Day 82 - Keeping on going on
Well it is Friday afternoon and now almost 82 days (I am not going to stay up until midnight to complete the 24 hours and say I have legitimately accomplished 82 days). Part of me thinks 'well that wasn't so bad, was it?' and the other part of me says 'well why do I still want one when I arrive home with nothing particular to do'.
I am not teary like I was 4-6 weeks ago and it can really be six hours into the day before the thought of a cigarette even crosses my mine, let along a craving. I am looking back a little with rose-coloured glasses and thinking that it was not nearly as traumatic as I presumed it would be. But then a little voice reminds me there have been plenty of tough times and, likely enough, there will be more.
I still find there are empty half hours which I would have filled with a 3-4 ciggie session. Now I am filling them with a slightly smug feeling that I am conquering this dastardly habit, or by just breathing through the tingly feeling that comes with a craving.
At this stage, I think that the trap might be to be so bored with the process that I accidentally have one. But, actually, how is that going to happen? It's not going to happen because those neural pathways have been very seriously undermined and are not nearly as controlling as they once were.
My test this weekend is spending it with someone who smokes non-stop but I am confident that will just be a speed-hump and not a stop sign.
I hope all my quit buddies are feeling good and doing well.
Hi Fullofhope. Good to hear you getting on top of the struggle. I must say I think you will feel really good when you are with your smoking buddy and don't actually indulge. I hope he/she applauds your effort & know you will reciprocate by not making them feel like a social outcast. Good luck. Hope you post a story about how you felt In the company of a chain smoker & that it was not too traumatic and reinforced the fact that you and you alone are the mistress of your destiny.
I would never make anyone feel like a social outcast for smoking. My vivid memory is that the good people were non-judgemental and the narrow-minded ones were harsh. I want to stay on the side of good.
Sorry. Should have edited that message before posting. Not suggesting for a moment that you would ever belittle your friend. What I meant was that I hope your friend would not feel overwhelmed with your choice to become a non smoker. I know, there is nothing worse than a reformed know it all non smoker. Interesting, but my smoking friends are puzzled about my decision to stop. What's more they are always ready to give reasons for their decision to continue. Does make me feel a bit uncomfortable. But does not alter my decision to STOP.
I can see that it is a confusing dynamic. I promise to post about the experience. I figure I was in denial right up until the moment I stopped (even past the decision to stop). We'll see how it pans out ...
I work in a small office where the lady I work with often smokes in the doorway and majority of the time, I am ok with this - sometimes when I am feeling stressed, I wish I was out there with her! I find the hardest time when I am at home or out with friends and having a glass of wine and once upon a time they used to go hand in hand - now it is the re-educating that they don't need to actually go hand in hand and I can have that glass of wine without wanting to have a cigarette with it.. Or just night time in general..
You have done so well and I cannot wait till we no longer have any cravings
I have been mixing with smokers through out this journey, When im in the hotel I make a habit of going to the naughty corner(smokers bay) to mingle with the crowd and now wonder why these people are still smokn..Each to there own and dosnt bother me either way. Even let people smoke in me work car, dosnt bother me one bit, think the smell of smoke reminds me of the dark side and REALLY turns me off which I think is great
hey, great to read your post. You have been such a huge support to me. Enjoy being a non smoker. I remember Allen Carr saying something about looking at smokers faces while they are smoker,they hardly ever look relaxed!
I am so glad you separated the physical cravings from the thoughts to smoke.
I get that too. I still have some habits of smoking such as the ones I have in my daily routine. I have triggers like prompts or like a reminder or a pattern of when I was having more. And then the physical dependancy. Sometimes it seems alot to juggle.