Why I Quit

Why I quit!

I went up to the shops one afternoon and when we were about to leave, I remembered I needed smokes, the line at the smoke shop for Woolies was long, so I went to the bottle shop next door, I asked for my smokes, Winfield Blue Optimum Night, the lady serving got them out, scanned them and put them on the counter. I noticed it was one of these new packets, the Olive green ones with the bigger graphic images on them, it was the one with the lung that was black with emphysema.

 I put my hand up like I was going to say, no don't worry about it, thinking I could get a pack from somewhere else that didn't have the new packaging, but I stopped myself and paid for them anyway, the image made me feel sick. that was what I was doing to myself.. I know the old packages had images on them, but they never had this effect on me, but this packet did..

I put them in my bag and left the shops.. I felt like a smoke as soon as I got home, but when I went to my bag to get them as soon as I saw the image of the blackened lung with emphysema, I would get a really sick feeling, so I put it back in my bag.

We were going to see the in laws, who smokes quite a bit but I didn't want to be tempted to have one while we sat outside and had a cuppa. So I asked my husband (he has never smoked) to stop at the chemist, when we got there, I stood there for ages looking at my options, I didn't want the gum as it made me feel sick and like I had a huge bubble in my throat. I had quit before using patches, but I wasn't happy with them, the cravings were so strong and the patches made me itch really bad. I saw the inhaler one and I considered that, but then I thought, that’s part of the habit I want to break as well, having something like that, I thought for me might not be a good idea then I saw the Nicabate Mini Lozenges, the had the normal ones there but they were the size of a Mentos and I didn’t think I would like that, so I got the 4mg Mini Lozenges.

I managed to get through that evening without the help of the lozenges. The next morning was tough as that's when I feel like one the most, first thing in the morning or straight after I eat.

I went to work, which when I am not working, I was outside on my breaks smoking, I knew I was smoking heavy, I would have 2 at morning tea and 3 in my half hour lunch break. But I didn't smoke when I had a break, but I still went outside with the other people I usually did, who smoke too, I’m sure every break we had, they spent the whole time saying 'I can't believe you're out here and you're not having a smoke' I just giggled saying I couldn't believe it either, but I had put a lozenge in my mouth about 10 mins before my break, so when I went outside, I only felt like a smoke for the habit of doing something with my hands, but not because I wanted one, I honestly didn't feel like one, only the action of having it in my hand and the motion of it. But I didn’t.

It’s day 22 for me, I haven't slipped up once, but I still have that packet with the horrible image on it, they're still unopened and they're are still in my bag, people often say to me, I should get rid of them, that the 'temptation' is there if I have them with me, but I believe it's the opposite for me, by having them, sometimes when I think about smoking, I just look at that packet and it gives me strength to stay quit.

I have found the mini lozenges to be great, when I first started them, I would go through a 20 pack in 2 days, but as the weeks have gone on the use of those is less and less, I opened my last pack of mini lozenges 5 days ago and I still have a few left in it. So I guess I average about 2-3 a day.

I am pretty amazed at how far I have come and it's not often I say it but I am really proud of myself. The one thing I have struggled with is the moodiness and being frustrated, but I am getting better with that, after I quit, I would go as long as I could without a lozenge, but I would get crankier and crankier.. I soon learned, that when I started feeling irritated it was time to have a lozenge.

I know it's still nicotine, but I know I have gone from 10 lozenges a day to 2-3 a day. Some days I won't have my first lozenge until 3 in the afternoon, then some days I need one first thing in the morning. In a few more weeks, I am going to cut down to the 1.5mg mini lozenges (as recommended on the packet) and see how I go with that.

All the best for everyone who have quit, who are trying to quit, people who have had failed quit attempts but aren't giving up on 'giving up'.

I started smoking at 15 and I am now 28.