Stories & experiences

Northern Sydney

Living with a smoker

Posted in Hints and tips 22 Mar 2018

HI all,

I noticed a few people here live with a smoker but manage to keep off the ciggies. My partner is coming back next Tuesday and he'll bring in the cigarettes again even though I ask him to hide them, or just bring in a few for him and not leave packs leaving around. I really want the next 4 weeks to be no relapsing. I really admire people who have quit and have partners who keep smoking. And omg, it stinks so badly too. Really horrid. I remember getting into my car about 7th day ciggie free and freaked out how strong the smell of cigarettes were in my car. I had left 2 butts in ashtray from long trip at Xmas. It was like all of a sudden my smell returned. Anyway, I am determined not to poison myself on any cigarettes in the future. Wish me luck!!

Report abuse


Showing oldest to newest. Swap comments order
  • Steve01 March 22, 2018 | 22:49
    Hi Liza
    Yeah, I'm one of those who lives with a smoker so I know well what your up against. It wasn't easy for me and because those cigarettes were there on the back table for sure helped concrete my choice to fail. But, I realized over time that blaming my partner for the failure simply because the smokes were sitting there and I gave in was wrong even though she could have been more supportive and kept them ticked out of the way somewhere. My resolve needed toughening up and it did.
    I just kept reminding myself how wonderful it was to be out of smokers prison and remind myself how annoyed I'd be with myself if I gave in again for one minute of suffocating satisfaction.
  • Sharn, Mid North Coast March 23, 2018 | 11:40
    Good Luck Liza. I could never quit while I lived with my smoker ex. Only when I fell pregnant & breastfed the kids, I didn't smoke for about 3 years. Every time I gave up, which was often, he would eventually say just have one, it's ok, your stressed, relax, one won't hurt but as we know it does. Oh & here's another..... "your so boring when you don't drink & smoke". You may have to really put your foot down & explain just how difficult it is having it around you at this time. I'm sure you already have. I'm sure some smokers secretly don't really want you to stop as that leaves them smoking alone. We used to have 2 verandahs, so at one point I set up my own personal space on one and he had the other. I created a beautiful peaceful spot surrounded by plants and flowers and that's where I sat for my coffee or evening wine with a book but NO smokes, it was lovely and relaxing. I loved it but it didn't last coz he didn't respect my space & slowly filled it with dirty ashtrays & beer bottles as it was a nicer spot than his. Sorry, I'm not sounding promising am I but I had a pretty hard wall up against me. Although it is hard living with a smoker it is certainly not impossible (remember, you've had it with smoking no matter what gets in your way!) - maybe you could create your own little "smoke free" zone with fresh plants giving you clean air to breath, it might just work for you. You CAN do it. Prove to me you can do what I coulnd't.
  • LizaRokka, Northern Sydney March 24, 2018 | 14:01
    Thank you.

You need to register or log in to leave a comment.