Getting easier

This is my 6th day quitting. My last cigarette was on April 8th at 2:30am, 2014. I aim to keep it that way.

As I continue recovering I am noticing changes that I didnt think would change. The first thing I noticed was my mouth was producing saliva at an alarming rate, and I ended up spluttering all over the place as I spoke. I looked into it - smoking keeps your mouth very dry, as I'm sure you know. My mouth was getting used to being 'normal' again.

I'm a songwriter. I sing and write music constantly. By day 5 I was able to hold longer notes and my range improved slightly. I still can't hold 16 bar notes yet like I used to, but I'm getting closer at 12. When smoking, it was at 9...

The biggest difference? My mind is clearer. Sure, I'm persistently reminded myself that I've quit almost every damned hour, but when I'm not thinking about it, I find myself focusing more at work, at uni, in conversations - I'm not 'stalling till my next cig' as I used to. I am actually living.

I held on to cigarettes because of an intense emotion surrounding a soul-destroying breakup exactly two years ago. My ex manifested into the cigarettes I smoked and so long as I held onto them, I was holding onto a broken reality. I am using the strength to let all of that go, and to finally face it, to keep cigarettes out of my mouth for good.

I feel alive. In control. And dealing with life rather than hiding from it