Stories & experiences

AnnieBear
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Stories
13/09/2016
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How I started again!

Posted in Hints and tips 31 May 2017
2 Comments

Hi everyone

Sitting here reading all the amazing and inspiring stories I felt the need to contribute. I think it may help somebody (even one person). I quit 15 years ago for 4 years. I was trying to get pregnant and then I did and stayed quit.

My story is more about how I succumbed to temptation and how I started smoking again. My husband and I got into a habit in the evening of sitting out in the garden in the lovely cool summers and talking. It was incredibly romantic and relaxing and a wonderful time. One night my husband offered me a puff of his cigarette and I took it. :(

This turned into having just one cigarette in the evening with him.

This then turned into having him leave me one or two for the day.

This of course in time turned into "hun, I'll go get the smokes" and back to full time puff monster !!!

I soul-searched recently as to why I did that and I think I have come up with the reasons. I desperately wanted to keep the connection between me and my husband. I was scared that if I refused to do it then the moments would end. I felt close to him because of the smoking.

All of this, reading it back, is absurd. He loved me all through 4 years of being a non-smoker. He loved me for all those nights and still sat with me and enjoyed those moments BEFORE I had that one puff.

It was all in MY silly head. I should have taken the time to analyse my thinking before slipping back into this horrible habit !!

Maybe this hits home with someone else and they can stop themselves before they get trapped too.

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2 Comments

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  • Kim26 May 31, 2017 | 21:08
    Hey AnnieBear,

    Thanks for sharing your story. Unfortunately that's how it happens for so many.
    The great positive from this is that he loves you regardless and that's a really beautiful and special thing.
    I'm sure we can all relate in some ways. An example for me was stress, I'd think it made me feel better but it was the opposite.
  • rtvn June 02, 2017 | 16:42
    Just one puff is the most horrible things for the ex-smokers.I stopped smoking for 45 days.One rainy day I thought I quit smoking for 45 days so if I take one puff nothing will happen but it hooked me up again with in a week...
    I am planning to quit again and i will never think about 'one puff'.

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