The first day of quitting smoking
I've received a lot of help from this blog as well as i-quitsmoking(dotcom) who has a lot to say in the first 30 days and no more after that. After 30 days, I started coming here more often because I wanted to see how people were feeling.
I want to help someone if I can because its only right that we give back to others since others have given to us. I want to remember the first day I recently quit smoking after having smoked for more than 30 years.
I stopped smoking at about 5:30 pm on Wednesday 2nd of March 2016. I'd just had a cigarette in my car and quite honestly I was overly stressed and found it hard to breathe. Smoking definitely did not help at all. I was in the middle of a legal battle and faced uncertain problems in my business. I had lots of reasons to be stressed and smoking was (I thought) a way to counter stress. Of course I'm not that stupid and I know that smoking 40 cigarettes a day for several decades does not reduce one's stress. In fact, the older I get, the more the cigarettes/nicotene seemed to weigh on me. I'm really an addict in the 1st degree! I know that smoking does not help me at all and I've hated myself for not being strong enough to give up. Actually, at the time I was smoking I did not know that I hated myself so much. How do I know now that I hated myself? Well, its because I am pleased when I don't smoke. I'm on day 53 without a cigarette and I am pleased about it. This is progress for me and I want to keep it up for the rest of my time. Whats wrong with that?
Well, on June 16th I gave my packet of Dunhill Reds to a friend and told him " Thats it!" .. "I am quitting as of today!"
Some people say that the first day is the hardest. I'm not sure about that but for me, the first day was definitely a blur. I felt so bad from all those years of smoking and my lungs had not relaxed for so many years. At the back of my mind was the thought " I need to make it through one day!" I knew that if I could make it for 24 hours, then I go to the next hurdle which is 48 hours. I managed to do this every day, sometimes white knuckling it and when I got urges to smoke I either got something tasty to eat or went for a long run or a walk.
I don't know whats going to happen in the future but I think that I stand a really good chance of becoming an ex smoker for the rest of my life. I want that, so its not wrong to wish it!
I know that when I am smoking (or taking any form of nicotene) I am feeding an addiction. I believe that in the middle of my addiction my will power is not very strong because I crave for nicotene. Its only when I've stopped taking the nicotene and had time for my lungs to relax and my breathing feel better do I really have the capacity to sit down and decide that smoking is really something I don't want to do.
Here is the crazy thing about many smokers. The heavy smokers find any excuse to smoke. We have to smoke at every meal, every event and every break and even in between breaks. Making decisions always require a cigarette. So, those who want to quit smoking have to light up and consider whether or not they want to smoke. Thats what my problem was. Actually, deep down inside I have always wanted to quit but I've never given myself a chance. So, for me.. the best advice for the first day is not to think too much about why you should quit. You should simply quit because its good and then get enough "nicotene free" time behind you to ask yourself do I enjoy not smoking. I think most people are going to enjoy the benefits of being smoke free, especially those of us who are older and have never given our lungs a break!
I made a typo "
Well, on June 16th I gave my packet of Dunhill Reds to a friend " should of been"
Well, on 2nd March I gave my packet of Dunhill Reds to a friend "
thanks for the great read and just what I needed to hear I am a real addict :)
26 days for me and some haven't been easy, just got off the ph. had a chat with the nice lady at lifeline, I have done a lot of my healing work after stopping other addictions and stopping smoking is just a new layer of healing to be done, so I might have a few more chats.
relearning being nice to myself and doing nice things for me :)
thanks again for sharing your story manchild.
IC
Hello IC,
26 days! I hope you see this and know that I am happy for you. Well done! Some days have not been easy for me too. I met someone today who has not seen me for some time (they knew me as a smoker) and they told me that I really needed to lose some weight. Well, its obvious to me now that since I've given up smoking, I'm putting on weight. Thing is, I feel much better!! So, I'm not going to worry about it too much. I am going to go for a long walk right now but more for getting some of that "exercise drug" release in my brain. I find that doing exercise (not strenuous) for a reasonable period of time releases something in my brain that helps me relax and forget about ciggys. Over these last few weeks I've gone for lots of walks to curb my desire for nicotene. Well, I'm going for a walk now!!! Seeya again!
thanks manchild,
you are doing great too, I know 1st hand its not so easy to stop, but we are doing it :) and yep put on a few KG's and don't care right now :)
yes moving is good releases serotonin in the brain which is a feel good and yep I do go for walks also nothing heavy just move.
I just have to lighten up on myself not beat myself up for my sleep being all outta wack and some other things, but I need to remember my body is healing from years of having toxic smoke put in to it, so yes be nice to you and keep up the great work!! hope had a good walk.
IC
Hey IC,
I literally just came back from the walk and took a shower. If you think you are the only one who has sleeping patterns outta wack, then think again! Its 3:15 am here and I am on day 53. Mind you, I have jet lag as well. Not every day has been like this but they certainly come and go!! I'm not getting the cravings like I used to but you are so damn right about our bodies. I believe (as you said) that my body is healing from many years of having toxic smoke put into it. I know for sure that I am used to living oxygen deprived and now that the lid has been lifted off, my body is kinda saying "Hey, what the hell is going on?"
Enjoy your walks!
yeah sleep when I sleep MC no pressure @ day 27 still in shock I think and yes body changing I will get out and have a walk tonight, starting to cool down out there!!
I have no idea of the damage I did to my lungs but they still hurt and seem to be slowly getting better I hope anyway :)
when I think about smoking its such a bad thing to do to myself it really is such bad self abuse, I don't want to ever smoke again one day at time, I I have been going through changes inside and the memory wants a smoke to deal with it and so when I say no I get very restless so learning to deal with life smoke free for me is the challenge and why people go back as they don't know what to do get overwhelmed by the intense feelings and pick up, so yeah walking, deep breathing which still hurts but works at calming me down.
so anyone attempting to quit if the smoked like me and for the reasons I did need to have some understanding we have to do more than just don't smoke !!
geese I go on MC :) have a good day and thanks for the chat !!
IC
IC, I've not turned up to work several times already in the last few weeks. Luckily I run my own small business - another cause of stress..LOL!
Yesterday I went for a long walk but I actually ran some of the time and overheated my body and today I've been paying for it! Crazy person I am at times! Its my addictive personality, I'm sure. I think that when addictive personalities get time to sort out their own mess, they will be good at helping others because they have compassion and are normally quite deep individuals. Thats how I see myself anyway! I think I have a lot of needs and I try to satisfy them by getting deeply addicted.
A few months ago I thought there was something wrong with my bed so I threw it away and ended up sleeping on the hard floor. I know that the problem I had was not sleeping properly because of smoking but I would not admit it to myself. Today I went to IKEA and bought a decent mattress so that my ribs are not digging into the floor when I sleep. Yay! I finally did something for myself and rewarded myself with a new mattress.
Many years ago I met a guy in a bar who looked like he'd just gone through hell. He told me "Never take xtasy my friend because I know your personality and you will become so addicted like me" Well, I never tried it and I've never taken heroin either. Despite that, I am typically a massively addictive smoker. I like to smoke the hell out of my cigarette and get the most of my fix. Some of my friends who watch me attack the ciggies and they feel better about themselves, telling themselves " At least I am not as addicted as he is!"
What should someone like me do? Well, 54 days ago I quit smoking cold turkey. A lot of people gave me advice telling me not to do it so suddenly. However, knowing myself, I never do anything in half measures! You can't give me a double whiskey and tell me to not have a second (another story for another time but an addiction too)
My point us that I know myself too well! Its that first ciggy that is going to get me hooked, just like any other addiction. When my father was alive and living in Asia, he used to tell me a joke saying "If you don't want to get your hair cut, then don't go to the barber"
I think some of you might be mature enough to understand what he was getting at!
I needed help and I still need help! I get help by talking myself through it, writing myself through it and listening to others who have good things that are helpful to me. You know, stuff like
The urges to smoke don't last that long. Its not as bad as you think. The longer you give up, the easier it will become. Yes! I am going to believe this that it does get easier.
Triggers - beware of those subtle triggers. Halt - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired! .. How do I feel right now? Why am I writing this? I think I am lonely and there is no-one to speak to because its too late at night.
Keep congratulating yourself! Wow! Yes! Cool! I am going to be 55 days without a ciggy tomorrow. I am going to pat myself on the back now. In fact, I am going to make a sugar free strawberry tea to reward myself.
I am not alone. Others are struggling like me in the world. Hey you guys out there is the nebulous internet!!! I'm here too!! Don't feel sorry for yourself believing you are the only one who is giving up smoking. We are all in this together my friends. Don't fail me, keep it up so that I get encouraged when you tell me you've hit day 10, 20, 30 and 365 - woohoo! I'm not sure I'll be blogging about this by day 365 but who knows!
. There are so many benefits of not smoking. Hey lets speak them out! I am speaking now...
a. Relaxed Lungs
b. Nicer Skin
c. More aware of smells, even your own..haha! Get some aftershave if it you want to spoil yourself or rub hard with the sweet smelling soap under your arms.
d. I am doing something positive Yes, I am being a testimony to myself and also to others who want to quit. We need people who have traversed the land before others to egg everyone on! I am on the land where the sign says 55 days approaching!
e. Add your own benefits to the list? Hey how's your singing voice, is it getting better etc
God Bless you all as we journey through this one day at a time!
I like reading your stories MC. You talk a lot of sense :) Day 65 for me!! Although i'm cheating on Champix. Half dose though otherwise I can't sleep. Have to decide whether I carry on with them in 2 weeks after the course finishes. So worried that 12 weeks may not be long enough which is quite sad when so many of you are going "cold turkey".
Hey Gina,
Thanks for your encouragement. Day 65 without nicotine. Woo Hoo! Whatever it takes and good luck to you when you finish the course ;)
Great blog buddy. Keep up the good work. Quitting was the hardest thing I had to do in my whole life. But thanks to Mike Avery, I was able to quit in just a matter of one week and never turn back again.
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Congrats on this huge Milestone!
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MC - you still around?
I really like these posts - hope you were able to quit after all this time - Day 15 for me ... wish this site had a quit counter