 16:06
    Your new emoji is 😻..
    I knew and understood your approach tavtic. Its OK.
    Quitter92 will always gave friends who care and be there for her 24 x 7 as well as many other ICANQUIT friends.
    You are not alone quitter 92 and you can definitely succeed to be free of nicotine.
    Give yourself a chance to be free of cigarettes and day by day you will grow stronger and happier.
    2020 is a new decade and time for you to be your own woman.
  • Nuts January 06, 2020 | 23:10
    I really love cats Seriously quitter92, you can do this 👍
  • quitter92 January 07, 2020 | 1:44
    Thanks everyone. It really helps knowing you're here and being able to learn for your experiences. I'm reading all the posts I can right now. I am feeling a little calmer about my quit day. I bought the audio version of allen carr so I'll listen to that the day before my quit. I've read the book a few times but it didn't change anything for me but I'm hoping the audio version will refresh my mindset in a different way. I definitely need to quit coffee at the same time as I quit the cancer sticks. It's just too much temptation to smoke with coffee. I got some chamomile tea and decaf green tea so it'll keep me from missing anything. I've had bloodshot eyes for the past I don't know how many years from smoking so I think it'll be nice not to have itchy eyes and not look like a drug addict. Although, that's exactly what I am. Nicotine is a drug. I try to remind myself that I quit alcohol and soda without any trouble over 15 years ago so I just need to apply the same attitude to smoking and listen to all the successful quitters here. I keep reminding myself that everyone here has quit and know better than my addicted mind.
  • Happiness January 07, 2020 | 2:00
    That is just it, we know more than your addicted mind , not you. Only you know you, but you need to let us and Allen Carr in enough to flip that switch in your mind that nicotine turned off decades ago. WD-40 won't unclog it from the debris allowed to settle there and cake on. Lies upon lies about how nicotine relieved our stress and anxiety. Fearing we could not escape so we never tried in the right ways. By gently shaking the cage, some of the lies will come unstuck and once the key starts to turn.....

    You too can be free. Change your mind. Change the future.
  • Pisces24, Central Coast January 07, 2020 | 6:42
    Embrace the book and learn you are not GIVING UP anything.
    The book explains the nicotine addiction.
    I looked at my addiction by referring to it as The Nicotine Monster.
    He ruled my life and my brain. I couldnt go anywhere or do anything until he was fed multiple times a day EVERY day for 47 years!
    I'm FREE of that now and it is so good.
    Once I quit, I got stronger and he got weaker. You see, if you dont feed him he will die.That is why when you quit dont ever have JUST ONE, or a couple of puffs. Once you are rid of the nicotine from your body (usually about 3 days)
    one little puff will set you right back to the beginning.
    Turn your back on him.
    Dont feed him EVER and its that easy.
    You can do this.
    What have you got to lose???
    QUITTING is something wonderful that you CAN do.
    You wont know how happy you can be and proud of yourself too.

  • Happiness January 08, 2020 | 2:10
    Hi Quitter92. Today or tomorrow is the day, depending on what country you are

    Remember where you are. In the middle of people, just like you who have managed to quit smoking. We are proof that it can be done. Believe that you CAN do this too and you will. You came here, we did not drag you in. You WANT to be a non-smoker and are DETERMINED to do it this time. You do not want to let yourself down , nor your friends here. We are your true friends who can do something for you, while you cigarette is a false one. You can be free of this ADDICTION and be PROUD and FREE. You are not alone. We are with you every step of the way, understanding how you feel, but knowing that everyone has it in them to succeed.
    This quit is not like the others. This will be the FINAL quit. You will grasp the mindset and embrace the journey instead of fearing it. You've been down the road before so you know there is nothing to fear. Cravings are but mere thoughts, whatever kind. Your life ahead holds better health and opportunities to help others. We make our own happiness and have the power to take back control.

    You are in the drivers seat quitter92. Take control and start your journey to freedom.
  • Nuts January 10, 2020 | 16:15
    You can do quitter92 😊
  • quitter92 January 11, 2020 | 3:14
    Hi, thanks everyone. I'm still here. I'm postponing till the 14th as I don't have all my quitting stuff yet.

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