Stories and experiences by: Bronte

Hi just checking in, will have to check in more often so I can keep up with all the new posts, good to see there are so many. I'm really happy to see how well everyone is doing. There are too many posts to comment individually sooo a BIG congratulations to EVERYONE who is staying on track and good luck to all the new people here. Stick with it you CAN do it!!!!!!

Just a quick note to everyone. Keep strong over the weekend and if the kids are on holidays like mine are, stay busy and enjoy playing with them. We don't need cigarettes to enjoy our life!! They only keep us from doing the things we truly love to do so keep on keeping on with the journey.

It's such a great feeling to wake up in the mornings. After my night out, I feel happy and refreshed this morning instead of having the whole day ruined. It's great knowing that I CAN do it & still have an enjoyable night. I think practice makes perfect - if we keep practicing we will get there. Just as I've got over the urge to have one with my morning coffee over time I hope I will get over the...

Well that was a really short lived turning corner if ever there was one. Now with just under an hour to get ready I'm feeling anxious and panicked. I don't know what happened. I think it was because my son said, mum, can we go early so we can play. That means I'd have to buy a drink & socialise without sitting at the table with food in front of me so won't know what to do with myself....hhhmmmmm ...

I can't wait to go out tonight. I'm going out to the pub as a surprise going away dinner for a friend. The reason I'm looking forward to it is because I won't have to smoke. I think I've finally turned a bit of a corner. Instead of feeling apprehensive and on edge that I won't be able to or that I can't because silly me has given up again, arrgghh. Instead of being annoyed about it and not wantin...

Today I calculated 100 days smoke free on my calendar. Should have been more by now but I had to take the days off where I messed up. I still wanted to celebrate my 100 days without smoking though & try to forget the days I messed up. 100 days is better than none! I've saved over $1,000 & can't wait to do another 100 days without falling off this time. I know I can do it and keep going to hit my ...

Life is so much better on the other side of smoking! I've been so busy & often not having any internet access as my computer died but still checking in when I can. There's some very inspirational posts & I'm so happy to hear everyone's achievements and still going strong. Keep going everyone you are doing so well. Together we can beat it. It's worth every challenging moment to get to the other si...

I can't believe the response to my recent post. I was scared to come back here but now realise I did not need to have any such hesitation. I now feel part of the support group again when I was feeling lost and alone while being away from it. So.... a really big thank you to you. I've decided I can only be true to myself if I start from day 1 again, which was yesterday, so day 2 now & doing just f...

I really don't know what to say here....I'm just so ashamed of myself but under the circumstances I really can't blame myself either. I'm only human. I feel like I've let everyone down, especially myself. I went 3 whole months smoke free from the 19th of April to the 3rd of July. But.....then.... my mum was coming to look at a unit to buy in a retirement home nearby me after her recent heart atta...

Hi all. I just used my amazing, brand new, slow juicer for the first time, it's simply theeee best. This is my big reward for making it 10 weeks, well, nearly 67 days so far. I have wanted one for ever but never have been able to afford it. Not surprising. I'm going to juice myself to even better health. My body is loving me for it already. I can't believe it, I haven't been here for a week or so...

Last night I had a dream.... I was with the kids teacher of all people in his musty underground cellar. It was jam packed full of bottles of every type of alcohol you could possibly think of. I was sitting down cross legged with a small group of people on the cold, concrete floor. The atmosphere was dark and dingy. A dim light in the corner lit up the dust and cobwebs. Smoke filled the room as...

I got my results back from my chest x-ray today and although they weren't good they weren't drastically bad either. Well, according to what they say, I'm sure I'll live to tell another story. The x-ray result was that I should have a follow up CT scan but the GP say's it's not worth doing as the radiation could have adverse effects on it's own being in that area. Considering the damage so far a C...

Oh my God.....all week I've been so fantastic, not to mention encouraging everyone else but I'm not actually so great myself. So...tonight the kids are off to a lovely friends house, time for me to relax right? & what does that mean? Get out the scotch & cigarettes & crank up the music usually. Not this time, I thought, I feel too fabulous to go back to that. No, I'll have a bath & watch a movie ...

"Best Day Of My Life" I had a dream so big and loud I jumped so high I touched the clouds Wo-o-o-o-o-oh [x2] I stretched my hands out to the sky We danced with monsters through the night Wo-o-o-o-o-oh [x2] I'm never gonna look back Whoa, I'm never gonna give it up No, please don't wake me now (2, 3, 4) Oo-o-o-o-oo This is gonna be the best day of my life My li-i-i-ife Oo-o-o-o-o...

I don't know why but week 5 is proving rather difficult. My brain has actually been telling me and very nearly convincing me that I NEED cigarettes to get through the stress. This is a little different from the beginning where I was just winging to myself saying I want one, I really desperately just want one. I'll do anything, pleading....It's changed tactics, trying to rationalize with me, the v...

I just read some statistics from 2008/2009. Apparently in 2008: 2,664 people died from lung cancer. In 2009: 3,339 people were diagnosed with lung cancer - Only a mere 18% of those diagnosed will actually still be living in 5 years time & probably not living well? So, I guess now in 2015 they're all dead. That was a while ago but I'm guessing the stats are similar if not worse today? Come on peop...

I feel like a sitting duck! Are we all just sitting ducks, helpless, floating around in a big pond with cigarettes hovering above us with guns just waiting for the right moment to shoot? That's how I feel at the moment. I can't help feeling vulnerable. I just don't want to think about it anymore, all this trying is starting to get exhausting, trying to be positive & on guard all the time. Seems e...

Week 3! Yay! Just saying goodnight & good luck everyone. Tomorrow is a brand new day! Here's to a cleaner, fresher future for us all! We can beat this thing together!

I have a friend coming over for an unexpected drink or two. Had my jamies on ready for bed, don't even think I had a craving today at all. Already getting my heart palpitations back which have all but disappeared over the last 2 weeks. Feeling nervous & anxious again but shops are closed, my friend doesn't smoke and I don't have any so I guess I'll just have to see how the other half live withou...

It's ok people, no need to panic. I am ok. Was just having a Linda Blair moment, I think I was possessed by the very same demon. It's fled far away now I hope, never to return. Back in the real world, much more pleasant to sit down with the kids in front of the fire for tasty honey soy chicken & macaroni & cheese! Phew.

Oh man, oh man. This is so horrible. I can't stand it. Hate to hear myself say it but I would kill for a cigarette or die for one, I am so desperate I feel like chewing my bloody arm off. I thought this was my best day? it's kept me in the dark all day then brought out the big guns tonight. This evil little stick of chemicals is so insidious to do this to people, which makes me more determined ...

I just realised yesterday that just like the 20yr abusive relationship I've just freed myself from, the cigarette is not much different. It's my other abusive relationship that's gone on for 26yrs. I thought it was there to help me, it was always there for me when I was down or alone or stressed out, it was comforting to have around. But what I didn't realise was that it was controlling me, manip...

Ok, another problem had to come creeping up on me this morning. All morning I had been surprised that I had not wanted one at all & was feeling quite proud of myself. Until... my sister (a big smoker & drinker) came along to pick up some of my rubbish with her partner to take to the tip for me. She has a beer in her hand & they have friends coming over later for drinks so she asks me to come al...

I've been behaving a little like a child this evening who's had their bag of lollies taken away. I keep whining in my head to myself, stamping my feet, huffing & puffing away - why can't I have one, why? Can't I just have one, seriously. So I have to be the adult too & tell myself why, over & over again! Oh, that's right, I remember now...it's disgusting & expensive & it will kill me!

So what does one do when one doesn't smoke....hmmmm I'm going to turn up the music & get some stuff done - I've got such a big long list of things "TO DO", no wonder I never get it done, I'm too busy sitting on the back step thinking about it, well now I can actually GET IT DONE! Yay...off I go..

Nearly went off the rails yesterday but got to bed with my book quick smart so I wouldn't have to think about it anymore. So, another 'feeling fresh' morning is always a good start. Whilst on my morning walk came up with a little strategy as only on day 6 & having that 1 year goal in mind seems rather overwhelming - arghh.. sooo long to go. Then I thought, well it's only 6 days but that's nearly ...

Well, thank goodness this horrendous day is nearly over!!! I seem to have managed through, somehow...I can't wait to get to bed & get moving onto day 6! Hoping it's a better day.

This whole thing is getting me down & angry. All these people struggling so hard, it's like torture & so sad. It shouldn't have to be this way. Today is day 5 & I've been so positive, trying to be supportive of others helps me stay positive myself but today my social anxiety has got the better of me & brought me way down. I'm annoyed that I suffer from it, makes me feel like I don't have any hope...

Feeling stronger than ever. Every time I have the urge I keep imagining myself kicking or punching and smashing through a brick wall which represents the wall of cigarettes that have been stopping me from kicking it until now. Those poor, sorry packets are going down big time!! ha ha...they'll never stop me now .....

Why does my mouth & tongue feel weird, I can't stand the feeling it's so annoying, I guess it's obviously feeling the need to put a smoke in my mouth but I can't so what to do. Lollies just won't cut it I don't think? When does that feeling stop, I can't stand it, will just have to get to sleep as quick as I can & forget it. I hate this! Cigarettes shouldn't even exist in the world!

Hi, I'm 42yrs old and have smoked since I was 16 - able to quit several times but always went back. I woke up this morning feeling terrible & wondered why I keep doing this over and over again. I want to feel fresh & happy that the kids jump all over me to get me up and about not resentful. Actually I want to be up & organised before them. I smoked every last cigarette last night & couldn't bring...