Stories & experiences


Day 6 and doubtfully hopeful (?)

Posted in Getting started 27 Dec 2018

I am away from home and cannot smoke around my family, so it's easy not to smoke at all. I can't understand my own self, as I'm afraid that when I get home I will start again. I know all of the reasons to stop, and it makes me feel so much better - even did a 7.5 km run this morning - twice as far as my most recent pathetic efforts.

Every single one of my previous quits has failed, obviously.

This time I MUST hang in there - I really want that better quality of life, but somehow my self belief keeps crumbling.

Any ideas?

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  • Red-67 December 27, 2018 | 9:21
    Well,, Stop and think. You have been torturing yourself for a couple years now.. You stop, and start. When you really want to QUIT, and are ready to take control of your body and mind, you will.. If you just do it, you will be miserable for a few weeks, and then free. We don't have to STAY quit, we only have to QUIT once, and embrace being a non smoker..
  • Robn December 27, 2018 | 11:29
    Hi, you are setting yourself to failure with a negative mindset, “doubtfully hopeful”, change your attitude and you will be surprised how much it helps. Look forward to each new day and each challenge and deal with it one day at a time. Everyday that you get through is cause for celebration. As the days add up so will your belief that you can do another day. If you really want this you can do it. Don’t be someone who can’t have a smoke, be someone who doesn’t want one ever.
  • storm , Murrumbidgee December 27, 2018 | 12:48
    Hi weewillem
    Welcome back, I am pleased you are still trying, not sure if the negativity is a problem but try self positive talk
    they say each attempt is closer to success, so lets be postive and say this is the last time, because this time you will succeed
    Remember weewillem, take one minute, one hour, one day at a time which ever works for you, just stay strong and don't have that first cigarette
    you haven't had a cigarette for 6 days this time, so you know you can do it.
    when you go home change your routine to distract you, good luck have faith in yourself, you can do this
    2019 is around the corner make this your year to succeed and become smoke free
  • Aniruddha December 27, 2018 | 22:18
    What works for me is to take a pause when I am craving and think about how I am going to feel after I have had a smoke.
  • weewillem December 28, 2018 | 8:34
    Thanks folks for all of your good advice. I have actually been trying to escape for forty years.

    I have 'stick my head in the sand' syndrome, which is very self indulgent I think.

    I have read Alan Carr a few times and have been listening to his audio book over and over again, and no longer hear it, even though I almost know the book off by heart.

    Perhaps smart turkey is the real way to go, where escapees like me need to study for a couple of hours every day to really think about their habit, and to find new reasons to stay free.

    Thanks for your help folks.

    When I get back home again, I plan to make my house immaculately clean and tidy up the gardens - that will be very rewarding and keep me busy 😊
  • John 100 December 28, 2018 | 11:27
    Hi Weewillem
    Agree with Robn and Storm, mindset appears to be a big part of the problem. You appear to be fixating and reinforcing your perceived past failures. Below are some of the words and phrases you used:

    my most recent pathetic efforts
    failed, obviously
    self belief keeps crumbling
    I'm afraid
    can't understand my own self

    Do any of those phrases sound positive. Replace these thoughts with positive thoughts that are achievable and realistic. Visualise every day as a non smoker, you have had wins, 6 days - then you can make 10 days and then 100. What are you afraid of, failure, whats the very worst thing that can happen?, you slip up and have a cigarette. Being afraid is something we create in our own minds, instead of being afraid of failure look forward to your future success.

    Sorry if it seems like I'm rambling a bit, however believe me when I say that I know how hard it is to finally realise you really what to Quit, the reasons why and then commit to making yourself a non-smoker. You can do it.

    Looking forward to you posting about how you now have control of the addiction. Remember you are not alone and others In our positions have become smoke free.
  • Happiness December 28, 2018 | 12:17
    I have to agree with John above. I have gone through all of your posts from beginning to end. I am astonished that you are still here trying, and I do believe that you do WANT to quit smoking. You did not bury your head in the sand once understanding the impact nicotine had on our minds and sensors. You are one of the most self taught, well read, intelligent and determined persons that i have encountered on this site. You have had great starts to many quits. I agree with you that being free of its talons are quite reward enough. Stop thinking about "rewards " altogether if it leads to two cigs. You did not reward yourself in any way, but instead inflicted more suffering on yourself. Why do you not want to be happy? You said it was not fear of being a non-smoker. Do you not deserve to find that state of freedom?

    Stop comparing this time to other attempts at quitting smoking.
    Believe that this is the last time because you will be successful.
    You know how good you felt when you have succeed for lengthy periods of time
    You also hold the knowledge that empowers you to make this dream of becoming a non-smoker a reality
    You have everything to live for, a second chance it seems and someone you adore to do it for
    Remember the couple looking into each others eyes at the hospital
    Surely you have mastered both the Big Nicotine Monster and know the 4 D's,
    You have killed and resurrected the Little Nicotine Monster several times
    I am impressed with the knowledge you have acquired
    So now, stop feeling sorry for yourself, put all the information together, and use it.
    We know you can. It's high time you believe you can too.
  • Lia December 29, 2018 | 20:36
    Hi Weewillem. Trust these responses show you everyone is on your side and backing your attempts. Hope this time you do not disappoint yourself and believe in yourself enough to actually quit.
  • weewillem December 31, 2018 | 3:53
    Hi folks, thanks so much for your constructive comments, it's been a great help to me.

    Happiness, thanks so much for making me think hard about this predicament. I too went through my old posts. I was so happy when I'd quit before.

    If I don't quit now, I'll either die trying or spend the rest of my life being a miserable smoker
  • Happiness December 31, 2018 | 18:16
    So good to know you are still with us weewillem. I loved a phrase someone wrote "either I kill the desire to smoke, or it will kill me". I am betting on you!Try the meditation tape i posted. I did respond to you as well under John100's post. Happy New Year!
  • Happiness January 05, 2019 | 2:35
    Hi weewilliam. Congrats to you for making it to the two weeks again. I read that somewhere and just wanted to send you my vote of confidence. The worst part of the journey is over. You are very practiced at living life as a non-smoker so the rest of the journey is yours to finish with the Belief that you will. If those doubts come back, re read your posts or other post that touched you personally in some regard. Review your reasons for doing this journey at all. Don't throw away all of your hard work and the chance to finally be free. It is a great feeling and it is within your grasp. You CAN do it!
  • weewillem January 05, 2019 | 6:40
    Thanks for your support Happiness. At this point I cannot imagine being a smoker again. I think it would be prudent at this stage to identify what could possibly happen to make me want to smoke again, and how to handle that.
  • Happiness January 05, 2019 | 10:28
    Thats great news Weewilliam. I am so happy for you. Now if we can just get PuffNoMore over the hump. You stay in this great frame of mind and in the good place.. Let it beg for food and laugh at its cries. It's cries now remind you that it's end is near and you have won!

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