Struggling
Hi,
Today is day 91 for me. I live in the US, and begin with using Chantix. Smoked first week then just didn’t want to smoke anymore... well I didn’t enjoy it. I found that I felt like I had all this extra time! Sounds silly, but I spent alit if town outside with my iPad playing games or watching shows so I could smoke when I wanted. No one at my home or friends smoke so that makes it easy since I am not around it. I am almost 50 and have smoked off and on since I was 30. My cigs have been my buddy, my go to, always there when I was happy, sad, stressed.... I quit the chantix a month in as it made me very sick to my stomach. These last few weeks have been getting harder and harder! The urge to smoke, to just have one, is really getting to me. I have had this package that has 4 left since I quit and tonight have taken them and staring at them. My husband is begging me not to, telling me I will be disappointed in myself.. I just don’t care anymore.. I can’t even remember why I quit really.. Why now am I struggling so badly? I am literally crying I am so frustrated! And the thing is.. I don’t feel any differnent from not smoking, things don’t taste any better... After 3 months I notice nothing different. I just don’t know how much longer I can do this.. Maybe I should ask Dr. about taking my Chantix again?
Hi Sterling,, you have come along way achieving 91 days, that is so awesome.
You are over alot of hurdles and still more to come, but its still achievable, those 4 smokes you still have are just temptations and after you have them, then what? Back to square 1 again... you certainly have done the hard yard road initially, do you really want to go back there?
Quit smoking aides like Champix are only assistance in getting you over the initial hurdle of quitting and the rest is up to you with Mind Piwer.
Smokes are a very false friend, yes they were always there when we wanted them, oir go to. They always made things right for a few minutes... but at the end we were a slave to them...we would walk over hot coals to get/have a smoke,
Your mind needs to be diverted away from this current situation, when you are feeling the way you do now...maybe go for a walk, go to a movie, visit non smoking friends, your mind needs to be clouded with other thoughts..
Please don't be fooled into thinking that after 3 months of not smoking that there is no change within yourself, where others around you would of noticed, and definatley noticed that you don't smell like an ashtray no more, now thats gotta be a definate bonus...
But like your hubby said.. you would be disappointed within yourself if you had a smoke... but its your call on what you want to do, but really deep down you do care, if you didnt you would not of wrote your mnessage, you would of just smoked those smokes like there was no tomorrow and then got another packet....
I hope you persevere in resisting, its really worth it in the end, not to be governed by a very false friend.
Mind power Sterling... you can do it.
Omg! Red and Jenno, thank you both for the replies! This is the first time ever in my life I have used a site to communicate through. Yes being around non-smokers makes it so much easier not to smoke, but they also don’t understand the stuggle or that false sense of comfort that cigarette gave me. I wished I could see the grossness of it! Lol.. I still miss it soooo much. I didn’t smoke last night. I put them away. Jenno, you were right in about if I didn’t care I wouldn’t have messaged. I do care, I just get angry that everyone else seems to get to have a vice or something to fall back on when upset and I have nothing. I don’t drink, drinking a coke now and then is my bad thing! Haha I just haven’t found anything to replace it yet not sure if I ever will. I just keep ignoring the urges to were I hope more days happen that I just don’t think about it anymore. I want to be healthy for my kids and future grandkids and not look older than I am etc.. it’s makes me feel good that you both read my message and responded. You, as ex smokers have given me encouragement! Thank you thank you for listening!!