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MY PLEDGE

Posted in Hints and tips
schedule 30 Sep 2013

This is very long winded and a little elaborate> Unfortunatley, this is the type of motivation I need to instill in myself in order to quit.

I have just had the last cigarette I will ever have. It felt like I was sucking poison into my lungs once again... Poison! I am inhaling those chemicals which lead me to dying a slow and painful death. Me in a hospital bed struggling to breath, I guarantee I won’t take all the great things in my life for granted then. Lying there pale, bald, sick in pain with the people who I haven’t yet managed to lever out of my life standing around me feeling sorry for me. I have done it before and I will do it again, this time for good. Its time to get serious and no more making decisions with carefully assessing the impact on my life. Before I chose to do anything now I will ask myself this simple question, will this make me a better person inside and out? WILL THIS MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON INSIDE AND OUT??? I strive to be better, I am only here for a short time and I am to be the best I can be for the world of tomorrow. I don’t care what people think of me, I don’t care what expectations are placed on me. I make decisions for ME. I have to be a better person before I can help those around me who I love. If the answer to my question is no then I will not do it. However, I will make allowanced for my hard work, a nice pair of shoes, and glass of wine with dinner. But once I have rewarded myself that is it. I am back on focusing on myself. Smoking will never be a part of me again. I will always have urges to smoke and it is silly for me to think that I will not crave cigarettes. I will crave them so much that will almost go crazy. Fine go crazy, GO CRAZY!!!  Because the insanity is only momentary but the health effects will last a lifetime. Right now I am content with never smoking again but over the next 2 weeks in particular I will have many moments of weakness and despair. How will I get through them? I will ask myself that simple question. Is this going to benefit me? Life is about moderation and you can have lots of things in moderation. But smoking is simply not one of them. Smoking is one of the worst decisions you can make in this world. It will take all the money I could use to build a better life. It makes me anxious and creates a cloud in my head making it impossible for me to think clearly. But the worst thing it does is kill you. It kills you without you realising and then when it is to late you realise your mistakes. I am happy for people who don’t need to build a monsoon of motivation to be able to quit. But I am not one of those people and I longer care what people think. I do what is right for me and if this is what I need to quit then so be it. I will not justify another cigarette by saying “the damage is already done”. Even if that is the case I am not happy as a smoker. Food is tastier, the world is brighter, I can smell the true beauty of the world when not smoking. These are the facts and I know these so I have no reason to justify smoking any longer. Today I am a non smoker; I do not associate my feelings with smoking. I now laugh and pity people who smoke and there eyes of sorrow behind a cloud of smoke are more evident now than ever. I no longer smoke, I no longer smoke. I will never smoke again. I will not replace my cravings with food. I will accept that my body is going through a transition and this takes time. I will endure, the feelings of hopelessness are but temporary. To beat each craving is a victory, a victory that will inevitably make me stronger in the long run. I will fight each victory on its own and I will endure the suffering that that entails. I will think in the moment as I will have many battles to come, but the one most important is the battle I am fighting right now. Each time a though of justifying another cigarette comes into my head I will crush it like a grape. I will stomp on that though with all the might I possess in my body and bury it deep into the earth. No more smoking to make my friends feel more comfortable. It is clear that they do not want to smoke either. I will make it clear to them that I am no longer a smoker and they will rejoice. If I am agitated and don’t feel like I can be myself without smoking, I must accept that this is part of the battle. I don’t want to be myself anymore if that means smoking. More importantly I don’t care what other people think about me anymore, I don’t need to impress them so I don’t care if they find me boring now I am a non smoker. These words are useless if I do not mean them, I have to believe these words. There is a lion inside of me that just took on the battle of its life. I must fight, I must endure, I must stay resilient and conquered my addiction. Feel the power you have inside you and never take a backwards step. 

By sconie
schedule 30 Sep 2013

Well done i very much enjoyed reading your post i believe everything that you said and it all makes sense. STAY STRONG and true to yourself and keep posting.

By nicky68
schedule 30 Sep 2013

Short term pain. Long term gain.

By moons
schedule 30 Sep 2013

monsoon speak....loved it and related so much being the moment is so near for me. Found your words very inspirational. Good .for you and wishing you well.

schedule 30 Sep 2013

Hi interesting post reminds me of myself at the beginning. firstly well done on deciding to quit. You raised alot of interesting points and concerns. you seem very well prepared for it. Stay strong and one day at a time , never forget that. Keep posting here we are here to support you, everyone is going through similar experiences believe me we get it.....

By Gammy
schedule 1 Oct 2013

Hi there meanassmik,

Firstly congratulations on making one of the hardest and smartest decisions in your life. You've got the right outlook of the whole smoking game, its a destructive addiction and there are absolutely nothing positive to gain from smoking. Stay strong and focused, Your body will reward you for getting off the fags,Its a bumpy journey, but honestly the cravings come and go, yes they can be insanely intense but its all part and parcel of the quit process and cleansing your body..

good luck, take care and keep posting xx

schedule 1 Oct 2013

Loved what you wrote, I agree completely with what you said.

I gave up for about 1 month about 1 week or so ago, and caved in, so annoyed with myself. But I only smoked for a couple of days here and there.

I have started the process again. Sunday night was my last one. It does sort of get easier the more you quit.

I must need a lot of practice lol.

Well done on stopping and I wish you all the best.

Thanks for your inspirational pledge. :)

By kimk
schedule 2 Oct 2013

Hi 78 days here believe me Its difficult but the truth is you must look at it as"one day at a time" that really is the only way to handle it when i feel like I want to smoke its morbid but I go one some of the sites and read about all the poor people who have died or have had surgerys due to smoking related diseases.believe me its much easier to just pick up a cigarette but i really dont want to end up the woman who hacks all the time or looks grey in the face or hair smells yuck ! I miss just the hanging out relaxing the most ...I say the best time to quit is the winter months.I did not smoke in my house so when its cold out it makes it easier. I have been smoking since I was 14 and I am 41 quit one time for 2 1/2 years why i went back was just I was board how sad right??? well I wish each and everyone luck on their journey YOU CAN DO IT you hve to want to :)

By kimk
schedule 2 Oct 2013

and sharon you can do it !!!!! take each minute each hour and each day at a time !!! i want to see a few months next time come on girl lol

By kimk
schedule 2 Oct 2013

and sharon you can do it !!!!! take each minute each hour and each day at a time !!! i want to see a few months next time come on girl lol

schedule 3 Oct 2013

Dear meanassmik. You have given me some inspiration and some thought processes to help get me through!! Thanks, and go for it.

schedule 29 Oct 2013

WOW just wow exactly what i needed at this point.. Day 2

By janineh
schedule 29 Nov 2013

you are talking to me! everything you have said i agree with you...thanks for taking the time to write these words to yourself as they have helped and motivated me also....i am nearly a non smoker...i cant wait to say..no thanks, i dont smoke...janine day 4! good luck for your future!