So down

Hi.... It has only been 22 days for me. I'm still trying to figure this all out. All I can share is this with you... My mum smoked for 51 years n gave up in dec12 cause she had too. It effected her health big time and she stopped cold turkey. I had no reason to keep smoking only out of habit and when I get those urges, I think about my mum n she motivates me.

You will get through it and a smoke will not help

Hey Dottily,

Firstly a cigarette will not help, in fact the length of time it took you to write this post, the smoke would be finished, and you would feel worse. I found myself crying, alot,angry, low tolerance was a mad woman.Silly thoughts of thinking everyone that smoked I was making them uncomfortable, they think I am a nicer person when I smoked, bla bla. Crazy but I think it was thoughts coming form somewhere deep in my brain, some twisted excuse and a way back to smoking. I believe it was all frustration it was a massive change. I will never smoke again, I do not want to go through those feelings again, I felt lost, but pulled myself together,and got through.It is over now. It can never be as bad as the early days. I am healthier now, truth I am braver now, I used to be the person that nearly had a panic attack going somewhere you cannot smoke, be smoking two and three to make up. Everything revolved around the bloody things,freedom of it is great. When I get through a day without smoking, the stressful ones too, it just eggs me further to not smoke. Armour yourself and keep posting here, it really helps figure things out, I just looked a my previous posts, and can see that I was up and down emotionally. It's normal enough. You are human. It has changed me, made me care for myself more,respect my body and mind more, and stand alone. Made me stronger emotionally in the long run too. Keep going, do not give into it, be kind to yourself, treat yourself to something, because you have done awesome work. See a positive in everyday, find it. You will climb out it can be part of the journey for some. Shoulder tall girl. :)

Hi Dottily,

I can relate to how you are feeling completely. I am on day 2 again because of those feelings. Don't get disheartened though, doesn't mean you will cave too.

I gave up for 1 month then felt terrible emotionally and just had a few here and there then back on them for a week or so. But now I am quitting again. So DONT give in. I actually felt worse for smoking again!

I am glad I have just read all of the above posts as it has given me real hope this time to stay off of them this time. Because we will get through this, and as Gammy said we will find that old me in us. Can't wait.

I have also just started talking to someone during this period for extra strength to kick this once and for all.

Don't forget Dottily a cigarette WONT make you feel better. I mean that sincerely as I just went through what you are now. But it is worse now as I have the physical withdrawals again, not just mental.

Please stick with it, I wish you all the best :)

hi Dottily

I sympathise heaps as I'm doing a really bad patch too, although mine is easier than yours as I don't have the bad emotional bit - maybe its the new moon!!

Perhaps it will help to think of the crying as purging all the past bad stuff including nicotine, and you should feel fresher newer happier once it has all purged. Most if not all natural healings get worse before they get better!

we tend to reach for a ciggie with every change of emotion, you not having done so for 3mths is SO super, and would have been so hard it would be such a shame to have to re-do all your hard work

These emotions you feel could be likened to an extinction burst - your nicotine receptors last ditch emotion to get you to cave; so once you are through this patch (and it will pass) you should feel calmer and stronger and more centered and well beyond most of the hard bits, so hang in there; we are all behind you wishing you well

Thanks everyone for your wonderfully supportive responses. I've read and reread them all day, helps so much with the loneliness and isolation I'm feeling at the moment. I have three beautiful, beloved grandchildren who live literally three minutes drive away and it used to be rare not to spend a part of each day with them. For reasons only she knows, my daughter has been withdrawing them from my life since the beginning of this year, now I hardly see them at all, and its tearing me apart. Add that feeling of utter loss to the emotional rollercoaster that comes with quitting and I'm a mess. Sorry to babble, but that's what's making me question whether anything is worth it. On a more positive note I've nearly made it through another day without caving, and the big 100 days isn't that far away...

hi Dottily

it may not help this second, but staying on the giving up track is definitely the way to go

If you get cancer you will never see those lovely grandchildren, yet if you stay smoke free then whenever your daughter realises the love her children are missing by not seeing their grandmother, you will be there and healthy and ready to embrace them again

looking forward to being able to congratulate your 100 days

Larch thank you for that. I'm crying again, of course... I'll hang on to the thought that they will come back to me. And I'll damn well make the 100 days and all the ones after.

Keep your self busy, working out helps me with anxiety and depression. Reading is also a massive stimulant for me and since I quite smoking for the first time early this week I've had to give up my Reading for a few weeks as this was a massive trigger for me. Get out in the world an do things you love! Trust me, you don't need a smoke to cheer up. Go for walk, workout even have a cuppa and read your fav mag. Can make a huge difference. Stay positive :)