Temptation
It’s been over 3 months and I’m still feeling so so miserable I’m so tired of the fight to not smoke have no idea how I’ve come this far but the truth is I’m bloody miserable. I have no other way to deal with life and I’m not sure how to keep going if I give in inlet myself and everyone down but being smoke free doesn’t make me happy either don’t know where to find the motivation to change have no energy so so fed up I can only put up with so much the menopause is chipping away at me and have no support to deal with life sorry I know I’m sounding so ungrateful I’m just buggered there is so much misfortune in the world I have no right to feel like this over a silly cigarette
I am sorry that you are still struggling so much with doing what should bring freedom and make you proud. Remember how proud you were that you actually quit smoking this time on the day that you set. How you find this site helpful and not feeling so quite alone. Others struggle as you do, and that makes me all the more determined to help you and them to find the joy in quitting and the mindset that makes it much easier.
Calculating that you wouild spend half a million over the next 25 years should get you to thinking. And how much tar will coat your lungs? Blowing some smoke through a tissue had me appalled.
Ask yourself how smoking again would make you feel better. I will bet that you will feel worse and lose some self esteem.
Be proud of your accomplishment and how you have stuck it out longer than milllions of others. You can do what you set out to do, I just wish that you could enjoy this journey as much as you would another goal that you set for yourself.
I have worked periodically over the years on my lawn or what was my weed bed. First I tackled the yellow dandilion heads from seeding and pulled the broadleaf so that the grassc ould see sun and fight back. Helping the grass to get stronger was a major step. Seeing the end of the tunnel is a process. I am hoping that you are seeing the progress and believe that there is an end in sight. Like weeding, it seems endless, but there is progress and I am feeling much more encouraged by what I am seeing (or not...lol) One day it will be minimal up keep and I actually find pulling weeds is theraputic. . I feel empowered!
Look on the bright side of things and dwell less on the negative. A positive outlook is the best in all life situations.
Thanks so much was feeling very emotional when I wrote the above had just finished Covid isolation and everything felt so hopeless, I’m still not finding it easy but I’ve started walking again and I’m trying to get my nutrition right and just take it one day at a time I think because I was so close to surgery and it got pushed back 8 weeks due to “Covid” rules it just bummed be out felt like it was all to hard and truthfully still feel that way a few times a day but try not to dwell on it and o ok yah forward.