NRT
Hello all,
I am writing today bc I have been involved in an emotional roller coaster ride for quite some time with cigarettes. I have been smoking since I was a child of 12-13 years and am 51 now. I have been quitting for over 15 years. Currently I am smoke free 49 days. I am using the patch.
I guess I should explain that I learned from experience that apart from the physical I am psychologically addicted as well. I become emotionally labile, depressed and anxious when I quit. I should probably be on an antidepressant but had a lot of side effects that I just couldn’t tolerate anymore, insomnia and episodes of vertigo. And I also had a bad reaction bc I did not taper and just went off of the antidepressant-big mistake!!
Anyway, here I am and it’s been tough mostly emotionally. Today I told myself that I just couldn’t deal with the feelings I was happy and that I was DEFINITELY going to go to the store and drive to the beach and smoke 5-10 then requit. I was planning on it and was relieved but also felt badly bc I was doing so well and I knew that if I blew my quit today I would probably blow it for good even if I intended to requit. So I decided to do it. All the while I kept praying that I wouldn’t. Then I kept telling myself that after I get gas I’ll do it, after I go to the grocery store I’ll do it, after I go to the gym, after my meeting. I also took a piece of nicotine gum to help hold me over. Eventually I forgot about how bad I NEEDED one and my obsession stopped. If u asked me this am, I would have told u I was going to smoke. However, here I am at the close of another day, smoke free. I am proud of myself and grateful to God and thankful for the patch and gum. I am also thankful for this site and all of you bc it helps to bow off steam about all those thoughts, emotions etc
Wow, i am so glad you were able to keep postponing that one fatal cigarette . Tomorrow is a new day and day 50! Stay comfortable on the patch with enough nicotine and master living as a non-smoker before you try to lower the nicotine. When you are feeling in the right mindset, then taper down or go cold turkey, whichever you choose, when you are ready.
Don't try to get ahead of yourself. It is great that you are not smoking cigarettes. I think the patches are about a 10 to 12 week process, but could take longer. It is not a race. Everyone is different and you also deal with depression it seems. We all are psychologically addicted to cigarettes, i hope you don't feel alone on that count. I see some here on Nrt for 5 months. Blow off some steam here if need be. We understand. We also know you can do it, just please try to remain positive, and hate the cigarette for the best results.