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Hunter New England

Quitting while living with a very heavy smoker

Posted in Hints and tips 01 Jul 2019

Hi all, just wondering if anyone quit while living with a heavy smoker? My husband smokes 10 packs of 40 per week. This is between work and home. So cigarette smoke is always present. Don’t get me started on cost, worked it out to be between $22,500 and $24,000 per year. I smoke a lot less then he does but decided that I have better things to do with the money. I gave up once before for over two years and another attempt lasted six months. This time I want to make it for good. Please help if you can.

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  • NicoleF, Hunter New England July 22, 2019 | 16:59
    Hi Chelsea,

    I am staying smoke free 21 days so far. My husband smokes in the house so no escaping second hand smoke, but staying strong. My stresses are not little things like arguments but sickness and death, these are the things that set me off each time. I am trying hard, if it were simple stress, I wouldn’t last a day.
  • NicoleF, Hunter New England July 22, 2019 | 5:28
    Hi Chelsea,

    I am staying smoke free 21 days so far. My husband smokes in the house so no escaping second hand smoke, but staying strong. My stresses are not little things like arguments but sickness and death, these are the things that set me off each time. I am trying hard, if it were simple stress, I wouldn’t last a day.
  • Chelle, Central Coast July 21, 2019 | 12:01
    I’m 56 days smoke free I feel so good about it. My partner smokes outside it really doesn’t bother me right from the beginning because I was so determined this time. My thought was the same thing what if something stressful happens this was put under test when I had an argument with someone, at the time I thought the same as written above the stress won’t go away by smoking the argument will still be there, instead I had an extra cup of coffee I also did some deep breathing and the craving went! That’s the thing cravings go!
  • penelopejane July 03, 2019 | 22:11
    I do chair exercises. I stretch as well.
  • Welsh Des July 03, 2019 | 8:41
    Such tragic times when sickness and death of family or close friends occurs has often led to folks who have quit reaching for the smokes,we all understand well how that happens
    The only thing I can say about that is the anguish and the tragedy is never lessened by reaching for those smokes,it changes nothing,stress and terrible times stay stressful and terrible times remain the same despite smoking
  • Happiness July 02, 2019 | 10:00
    Well NicoleF you can become a cheerleader here on iCanQuit as I did. Apparently learning something new like a skill or hobby, playing an instrument or an interest in bettering your health can play a very positive role in that it substitutes a bad habit with a good one. I have always enjoyed both reading and writing so this was an excellent activity for me. I was also in the midst of bettering my health when i decided it was time to quit smoking . It wasn't until i joined a forum such as this that i came to believe that I actually could conquer such a vile addiction.

    Anyone can let go of this controlling habit. After the desire to quit is stronger than the desire to smoke , the belief that you can will lead you through. Read, learn and think positive!
  • NicoleF, Hunter New England July 02, 2019 | 8:23
    Hi folks, yes my husband smokes inside. Even last time I quit the saved money didn’t interest him. He is stubborn! The reason why I went back to smoking the first long stint was due to a family member illness and sudden death. Was alone, upset and there was an open packet of cigarettes. Apart from walking, there are very few exercises I can do due to fractures in my spine. I will do my best to make this journey a permanent one. Thank you for the support.
  • Edina July 02, 2019 | 3:22
    Hi Nicole I’m starting today. OMG your husband is a heavy smoker. I smoke 5-8 cigarettes per day mainly when I have coffee or just to let go when I’m under stress. I’ve tried several times to quit but then I also stop drinking coffee and I enjoy it in the morning and afternoon. Maybe it’s harder for me to quit because I’m not a heavy smoker. I’m giving it another go!!!! Wishing you all the best.
  • Happiness July 02, 2019 | 2:01
    Hi NicoleF. My spouse continued to smoke in his chair right beside me. He offered to refrain smoking there, but it did not bother me. Robyn is right thought, and for your hubby's sake ask him to smoke outdoors. The money saved between the both of you would be impressive and he wouldn't even crave half of the ones that he mindlessly smokes.

    If you have not started your journey yet, my piece entitled GivenUp GivinUp? Try This..... may give you some points to consider . There are lots of great stories on here...but don't forget to set a quit date soon. Learn about yourself and the addiction and how retraining your mind to accept and embrace this journey can make a world of difference.

    Choosing this as your lifes goal is far different than approaching it as i must do , but also feeling deprived. You have to WANT to. Learn how to Want to be a non-smoker. Open your mind and heart to the idea. Envision it, and then embrace it.

    Telling yourself or the craving that you must not smoke is only inviting the pink elephant into the room. Don't think about it. , ....but you do. Instead think I want (xxxxxxxx) substitute cigarette with freedom, pride, my family, or think fresh air. Cravings are mere thoughts and are fleeting if not dwelled upon.

    The habit of smoking should be replaced to make us happy and reward us with dopamine through other sources. Good thoughts, music, hug, call to a loved one, but replacing a bad habit with a good one is most recommended. Nadia Davos says that learning is a great substitute. By learning about myself on a quit forum like this, it became my new passion and perhaps why I had no cravings after the nicotine was out of my system for the most part. (72 hours). This site offers new insights and ideas and a wealth of support so please do spend as much time as you can spare here. Your support to others is also invaluable.

    Exercise is another great habit to get into, and as your health improves this may be an option that may not have been viable before. It is amazing how our breathing improves dramatically on its own like magic in just a few short days of not ingesting crap into our lungs.

    You can do this. Learn and believe that you can, and who knows, maybe your hubby will follow suit as mine did!
  • Robn July 01, 2019 | 20:56
    Hi NicoleF, welcome to our community. If you want to quit then you can quit. Doesn’t matter that your husband smokes. The biggest part of quitting is the mind set. Which is why I say if you want to quit then you will. You need to want to quit more than you want to smoke......that is the key. I don’t know if hubby smokes in the house or only outside....but I would ask if to assist you on this journey he could please only smoke outside. You given up before.....this time quit for good....maybe hubby will see that all that money could be used for better things. Stay strong and focus on your journey.

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