Stories & experiences

Hi Red,

Congratulations regarding the light you have
found for yourself.

Hey Red,
You do you, and you do the best you there is :) To be honest, I'm the last person who would expect my quit experience to be a walk in the park. I can honestly say I had never heard anyone talk about quitting without mentioning how terribly difficult it was.
I can see what you're doing, but everyone else is thinking that it can't be so easy for you, if it is so damned difficult for everyone else. I read a couple of forums and the number one question people ask is about cravings. I can't comment, because I had a couple of days in the very beginning when I may have been having cravings, or I might just have been having nicotine withdrawal. A slightly queasy tummy was all it amounted to, though, so it certainly was bearable!
They say it's all in the mind and they're right. If only people could see that, they would see through the hype immediately.

Yes Congrats Red, Keep up the good work and I'm glad the book worked for you.

Thanks, but I did not use the book.. It just seems that Mr. Carr, found a way to share the message I could not.. I totally failed.. By trying, too hard, apparently, to say, or show, how it can be.. How you can quit, and, break free.. They just think I was bragging.. So, that's why I recommend the book :)

May I ask who you are referring to as "they"?
Honestly I wanted to congratulate you and
for the life of me I don't understand what
seems to be your attacking style responses?

Sorry, I should qualify my comment by stating
that it appears to me that you are leaving
so many messages under other people's
posts about this kind of thing a fair bit.
I gave not seen a single post where others
have been even remotely nasty. I just
think that perhaps a few don't agree with
your opinion entirely but that should be
okay right?
I originally replied to this post because
there were no responses and I didn't want
for you to feel excluded or isolated.
I simply kept it way shorter than I
normally would have because I just want
very much for this all to just stop.
I just don't think it's healthy or necessary.

To Kim; The only negative, or attacking, I see, just came from you...
I responded to Mike, because he thought I read the book..
In my post, I was saying that, in reading back over some of my post, or comments, I could see how, some could, easily, be taken as boasting, or bragging, or pushing my opinion too hard... So, in my effort to share something, I had offended, or stepped on some toes.. ( THEY ) simply meaning, more than one, clearly did not like something I said.... As far as the, "so many messages", all 3, I was just saying why, in the future, I would just be recommending Mr. Carr's book, and this post, was only meant as an apology, first, because I had failed, and secondly, to anyone, I had offended... I never said, anything, about anybody being nasty, nor did I feel like anyone was being nasty, until now !... I was, assuming, that your comment " the light you have found for yourself ", after that post, was not meant to be sarcastic.... And, you are right.. This is totally unnecessary, so I will make it easy, and just say goodbye... Or, maybe I should say, hello, so you can turn that around too...
-------------------
To everyone; I am not a negative, or overbearing person, and I am truly sorry if I have made anyone feel that way, or if I have offended anyone in any way. I have nothing but good wishes for all of you... Good luck.. Willpower, and goodbye, to you all :)

Hey,
I wasn't attacking you or being nasty.
To be honest, yes in this post and in
a round about way you were apologising
but it's been way more than 3 posts.
I'm not talking about posts you created
yourself. I'm including other peoples where
you say "apparently they" a bit.
I've tried so hard to be positive with you
always and I really liked you.
Look, if you want to view me in any way
you see fit that's fine but I honestly think
this should stop and let's try to support
others and each other and move on.
I'm not a nasty person Red. That is so
far from being the truth that it's not
even funny.

Hi Red,
I'd really like to resolve this and I'm going
to try and perhaps help you understand
hopefully what I was meaning.
Firstly in this post, yes you were admitting
that you could see how others may have taken
your original post. The one where you
said it was your opinion.
The problem I had personally was that
after you wrote this post, you then kept
posting under other people's posts referring
to a couple or more people as "they" and that
"they" thought you were bragging about
how easy it was for you to quit.
I really don't mean to sound mean but I found
the use of "they" as being rude. It's far better
to address people and I guess in my eyes
it then lessened THIS original post.
Meaning on one hand, you're saying sorry
(which you didn't even have to do) but
then on another, your posts about they and
bragging etc kept going. Gosh I'm hoping
I'm making sense.
I still think it is wonderful that you have
found the light that appears to have
helped you immensely but please, it's really
not that easy for so many others. I also
read somewhere that you felt nobody needed
brain altering drugs to give up but many do
need them. I guess I didn't like your use
of wording their either. Perhaps just call
a drug by its name? It might help some
to feel they are not being judged.
Everyone's Quit experience is different
and in order to truly help others or I'll even
say me, remain smoke free, an open
mind is needed.
I sincerely hope this helped you understand
my point of view and the reason why I
posted what I did.

Wow.........My jaw just dropped...........After a day or so out of the loop on this post I caught back up to this one and I'm sure I want nothing to do with it. No explanations needed.

Red and Kim, it seems at some time or another you have both misunderstood one another. I really think that apologies have been met from both sides. Do not take things personal as on this site everyone expresses his/her opinion openly. No need for a "cat and dog fight".Red, do not say goodbye.......people here especially newbies can learn from your and our experiences in quitting. Hope to see your return in coming days. Cheers.

That is the last thing I want to happen. A
cat and dog fight or for you to leave and I
genuinely mean that. I ended up in tears
yesterday because of this whole thing.
I understand it's an online forum but
regardless if I care, I care and I guess it's
why it bought me to tears. Am I a softie because
of that? I'll answer, yes I am.

I think not knowing the tone of the conversation works against us sometimes, cause you can write something and not know how the reader is going interpret it. It could be interpreted aggressive or passive you never know because the tone of the conversation doesn't exist. Unless your an excellent writer with descriptive adjectives detailing your point that completely leaves everything answered your bound to take things the wrong way. Sometimes it only takes one word to make the reader take everything out of context, and that's when things like this happen. So that's my take on the whole situation.

OMG. I have had exactly the same experience Red. And I also wanted to Share this with others struggling and so deserving of some relief on the constant "nagging beacon" (however brief) I accidentally fell into the right mindset, not sure when or why. In our exuberance we may come across as Holier Than Thou without meaning to . We just don't see why others they don't get it like we do. No fault of theirs, but they have to understand how nicotine sabbotage the brain, and how the brain has to be retrained about thinking it needs nicotine to be happy. Allan Carr does it in 400 pages....so don't be hard on yourself Red. I didn't get any oh wow's about it either. The book is a great read, I couldn't put it down. Hubby is reading it to quit with me now. I am only half way through.

The best way to explain it is like doing a puzzle with a picture in it that some see and some don't. Once you see it , you cannot unsee it. Even if you do see it, if you do not really genuinely WANT to quit you won't. Others may have no real intention , but see the light. and hence, quit. It is the Need or Want, and the Mind Set than enable you to embrace a new life as a non smoker . No feelings of being deprived of something that you no longer even want. It really is easy and so painless. Unfortunately we just haven't found a way to explain it without 400 pages. Everyone have a great smoke free day.

Some might wonder why , if i don't need support, then why did i join here. lol.... like Red i just want everyone, .... or at least one person to learn and benefit through my experience. I quit the other help line, because like Red i wanted the word out. I wanted to end needless suffering . To some, quitting literally becomes life and death. Administration asked me to start my own threads, but still I don't know if I got through to any one Red. I share your frustration.

I also made a post apologizing for monopolizing other peoples threads, and for being viewed as pushy. I totally get it Red. So exciting, and so wanna save the world, we got overzealous. Maybe between the two of us we can make an impact on a few. Our posts are out there..our stories..... . that's all we can do.