Stories & experiences

Kennie
16
Stories
22/04/2018
Joined

Major Slip up. New quit date

Posted in Getting started 18 Nov 2018
9 Comments

I hate myself for slipping up majorly. Had two deaths in the family and fell into minor depression and major anxiety. What is wrong with me. I knew there was no such thing as having only “one smoke”. That escalated quickly into 7-10 cigarettes a day.

The self-hate is killing me. Man I feel like crap. This is my third attempt of quitting. I cry, and I hate it but I still reach for that sickening nicotine stick. I know I should focus on other ways to deal with my issues and that I should focus on living a more fulfilled life and that smoking is sooo bad for me.

I honestly feel hopeless.

Here goes nothing.

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9 Comments

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  • Leeann , Central Coast November 18, 2018 | 10:51
    Oh Kennie please give yourself a break. Im so sorry for your losses. It's ok most of us have all been where you are right now. I take my hat off to you that you are acknowledging not only that it wasn't the best choice but here you are willing to try again. I too have quit heaps of times in my life for 3 & 6 month stints and my best effort was a 7 year quit but i somehow always go back. Not anymore though I am 5 months quit now and I've wised up this time around and now I see those poison sticks for what they are, they're not our friends and they actually give you nothing but self loathing a and shame. So please be kind to yourself lovely and give yourself a break. Just pick yourself up dust yourself off and square those shoulders as today is a brand new day, you can do this you know you can!!
  • Kennie November 18, 2018 | 11:31
    Hey Leeann,
    Thankyou for your encouragement. I needed that. I wish you all the best and all the strength on your quit journey.
    I will forgive myself for now and literally take it one day at a time.
    It's funny, my last quit period lasted 6 months and I thought I had it under control. Guess I left my guard down and compromised. Now I know that when you think you "have it under control" YOU DON'T.
    Once again thanks and best wishes to you.
  • Leeann , Central Coast November 18, 2018 | 12:10
    Yes just go back to the basics and focus on getting through one day at a time, if you think too far ahead it can feel too overwhelming. Just keep busy and when those cravings come don't entertain the idea for a second. Just remind yourself you do not want to smoke its just the addiction talking. Yep youve got it guard up all the time. Make time for yourself too to be kind to yourself, a nice walk, long soak in the bath (whatever helps you feel relaxed). You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit, sdome people can only dream of a 6 month quit. Who cares how many cracks at it that it takes us to quit as long as we reach the destination of being free from the slavery. I found slow deep breaths helped ease the cravings and helps calm yourself also when you feel anxious. Stay strong Kennie you are back on the right path so don't t grow that towel in you cannot let the addiction beat you.
  • Leeann , Central Coast November 18, 2018 | 12:10
    Oops meant to write throw that towel in😊
  • Robn November 18, 2018 | 16:04
    Hi Kennie, Leeann is one smart lady, she knows what she is talking about.....do not beat yourself up....what is the point?
    This is your life...who cares if someone else quit the first time they tried...good for them. But they are not you. We are all addicts everyday for the rest of our days.....all we have to do to win on this journey is not smoke! We are never 100% out of the woods.....we can only commit to not smoking TODAY......and if we live our lives doing that we win. Come on, you want this, so go earn it.
  • Red-67 November 19, 2018 | 5:05
    No need to beat yourself up.. Just pick yourself up and go again.. Realize, that, in no way did a smoke help. You were still thinking like a smoker. A non smoker does not go for that one, when things get bad. I do not agree with the idea that we will always be addicts, or always be smokers. You can make the choice to become a non smoker, not even just an ex smoker. I WAS a smoker for 45+ years, but I have been free for nearly 2 years now, and knew that I was free within the first month.. You can do it too :)
  • Loriwillquit November 19, 2018 | 22:22
    Great encouragement people. One day at a time, look forward to feeling proud that day when u wake up snd u didn’t smoke the day before. Then try and do the same thing the next day x
  • Joann November 20, 2018 | 10:05




    You can do this Kennie. I know how hard it is to quit. I have also tried so many times and always got sucked back in. If you do slip up it is ok just try again.
    I found that I had to change things in my life. I started going for walks, I use a vap to help me and I suck on a few nicabate lozenges during the day.
    Every day is a new day. I understand that stress seems to make it so much harder but the day you get through a rough day without a smoke you will then be able to get through more and more of these days.
  • Kennie November 22, 2018 | 7:54
    Thanks you guys for the support. Day 3 now. Funny, I have not had any withdrawals yet.
    I must admit, I am avoiding my smoker buddies and not going to places where I used to smoke but then, that's such an ex-smoker thing to do. I should be free to go wherever I want and be friends with whomever with no thought, like a non-smoker.
    Really need to get into this Non-smoker mind frame. Less fear of relapse, more confidence to be smoke-free.

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