day 16 champix

I was a smoker for 21 years and I'm 34. I heard about champix 4 years ago then it popped up in conversation six months ago. A bunch of acquaintances, one of whom was a forty year smoker of two packs a day said she'd had good results from champix and has stayed quit for seven years. So when I got I'll with a sinus infection I harassed the doctor into prescribing it for me. He wasn't keen. But somehow I knew I didn't want to put it off anymore. His words of encouragement were " its 30 percent champix, 70 per cent you". A true non smoker, lucky man. Luckily also he was wrong. At least so far. I've tried to quit twice before, each attempt lasting a miserable 24_hours. The last one though really opened my awareness to how addicted I was, and how much of my life was focused on smoking. It also made me realise the emotional dependence I have had on smoking. Honestly, up to a year ago I had no idea of just how deeply entangled in this addiction I was and still am. But I'm fighting it now. And I want to win. I noticed the effects of champix straight away. The first two days I was quite high and happy. From between 9 to 15 smokes a day, with my first one as soon as I rolled out of bed, I was down to four smokes on day two. I sat on three for the next three days and actually felt bad like I had failed for smoking at all. Now I'm glad I had two support people who said, don't give up before the miracle happens and the other one said just keep smoking it takes at least a week for the champix to kick in. My forty year friend said it took longer than most people for her and champix but her doc encouraged her to persevere. So rather than throwing the baby out with the bath water, I kept taking pills and smoking my three a day until four days ago when it became one and this morning I smoked a half cigarette and that was my last. Its been such a long two weeks, some ups and downs and insights. I don't want to smoke but I feel like an indefinable something is missing. I never knew the physiology of smoking until now. I feel many things from this new non smoking place. I've gained 5 kilos since starting though and need to watch what I'm eating. Still I'd rather be temporarily chubby than inevitably emphys