Some days I feel as if I am using a lot of energy to stay afloat instead of drowning in my mental illness. I call it treading water. Sometimes I delay buying cigarettes for a day and a half. The last packet I had had twelve left and the quit line encouraged me to destroy them. I am now in day thirteen of quitting. I have been rewarding myself. Each day I have something from the supermarket worth three or four dollars. Once a week I buy myself a pot plant. I am looking forward to two days time. When I get fourteen days smoke-free I am buying myself a bag of potting mix. Go me.