Other smokers- no support

Thanks Sheehas, I will check out your page. I like the term "toxic" I think it works well for these type of comments. Angelarms I had forgotten all about those friends, I have one of those as well. It's funny as I always knew I would never be one of those ex smokers that told everyone else to quit, I am very open to understanding that it has to be the right time for you and you can't force anyone to do it, but I ever anticipated this other side of it. Just one other hurdle waiting to be taken down by us I guess. Thankyou both for your support, it does mean a lot.

I think we all have friends it know of people that have given us that response.. A close friend if mine,also a smoker ,gave me a very weird almost jealous response when I said I wasn't smoking.thrn she proceeded to tell me " hope you don't expect me ti give up when I'm around you". Comments like that make me want to stick to my guns even more. People like that try to justify their own smoking habit... Those kind of people are usually the ones who probably can't quit...

You nailed it Kellyo. I didn't want to say Jealous but I am sure there are times when I have felt it too when others around me were quitting or attempting to quit. I think deep down any smoker will be willing a quitter to fail. But it's that experience that helps me cope with those comments. It is my time now to quit and I'm not letting anyone bring me down. You are all a fantastic support and it's good to know everyone here understands :)

Hi Mel,

Well done on getting so far. I hear you on the negative un-supportive comments from others. I had the very same it was an awful experience. It is a very rare thing to find a person that has the ability to be supportive especially the smokers!!! I had the same lack of respect and just childish attitudes, jealousy, pathetic that they think you quitting has something to do with them!!!

You hold your head high, and do not let any comment prevent you from moving forward in this process. Believe me when I say that, focus and block them out, it sounds odd of me to say but , absorbing their negativity is feeding into the part of you that wants to go back, give up, do not let it beat you, because you are stronger. It is like the devil and the angel on the shoulders, it is all part of detoxing, and change quitting smoking is a profound life change, effects your mood, stress, you are different for a while going through it. But it WILL balance out, just when you think it wont, when you have reached breaking point or beyond it... you come through. It is massive achievement to be getting through days without smoking. Never forget it takes guts to keep trying,and to keep fighting,and keep attempting. I am 10 months off, I can say no going back..... I never looked better, done wonders for my skin, I had lines and bags under my eyes dried up skin, I looked awful, now it is softer, lines and bags gone, hair also it is the moisture , and the oxygen, mad to think I was only half breathing before. Sleep gets better and I run between 5-7 km four times a week. Replace the bad behavior with something good. change the diet also eat healthy, helps you stay focused on running and vice versa.

One if my friends who was not supportive to me and was cruel actually in a gossipy way during my quit. She still smokes by the way!!!She said I make her feel dirty when she smokes when I call over.I guess that is her own feelings and they were projected onto me, when i was struggling in the early weeks of quitting. It was just amplified , because it everything was about quitting smoking, you are watching everything, the guard is up, paranoid, agitated, you are feeling everything at its highest, everybody seems like they are against and you....and you are alone feeling all these emotions. You will come through the fog..... things will become clearer... you will win.

Sitting in her kitchen the other day when she said that I just smiled to myself. Its over for me, I am stronger now, negativity will not bring me down anymore.... because I got through it!!! Do you know how long it took for me to even say that with confidence (without hearing the negative voices saying don't be cocky) I put the hand up and say seize the day, celebrate it you made it, all the milestones , even down to the hours.

Stay focused on your goal, no matter what , if you shout so be it.... it all passes. Here has been a great support , I truly believe I would be back on them if it were not for here. The support is phenomenal.

Remember this is your choice, and this is your body, your health, it is the people that criticize and ridicule you when you are low, don't matter, and the people matter are the ones that are understanding, follow the positive drop the negatives.

well done, and keep posting and never give up .

hello mel,

i don't want to just repeat the above comments.

read and re read them and you will know that you are not alone and also in a very supportive network.

good on you for voicing your grievances. keep on posting your thoughts, keep strong!

i have however, recently ran into a similar experience. just before i quit smoking, my husband (also then a smoker) asked why i smoked. there were many reasons (mostly silly) but one was to deal with stress. he chuckled, and asked me "what have you got to stress about??"

i too am a mum, staying at home, with 2 kids (mine not his). i have bipolar, depression and until recently been in therapy to deal with being the victim (thought i HATE that word) of domestic violence.

but instead of reacting, for once i held my head high, and simply smiled.

men are such silly creatures!

:-)

Hi to me all these people saying negative stuff are the ones with the problems, true friends will support so I would ignore the others thinking to myself you have to say negative things because you're not happy with yourself so I'm stronger than you coz I don't need to say petty things to make me feel good. Now I'm going forward getting fit and on with life leaving you behind.

So much support here, it's amazing and couldn't do it without you all. Yesterday was 3 weeks for me and I successfully made it through a family BBQ with the inlaws (one of which was the reason for this post) and your words were never far from my thoughts. I spent more time with my kids and nephew than I would have normally, playing games and the like in the yard while most of the other adults sat around smoking. I truly felt amazing and sooooo happy with the choice I have made and my strength to keep going when others would have liked to see me fail, I can't thank you all enough for you support.