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themrsbeardsley01
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Stories
21/05/2017
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Posted in Getting started 17 Aug 2019
9 Comments

I'm still here, I haven't abandoned ship LOL.

Evening folks (it is almost midnight here on Friday) It has been a crazy busy week for me & I apologize that this is the first time I have had a chance to pop in. I see there are lots of new stories & can not wait to read them.

An update from me...I am still struggling to fully launch. I have switched to an electronic cigarette with 14 mg of nicotine. It seems high to me, but I absolutely hate the d*** thing so it is in fact cutting down on my intake. Alot actually & that made me think of what someone said about doing it the way that works best for me. As much as I would love to do it cold turkey, I have learned that it does not work for me at this point in time.

So for now the plan is to keep smoking the awful e-cig. I hate the thing so much. It is nothing like a real cigarette. Time for a bit of analyses on that point. If I hate smoking (the way I believe I DO) then why do I hate the electronic so much? Because part of my nicotine addicted brain believes I am depriving myself. The logical part of my brain knows this isn't true, but I keep getting pulled back into the same mental arguments. What to do, what to do?

Oh, one more thing...I have been exhausted this week. I am still getting my usual amount of sleep but find myself falling asleep all through the day. It is quite bothersome. The whole "time distortion" thing with quitting (cutting back for me) already makes the day seem so long, but the exhaustion on top of it makes it so difficult. Has anyone else experienced this? I Never did with other quits so it's unusual for me. Thanks in advanced for all comments. It is the weekend so I will have a bit more time to check in.

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9 Comments

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  • Nuts August 17, 2019 | 14:16
    Hi themsbeardley 01. Its saturday arvo here in oz. You need to lose the e.cig. Its not helping you. You need to break that hand to mouth action. Try a day without it. You may be suprised. Its really mind over matter. If you really think that you need nrt, then go for the patches. It breaks all of the movements that you make while smoking. By now you shouldnt need any nrts at all. Be strong. You can do it
  • themrsbeardsley01 August 17, 2019 | 14:52
    Hello Nuts. Funny, that's how I feel when I have the internal conflicts all day. I feel sorry for everyone around me because I am worried that I am an unbearable tyrant. Somedays I just want to step outside of myself & grab my own shoulders to shake some sense in. Good days, I KNOW I can do this. I can actually see myself as a non smoker & it is beautiful. Bad days however are my downfall. And I seem to have more bad days than good days (in regard to smoking). So, as I said I am struggling. And I am tired. So tired of constantly being at war with myself. I hate the addiction & yet I keep on punishing myself! Uggghhhhh!!

    " If you can't beat fear, do it scared"

    Thank you Nuts, for shaking the sense back in to me. I will spend my weekend being scared/angry/tired & smoke free. Cold turkey. I CAN DO THIS.

    On a completely different subject, I am going to cry myself to sleep now LOL.
  • Darren76 August 17, 2019 | 15:06
    Hi I'm Darren I quit smoking 6 days ago cold turkey. I started drinking green tea and it takes away the cravings for a cigarette. Green tea is making my quit extremely too easy. Give the green tea I try and let me know what you think if you do. I'm just trying to help.
  • themrsbeardsley01 August 17, 2019 | 15:25
    Hi Darren (is the 76 for the year you were born? I'm just curious)
    I read a couple of your stories about the green tea earlier & made myself a mental note to go get some tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes. I need all the help I can get!
  • Happiness August 17, 2019 | 16:22
    Hi Wendy. I have to say that i agree with Nuts, and that an inhaler or anything with that hand to mouth reinforcement is of less help than other Nrts.

    Remember that we don't really enjoy smoking, we just don't enjoy not smoking.

    You say you hate the fighting with yourself but by cold turkey the worst is over in 72 hours. The fear is gone and acceptance is gradually setting in to make the transition to be a happy non-smoker. Try the green tea suggestion and read the link i posted to Joel Spritz. You really can do this.
  • Robn August 17, 2019 | 19:07
    Hi, you really are having a war with yourself and it must drive you crazy. How about you take baby steps. You want to kick this habit out of your life, so use that as your motivation. Get up tomorrow and tell yourself you are going to get through the day without any nicotine. Just focus on that one day...do whatever it takes to stay clean. If you can do that, simply repeat the next day and so on. Go for walks, find a hobby that will keep your hands busy..I do diamond painting and it has helped me a lot. Clean the house...do whatever it takes to fill your day. Sometimes we look at the long game and it overwhelms us. It is the mental war that is making you so tired....embrace your quit and focus on only one day at a time. You can do this, I think you are just having trouble mentally letting go. Keep your thoughts positive...it does not have to be so hard if you change the way you think about it. I could not do cold turkey either but I did find the patches very helpful and after a month I did not use them anymore. Tons of support here for you.....love yourself and do this for yourself.
  • themrsbeardsley01 August 18, 2019 | 4:11
    Hi Darren (is the 76 for the year you were born? I'm just curious)
    I read a couple of your stories about the green tea earlier & made myself a mental note to go get some tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes. I need all the help I can get!
  • themrsbeardsley01 August 18, 2019 | 4:20
    Thanks Happiness & Robn. I am trying. I know, I know...we aren't supposed to "try", we are just supposed to "do" but try is all I have in me sometimes. The way I put perspective on that is I haven't quit trying yet so all hope is not lost.
  • emsie August 20, 2019 | 23:09
    Keep going. The exhaustion side really hit me for a week last week, couldn’t think properly or anything as totally shattered.

    Monday I woke up and since then it’s gone. I am on 10 weeks not smoking.

    I use the NRT inhaler, it works for me and stick with whatever works for you. You will get there.

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